A Note To My Fellow Writers

Since I’ve been on Vocal, which has only been two months having joined mid-August, I’ve come to realize there’s a pretty big and obvious demon that a lot of us are burdened by and that is weighing us down - and that is self doubt. Or I should say Self Doubt.

This is totally understandable because, well, we’re writers. And to be writers, we have to be vulnerable. We write about what is in the deepest, most intimate parts of our hearts and souls and we bleed that out on the page - whether it’s in a horror story, a poem, a sci-fi piece or anything else under the sun. It’s like we’re cracking open our hearts for all to see. And that is scary. We put a lot of ourselves into our writing, so it can hurt when we aren’t recognized.

And if you’re like me, you might be an introvert. Writing is made for an introvert. Introverts live in their heads (or at least I do!). I’m quiet, more often than not. I observe rather than interact with others. And writing allows us to communicate to others without, you know, actually communicating face-to-face. It allows us to share with others how we feel about things, even if that’s through a fictional character that is nothing like we are. Our characters are us.

Being so vulnerable and sharing our writing on a platform like Vocal - of course it can lead to a mix of emotions, like that big demon of Self Doubt sitting right there on your shoulder - whispering in your ear you’re not good enough! Or, what are you doing here? Or, you think you’re a real writer?

And when we don’t win that challenge, or get picked as a top story, or get many reads on our pieces, the demon grows bigger and starts to scream at you. See, I told you so?! It chides and laughs.

But you have to ignore that demon. Not ignoring it just makes it grow bigger and more powerful. It’s like feeding a Gremlin after midnight. Don’t give it any fuel to make it turn into a big and scary beast. Listening to that inner critic, the one that tells you you aren’t a writer, why are you here? That can only be a bad thing.

We all have it, that negative nelly inner critic. Some people just have louder and more persistent ones than others. I remember years ago a friend who had edited part of a story of mine came over to my house with my manuscript and handed over the marked-up pages and began to give me feedback on my story. I just nodded numbly at her as she critiqued my writing. Once she left, I promptly proceeded to shove my story into a box and place it in my closet and not look at it again (I did eventually (after a year or two!)). But, man, did that sting. It felt like she was attacking me. After all, that’s what the characters on the page were. They were parts of me.

That’s why when our writing isn’t recognized in ways we expect or hope, we can get bitter and jaded. We get upset, lash out and think why not me? It’s okay to be sad and disappointed, but that doesn’t mean we should throw in the towel and just give up. You have to remember that you are worthy. You are a writer. You write. You write because you enjoy it (or if you don’t enjoy it, why are you here?). All this other stuff? It’s just icing on the cake. It’s a nice to have, but not the be-all end-all. But you have to remember, take away all that extra stuff, you’re still a writer and that’s the most important thing. You can’t abandon and give up part of who you are.

There’s a line from my favourite poem Desiderata which says:

You have a right to be here

And it continues:

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

And it's something I always keep in mind, and it's something I remind the demon on my shoulder often. So tell that demon of Self Doubt to shut the f*ck up because you’re too busy writing to listen to it!

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