Being Homeless Was A Blessing ! (Yep, You read that right.)

I know what your thinking " Intriguing title, but is this just another generic story about someone who was "homeless" and became a millionaire and 100 FABRICATED stories just like it all over Facebook?" Well, I can't promise that it will be an unforgettable page-turner, but can tell you it is 100% true and it's MY story. My journey and how it was a blessing in disguise.

My journey into, through, and out of homelessness starts in 2019. I had just put 1 year of jail time behind me. I won't go deep into the details on that one. It all boiled down to me having been a dumb and impressionable teenager who got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thankfully, I learned that lesson as a minor and I can put it behind me and off my permanent record. "So if You're not going into detail, how is this relevant?" Well keep this in mind as you read on, I went to jail a Sheltered and damaged 17 year old. I knew nothing about the real world outside of my relatable childhood fantasy idea of what adulthood would be like. I had been bullied and left out all the way through school. The one or two "friends" that I did have I was never allowed to hang out with outside of school, EVER. My mom has a disease that attacks the nervous system called multiple sclerosis (MS). My entire childhood she would have episodes that would cause her to be so disoriented that she couldn't comprehend what you'd say to her or speak back, barely be able to walk, and she would have bad falls. She always said that stress makes the attacks worse and my stepdad would blame me saying "you're killing my wife!" So here I was as a closeted gay kid, being bullied, isolated from having no social life, always in trouble, taking care of my ill mother, my father was rarely in my life, I had a little sister to take care of, and battling depression and anxiety only to find out after I grew up that my mom used the so-called "attacks" as a cover-up for severe drug abuse. The idea of coming out as gay after the childhood I had terrified me. So like most kids, I couldn't wait to be an adult! You know, 18, I can do what I want, when I want and nobody can say I can't. Well, I spent my 18th birthday locked up, "not the ideal intro to adulthood". So I was released with the privilege of no probation. I was a free man ready for the world to bow down and get ready!

I wasn't out for a full hour and I was already making a decision that I would end up regretting later, I bought my first, legal, pack of cigarettes. I had smoked before jail but I hadn't had a cigarette in over a year! Little did I know that breaking that bad habit would be a whole lot harder when nobody can force you to stop. Going into day 2 of freedom I already had one dumb mistake under my belt, what's next? Well, I thought I'd meet up with some friends I hadnt seen since I left. I called them up and was so happy that they were so glad to see me! We all went to the river we used to hang out at in high school. After an hour or so of explaining and shock of it all, they filled me in on what I missed in their lives. I was so overwhelmed that I didn't even realize that one of my friends had slipped away from the group until I saw him return. He took no time before yelling, "CELEBRATION". He reached into his shorts pocket and pulled out a bag of marijuana and a pipe. I bet you already see where this is going. I smoked with them, got too high, and ended up in a ditch on my way home that night. I will go ahead and say I have nothing against others' choice to smoke cigarettes and or marijuana, to each his own. I still do both, but that was bad timing and poor decision-making on my part.

The bad decisions don't stop there. We did plenty of drinking over the following weeks. There is something I left out, I'm gay. I knew but none of my friends did. About the 1 month mark of being released, I decided it was time to man up and come out. The first person I came out to was my best friend at the time a.k.a my ex-girlfriend (Awkward!). She was more excited than I was and she had a plan. That night she took me to my first drag show to celebrate. By the first performance I had fallen in love with the art of drag and at that moment I knew I was gonna be a drag queen. The drag experience in itself was amazing and it was a big factor in discovering myself and my sexuality. But the people involved in the drag community were my downfall. I started staying out all night and coming home to my fathers' house ( where I had lived since jail ) drunk. I ended up getting drunk EVERY night bc guys bought me drinks on repeat. I started getting more and more involved with drag. My father knew I was gay, it was a don't ask don't tell kinda thing. I was getting dressed and doing my makeup in my room and getting my pre buzz on when my dad got home from work, WAY early. Needless to say, he was not happy about it at all. He said I was not to be doing (girly stuff) in his house. Me, already having a decent buzz going, said " well if you don't support me for being me in your home then I then you don't deserve me being here! " I packed all of my drag things and all that I could fit into a garbage bag and I moved into my car.

It was only a week later that the very few tips I got from performing were my only source of income. I drank at night and slept during the day, hoping the next night I'd make enough money to get Mcdonalds. so I decided I'd get a job, easy enough! I got hired with no problem, within a day or two, but with the life that I was living, I went to work exhausted and hungover daily. They fired me just as quickly as they had hired me, I should've seen that one coming. I started to sell my belonging so I could eat and shower at the truck stop down the road from the bar. I was addicted to booze, drank all the time! So I started dating the guys that bought me drinks, it seemed to solve my food and bathing problems too. Easy fix! Not. Eventually, they all caught on and word spread that I was a trashy drunk whore. Well, there went my security and my drag career. I was almost to my breaking point when my dad asked me to move back in. I was so happy and with a few rough weeks and determination, I stopped drinking. I Still smoked a lot of pot though. There were many situations that I got into that I prefer not to share. I had been raped, used, mentally abused, and every time something bad happened someone would always tell me it was my fault. All of my efforts had been to just finallhy belong somewhere. So, I decided after a while I had nothing left for me there and moved to a new state to live with my grandmother. Off I went.

I had lived with my grandmother for a couple of weeks and was finally settled in. I tried getting a job so I wouldn't have to steal food but no matter how hard I'd try I was still gay and that makes getting work from homophobic people very difficult. I was ready to meet new people. Through a past relationship, I had become aware of a guy that I had the biggest crush on and I talked to him for a while. We finally met up and a few hours later I had already fallen head over heels for him! I had it bad! There was no doubt after all I had been through that this guy was going to be the one that destroyed me. not long after meeting we started dating and just clicked. Fast forward to 8 months later, we are still together and engaged with a beautiful fur family and big plans for the future. What I had been through taught me to better understand others' intentions, be content with very little, manage money diligently and it led me to Mr right. so I don't regret a second of it. it wasn't always easy but in the end, what I went through was a blessing in disguise. I wouldn't change my past for all the money or friends in the world. I finally belong. To my future husband, the man who saved my life! The amount of struggle I faced and the pain I went through has made me into a stronger person than I thought possible. Those of you going through hard times, let it build you tougher not tear you down.

I hope this helps someone reading it, you're not alone and you will be ok.

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