Autism and Transition Into Adulthood

Dear Readers,

We meet again. I am Sunny Dolen. I am 24 years old and was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of three, as you already know. If you read my last story, you will know that Autism affects many people and no person on the spectrum is alike. We are all unique and have different abilities and qualities.

In high school, I went to an online public school called Georgia Cyber Academy. In the ninth grade, I had to take Algebra 1, which was the subject most challenging for me. I had to get tutoring and other accommodations which were listed in my IEP. Such accommodations included extra time on tests and tutoring after class. Since Algebra 1 was really hard for me, I had to study really hard and get help with my homework, which my father helped me with a lot on Saturdays and whenever he had availability. I had extra time on my math tests, allowing time and a half on all my math tests. I nearly failed Algebra but still passed with a C, which is 70% or higher.

Biology was easier to understand, because we just had to memorize a lot of vocabulary, such as photosynthesis, miosis, mitosis, and osmosis. I have always been a fast learner, so this subject was one of my strengths.

World Literature and Composition was really fun, because we read MacBeth and Hamlet by William Shakespeare. I loved acting out the plays he wrote, because all of the characters were evil and ambitious. Imagine how he would feel knowing that his works are still popular, today.

I also took History and Spanish and found those a bit more challenging than those of Biology and Literature and Composition. They each had unique challenges, such as dates and vocabulary. They were each puzzling in their own way. These will be explained in detail soon.

This is because in History, we had to memorize a lot of dates and had midterms and had to know what every king, queen, and dictator was responsible for. In the fall semester, we had to learn about the prehistoric times and all the times before the modern era, including the Huns. In the spring semester, we learned about the Civil War and all the times leading up to World War 1 and World War 2 and what led Adolf Hitler to do everything he did. We also had to learn about the modern world after that.

Spanish, which I took for three years in high school, was hard because of all the vocabulary to memorize, as well as the grammar. We had to learn the formal and informal forms of Tu, as well as the gender of each object and the adjectives and pronouns. We also had writing assignments. We even went on a field trip where we went to a Mexican restaurant and had to order our food and drinks in Spanish. That was a lot of fun, because I knew enough Spanish to order at a restaurant.

In the IEP I mentioned previously, I had IEP meetings with my mother and Home Room teacher each month or quarter. The teacher would make sure that I was getting accommodations and that I was also doing well in my classes. To whoever needs an IEP, it is important for the student to do his or her part to make sure they are studying hard. However, it is the teacher's job to follow the IEP, because the law requires it per the ADA, Americans with Disabilities Act. However, some teachers still refuse to obey this law and blames the student with a disability, causing more problems. This is why I recommend home schooling.

I graduated highschool in 2015 and went to Senior Prom in the 12th grade. I was single, but I was still happy to see my crush from the 10th grade who I previously met at a dance, which was a spring formal for Freshmen and Sophomores. His name was James. He asked to dance with me at that dance and two years later at the prom. But we never dated, and that is fine.

In high school, I had no time to socialize with and date anyone, because I was always swamped with homework. Homework took up all of my time, so it was really hard to volunteer at non-profit organizations or do other activities.

My school required high school students to complete 100 hours of community service so that they would be more well- rounded. We could not graduate without our 100 hours. On top of all the homework and online classes, completing these community service hours was really challenging, but I gave it my all. I completed at least 50 hours in the 10th grade and 50 in the 11th grade.

During high school, I volunteered in a co-op and food pantry called the Gwinnett North East Co-Op, a place for disadvantaged people to get food and other things they need with food stamps. This was a great learning experience for me, as I learned what those who are less fortunate have to go through. It is nice to help fight hunger and help out in the community when you are a teenager, because you learn to have empathy and compassion at a young age and see the need right in your own city or town.

Aside from my volunteer work, there was not very much else I did in high school and was very lonely and isolated. The only other thing I did was attend youth group on Wednesday nights at our church.

After I graduated high school, I did not know what to do and had no friends. I was stuck in what I like to call a dark valley where one cannot see the sun, pitch black for an entire year. I could not see my way through it, until I met a man I mentioned in my first Autism story. I met him on a panel for other Autistic people at the age of 19 and we started dating, as I mentioned previously. But for now, we will focus on how he took me under his wings and opened up my world about advocacy. His speech was so inspiring that I knew that my long term goal in life was to be an advocate for people on the spectrum and others.

