What Is A Father Figure?

Introduction

Last year I wrote a story for the Vocal "Dads Are No Joke" Challenge which you can read here. I thought it was appropriate for this challenge as well but you can read it here and see what you think.

The Prompt

Write a reflective essay exploring the role your father or a father figure has played in shaping your identity, and the lesson they imparted that has had the greatest impact on your life.

and you can read about it here

I thought I would write about people who have influenced me as father figures as well as my own first-hand experience of being a father.

What Is A Father Figure?

Many people can be father figures for you. They are the ones that show you how to do things and encourage you to try things.

My dad and mum helped me to be able to read before I started school aged four, so my mum was as much a "father figure" as my dad because the shaped me, encouraged me, cared for me and turned me into a decent human being.

I lost my mum in 1990, but think about her every day, and still speak to my dad a couple of times a week and get to see him whenever I can. Unfortunately, he refuses to learn how to use his phone, even though he loves our video calls whenever we manage to get one together.

I know many people whose fathers were anything but good, but I got lucky, my dad learned what not to be like as my grandad on his side was a particularly spiteful character that I wrote about below.

The thing is a good father, well a good person, learns from bad experiences and then protects their children and people for whom they are a father figure for by caring for them and encouraging them.

It's not only that but they converse with them, socialise with them, and as the children get older they never stop being your children but they become friends.

I will never forget when my youngest daughter, Kirsty, asked me for CDs by Rage Against The Machine and The Pixies for her birthday and I thought "I must be doing something right".

Juliet, my oldest daughter, has more mainstream tastes such as Meatloaf but they both love The Rocky Horror Picture Show and no doubt my granddaughter Alexis Leia will be introduced to that at some point.

My father figures are more than just my dad and Fiona's dad who we lost two years ago, was just an amazing conversationalist and a perfect example of a wonderful human being. Fiona and her brother Ewan loved him so much and I always say that children are a reflection of their parents and they turned out brilliantly.

I always loved meeting Jim and he told stories of football, his teaching career and the many people he had met and was acquainted with. He was always a joy to be with and talk with and we are looking to publish his memoirs soon.

I wrote this poem to remember him by

There are many others who care for me and encourage me and are there for me when things are not going well and these are all father figures as far as I am concerned.

As I am now sixty-five years old, sometimes people I see as father figures are actually younger than me, but that is probably because I still act and feel that I am about fifteen.

My great aunt Vera was married to a cockney, my great uncle Bill, and he was a great guy but I could never understand a word he said when we went to visit at their townhouse in Battersea, in my dad's transit van. Bill was another father figure.

Vera once said when your children grow up they stop being your children and become your friends. I don't quite subscribe to that because they are still your children but they are your friends as well, but I know what she meant.

Conclusion

So that's a few of the father figures in my life who have helped shape me to hopefully be a good human being.