Are You Ashamed To Die?

Hello. My name is not Atlas Thunderbaux, and I would like to talk about a topic that is hard to have any clarity on whatsoever. The directions we want to take our lives and the values that drive them. And most importantly how we want to be known when our lives come to an end.

The Past Futures.

I used to be a directionless husk of a person. I look back at the past and cringe. I feel ashamed and embarrassed, which is good because those are emotions we feel about ourselves if we have truly experienced self-growth.

I woke up miserable, went to work angry and resented everything. I resented low pay, meaningless work and people who seemed to have it better. I did nothing to change this and expected things to get better. It was entitlement and self-pity run rampant because I had no guiding values or principles. Unless overwork yourself, inflict rancid mood swings on people and acquire alcohol are principles. These factors lead to no futures. It was just drifting down a meaningless path to a destination that doesn’t exist.

The Spark

“Until you have done something for humanity, you should be ashamed to die.”

I came across this notion while reading Christopher Hitchens' memoir Hitch 22 and it hit me like a sledgehammer. This is why I tried to become a police officer. This is why the careers and directions I want to take my life contribute to the community. It perfectly encapsulates exactly what I want to do with my life at this stage and feeds into my three driving values.

The Futures

A plethora of futures opened up to me when I finally realised what values were true to me. Though I formulated them with a career in mind, they have been the driving force for how I live my life. These values are: To challenge myself. To have branching paths and positions to strive for, and to help people.

After so long focusing on myself and being the centre of my own little universe, I knew helping people was the real future I wanted to run towards. Helping others might be the best boon to mental health. I want to incorporate that into my professional life so I can support others while supporting myself and my family.

That’s why the Police was a slam run. Home dunk? I hate sports.

A salary, or even rewards in general, shouldn’t be the main driver for contributing to the community either. I donate blood regularly. It is the easiest thing, if it is something you are eligible to do, and is an essential service. This means you can do it all the time – even during a mandated pandemic lockdown. If you take away nothing from this, take away the importance of blood donation. These are vital contributions to the community.

But if that's it. If that is all I do then no wonder there is always a lingering sense of dissatisfaction in my life. My nine-to-five contributes nothing to humanity, so until I change that, I will be ashamed to die. But I pledge to you now dear reader, that when my time comes to enter Valhalla, I will have achieved a state of unashamed fulfilment. I will have helped someone.

Your Futures.

If you have read this and feel attacked for not helping out others, don’t. I am fortunate to have the time, and resources to do so and still only do the bare minimum. Some aren’t that lucky or may have fallen on hard times.  You need to focus on your own physical and mental health before you focus on others anyway. We can only be effective in helping others if we have first helped ourselves.

Do not read this and feel ashamed about your life. Use this wonderful and impactful quote the way I am. To drive yourself towards more effective futures for you and the communities you are a part of.

What are some values you can start living your life by right now?

Feel free to share those values with me here.

Thank you for your time.

Atlas Thunderbaux