I went to all the meetings of a local branch of the Autism Self- Advocacy Network in Atlanta, Georgia. I was not prepared to speak on certain things, so I just listened and observed in the meetings. I discovered that they did not like certain organizations. One in particular they were very adamant about not supporting was Autism Speaks, because they made an advertisement in 2009 titled, "I am Autism", a video which they said that Autism was worse than "pediatric aids, diabetes, and cancer combined." It also said that anyone with an Autistic child would get a divorce. More recently, I have found out that Autism Speaks was using Sesame Street's Autistic character, Julia, for their campaigns and anti- Autism propaganda. I thought they had improved a lot, but came to realize that they are doing all this again. So I, too, am very adamant against this organization and probably always will be for the rest of my life. I tried to find common ground and meet them in the middle, but I just cannot. They also believe in ABA therapy.

I went to Gwinnett Technical College at the age of 20 and was excited but nervous at the same time. I thought I wanted to become a teacher, only to realize later down the line that I did not have an aptitude for teaching young children, which led to discouragement and depression. I was majoring in Early Childhood Care and Education with a concentration in Exceptionalities, because I wanted to work as a pre-k teacher for children with special needs. I always had a heart for special needs children and families, but never understood how demanding and challenging it would be.

I breezed through ECCE 1101, 1103, and 1105, thinking that all the other classes would be the same and that one day, I would be put in a classroom with all those smiling children. The textbooks made teaching seem fun and exciting and how the teachers could easily resolve conflicts within seconds, but that is not how it is in real life. I later realized this when I took 1112, 1113, and Practicum, thinking that I could pass. We had an instructor with very high expectations and the rubric never made any sense.

I decided that I did not want to be a teacher anymore, knowing that I did not have the aptitude for it, even though I love children. Deep down, I always knew that what I really had an aptitude for was advocating and speaking up for those who either cannot speak for themselves, or who struggle in areas in which others do not. I also am really blessed with the ability to do public speaking, as I already did a panel with seven women on the Autism spectrum called the "Rise Up, Speak Up, Power Up, Autistic Women's Panel", on the tenth day of March, 2019. That panel also took a lot of planning and coordination.

With this new knowledge, I knew that it gave me an opportunity to research other fields and see what interested me. I took some online aptitude tests and looked at other careers, but nothing struck a chord with me. Thus, I was stuck in the throes of life, not knowing what to do, next. I was in the dark, once more. It was very troubling and mind-boggling. I also discovered that I hated the thought of wasting my life in a warehouse.

My future looked dismal and I did not know what else to do. I spent a lot of my time both during college and afterward for a whole year going to Anime Weekend Atlanta and going to the conventions and also their clubhouse, talking about anime. I made a really good friend named Marlon who passed away this year in August, 2020. I spent a few years during college and after volunteering in the warehouse of the Anime Weekend Atlanta clubhouse, painting speakers and props, sorting manga, and working on getting other things built for the panels. I also helped with shipment and placement, as well as packing and unpacking before and after each convention. I volunteered while going to Gwinnett Technical College and afterwards for four years.

I started out as a butler in the Kuma Kuma Maid Cafe, (Bear Bear Maid Cafe in Japanese). That was so hard, but I did my best. After the first time, they recommended I go to a different department, because I was not quite up to par, and the cafe was going to get more difficult because of pop-up events and a lot of advertising for the convention. I was heartbroken, but I learned that I could be in a department where I could really thrive. That department is called Panda Ops. Our department leader is Courtney. She is the best department leader I have ever met.

I was still volunteering in Panda Ops after I dropped out of college. That was my home away from home, and I was content to just do that. But due to the pandemic, I have had to find other things to do to earn money, such as work and also writing on the side.

I did not look for a job until I was 23 years old. I entered into a job program called the Georgia Vocational Rehabilitation Agency, GVRA for short. This is a program for disabled people to help pair them with the right paid job training program as well as the appropriate job coach who will work with him or her on job interview and job skills, as well as model appropriate grooming and hygiene. I already had very good grooming and hygiene, but did not have many job readiness skills, job search skills, or job interview skills.

