Breaking The Glass Wall, part 8: Taking Back The Stage

At the start of 2020, I decided I was going to dedicate myself to building my creative career, and break out of the same aimless pattern I repeated too many times before. I was never again going to repeat the same cycle of:

- Enter into a new part-time job.

- Think said job would finally allow me the freedom to pursue my creative work.

- Realize that this job sucks like all the ones before and once again be sucked dry and taken advantage of.

- Be left with no time or energy for anything creative and leave the job to try and find something better.

I made the decision that I was no longer going to waste my time and energy on jobs that didn’t serve or benefit me. Going into 2020, I was determined to put my artistic career first and succeed at it.

But then all the craziness of 2020 hit, and all my goals and any hopes I had of establishing a solid artistic career went out the window.

Every creative opportunity and resource was taken from me, and I found myself stuck in my house all year feeling lost, isolated, useless, and powerless. It wasn’t just disappointing, it was devastating.

2020 took away my work, my creative outlets, and most importantly my voice.

But now it’s a new year, with a new start and new opportunities. And now I’m getting back on my feet and taking back everything 2020 took from me.

From personal things, like improving my hair and makeup skills, to professional aspirations, like landing a singing position in a professional church choir, I have a laundry list of things I want to accomplish. But above all, my biggest goal is to put my health, happiness, and ability to be creative before everything else.

2020 showed me the importance of taking care of myself. So in 2021, I want to focus more on clearing my head, shaking off last year’s negativity and fear, and making room for more positivity and good things. So far…

- I bought a day planner for 2021, and a new iPhone.

- I threw out a bunch of old clothes and clutter in my room.

- I started eating healthy and exercising again.

- I’m playing the lottery more often.

- I’m continuing my new skincare...

... and hair care routine.

- I started dyeing my hair with oVertone.

- I spent a lot of time practicing different languages on Duolingo...

- ... and I started taking some free online classes through Harvard last year in an effort to keep my brain from turning to mush.

- I’ve already started getting some art modeling gigs lined up, both in person and virtual.

- I booked some sessions with Acting and Voice Studios to shoot two demo reels, one for film and one for voiceover.

I’ll be recording my voiceover reel in a few weeks, and shooting my film reel in February!

That’s been the scariest move for me to make so far; after all the uncertainty and scary stuff we’ve been through in the last year, part of me feels like it’s not worth the risk because everything could fall through again.

But I’m proud of myself for doing it anyway. I feel like I’m taking charge, and it makes me excited to move forward with the rest of my goals, like…

- Get my hair cut every month.

- Take makeup lessons.

- Keep saving money for clear aligners.

- Finish the Performing Arts Industry Essentials online certificate program from NYU/Backstage and finally put this certificate on my resume.

- Take more online classes.

- Lose this last bit of weight.

- Start taking dance classes.

- Brush up on piano, learn guitar, and possibly learn another new instrument.

- Get new headshots done.

- Buy a ring light, so I can take better pictures and videos at home.

- Land a professional church choir job.

- Get regular singing, acting, and modeling work.

But my ultimate goal? Not only establish myself as an artist, but reinvent myself.

I’ve been unhappy with myself and where my life is at. I want to be better, and be an example of something good to the world. So through all the small steps I’ve been taking, I’ve been working on creating a new identity for myself.

In the near future, I’ll have some new social media accounts, including a new Instagram, a Twitter, and I might even make a TikTok! I’ll be showcasing all my creative work, from music, to acting and modeling, to writing, all under my new stage name: Jaye!

I’ll be honest… I get overwhelmed when I think about it all at once and I can't help but wonder how I’m going to do it all. But accomplishing those little things is helping me feel like all those big, daunting goals are possible.

It’s all so exciting and intimidating at the same time. But I’m determined to make 2021 the year I finally take back my career, my creativity, my voice, and my life.