A New Future From the Ashes of Lost Dreams

One beautiful thing about life is the human ability to dream.

We often ground our identities, purposes, and life's meanings in our dreams. They're the reason we wake up and keep going.

On the flip side, the loss of those dreams can be utterly devastating.

We've all had it happen. Whether it was a lost love, a lost career, a lost family, or even a lost identity, we all know what it's like to lose.

Some of the worst things to lose are the ones that never come to fruition in the first place.

These are the things (careers, loves, identities, etc.) we spend years working towards, only for them to crumble like ashes within our palms.

In a moment, the course of our lives are changed by the loss.

Years of work and dedication are now rubble. And how do you build something new with charred remains?

We all understand the gut-wrenching pain of losing the life we wanted or the dream we thought we could have.

This phenomenon is perhaps best summed up by the emotional scenes of Disney's Tangled.

If you're laughing or doubting right now, stick with me. Because the movies that were meant for children can sometimes have the most ground breaking and painfully clear messages to our adult selves.

This one's? It can be terrifying and earth-shattering to have to find a new dream.

After the high of accomplishing her lifelong dream-to see the lanterns -Rapunzel was gripped by fear and hesitation.

In the film, Rapunzel's achievement of her dream left her with a terrifying question: what would she do now?

After waiting her whole life to see the lanterns, where would she go from here?

In the movie, we get a heartwarming ending. In our own lives, not so much.

In my life, as Im sure many others, we don't have to find new dreams because we've accomplished the old.

Instead, something happens that prevents us from ever achieving the first one.

No matter what the cause is, we often find ourselves having to redefine who we are-both to ourselves and the world.

We spend our lives thinking we're one person-that we are going to be one thing. But all too often, we have to throw that identity away.

It can be gut-wrenching. The person we spent our life planning to be is suddenly entirely out of reach.

For the lucky ones, we can redefine ourselves. We can forge new identities, new dreams.

Like the Phoenix, we rise out of the ashes of our old dreams, forging something new, stronger, and hopefully, better.

Our desires for our old identities eventually scar over. The wound is there, but a new life can be a healing balm.

But no matter what happens-no matter how good or bad our lives turn out--it is very difficult to let go of our dreams.

In Tangled, Rapunzel was able to find her new dream: the love of her life.

Yet, in an emotional climax, the pair declare this to each other as Flynn/Eugene lay dying.

It's enough to bring adults to tears, much less the children for which the movie was made.

Both characters had found a way to move on, but that seemed lost to them too. Since the movie is 13 years old (yikes), I'll go ahead and spoil it for you.

Rapunzel's magic, which was previously contained in her hair, is used one last time when her teardrop falls on Eugene's/Flynn's cheek, essentially bringing him back to life.

As I said in the beginning, the pair gets a happy ending.

If only we had the power of magic to restore life to our own lost dreams.

Unlike the movie, we don’t have magic. But we do have to find ways to move forward.

Whether it's for our kids, our rental payments, or even ourselves, life demands we adapt.

Adaptation is not the beautiful and inspiring process cinema makes it out to be. Without a clear direction, dream, and the assistance of magic, it can feel downright impossible.

Rather than a Phoenix from the ashes, we're just surrounded in the burnt remains of the lives we wanted.

They make our eyes burn. They clog our throats. They stick to our hands and clothes.

We feel like we're forever condemned to be nothing but ashes.

Instead, our adaptation is real. It's brutal, raw, and honest. In a way, that has its own kind of beauty.

In the film, Eugene/Flynn takes his last moments of breath to chop off Rapunzel's locks.

Rather than let her use her powers to save him, he frees her.

It was a moment we all gasped, shocked.

And as her hair turned from a shining blonde to a "dead" brown, his presumed last chance was sacrificed for her.

Rapunzel’s freedom did not come without cost, and neither does ours.

We, metaphorically, have to cut our hair.

There's no guarantee that we will get the storybook ending. In fact, it's likely that we won't.

But what we can get is a new beginning.

Only ones we free ourselves of the expectation of our old dreams, can we even begin to try to find new ones.

More often than not, we won't have a brave, self-sacrificing love interest to make the decision for us. This is something we have to do for ourselves.

But by letting our dreams die-dreams that had already turned to rubble-we can sweep up the ash, wash our face, and find something new.

Something we never thought possible.