I was in a job training program through Goodwill of North Georgia, five days a week, from 9:00am to 3:30pm, at $7.25 an hour. This was where I leaned different skills, such as colorizing women's clothing, sorting women's shoes, doing recover on the sales floor, fitting rooms, cleaning the bathrooms, and more. I learned a lot during the few months I was in the job training, as well as how to speak to other employees.

During this job training, I still had no idea what I wanted to do or what would become of me. I was in the dark all over again for the third time in my life. I was very anxious to see if anyone would hire me, despite my Autism, because there is still much workplace discrimination against those with disabilities. I feared that because of my strange behavior or lack of eye- contact, or perhaps the way I speak would be all of my sins that no one would give me a job.

I looked for a job for an entire year, a time which was very hard to find my way out. This period in my only made me stronger. The job I ended up getting is a part time job at Old Navy, a retail store just 10 miles from home. It is a great start, but I still need to figure out my long term goal, career wise. I know what my main long term goal and purpose in life is, which is to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves and anyone who is on the Autism spectrum, as well as for the black and latinx communities and the LGBT community.

But even though I know what my main goal is, I still do not know if I should go back to college, start a business, or join a work union. The prospect of going to college, going into debt, come out with a degree but still no job, as well as being in a trade union, really does not really appeal to me. The thing is, I have so much information at my disposal through the internet, that it is overwhelming. The thing is, I am getting older. I do not know where to turn, but am still trying to figure it out. The only thing that stands out to me the most is being an activist and advocate for Autistic people, because I have Autism. I also want to advocate for everyone else, as well.

I am inspired by My Chemical Romance, because in their album, "Welcome to The Black Parade", they are adamant about fighting for those who are different. In fact, that is the whole point of the entire band! To fight for those who do not have all the same benefits as everyone else is the whole point of My Chemical Romance. Their political ideology is quite clear; they want all of us to march in the black parade and join the rebel army to usher in change. There is a song by My Chemical Romance in the album, "Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys", which is about fighting for people with disabilities. "Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind", are some of the lyrics. Clearly, the song, "Sing" is about speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves. This is one reason why I love My Chemical Romance and why they are one of my favorite bands.

I still want to get married and have children, but I do not want to bring another child into this world, considering all the terrible things going on in this world, with all the shootings, violence, wildfires, and other traumatizing things that everyone has to go through, along with police brutality, and so on. I would rather adopt, seeing as how many children are in the foster care system, in orphanages, and/ or homeless.

All too often, a couple will adopt a child, only to realise that they cannot love that child unconditionally. The child, through no fault of his own, finds himself back in the orphanage or on the street, again. This is exactly what happened to a little boy when he was two years old. A famous YouTube couple with 700,000 subscribers had adopted a Chinese boy, only to "rehome" him because he was later diagnosed with Autism. If this is how the system treats children with disabilities, aside from the fact that the channel is monetized, then I hope to adopt, rather than bear children. I would encourage everyone to adopt, seeing as how the system treats children as a whole. But background checks need to make sure that would-be parents are really prepared for raising a child with special needs.

Aside from the adoption question, I am moving forward day by day. Today, I am so blessed to have a job and finally be on medication for my anxiety, as well as have friends and a support system and to at least know what my main purpose in life is as an activist. I also know that I am loved and that I will continue to do great things in the community. I will always make time for others and do everything I can to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and to also help the needy and downtrodden.

I will work hard to educate parents, teachers, instructors, caregivers, first responders, employers, professionals, and others about Autism and comorbidities, such as Autism and ADHD and Selective Mutism, as well as the behaviors and patterns which accompany them. I want to make sure that children are more safe and that no one will mistreat those who are different.

Finally, I will always bring hope to the hopeless and help others to see that Autistic people can grow up to be amazing people, crushing stereotypes about Autism. I want to bring hope to parents and caregivers of Autistic children and others with disabilities that their child can still grow up and live a successful life. I will always fight for equality and will never stop until I die. Autism is not a disease; it is a challenge but not a curse. People with disabilities need a voice, and I am a living example of how I continue to transition into adulthood, one baby step at a time.

I will write to you all again, shortly.

Love,

Sunny