I Know, I've been there

Well everyone it's July 1st and you know what that means, a post about Men's Mental Health is late because Men's Mental Health Month is June. Kidding. Actually the timing of this post was intentional because let's face it, Men's Mental Health Month is overshadowed by Pride month which isn't necessarily a bad thing as the LGBT community both deserve visibility and are fantastic at expressing their pride, I mean just look at all the Pride parades and how fun they get.

So this post was made today for two reasons, 1. to stand out from pride month and 2. to show that men's mental health is a year round 24/7 issue.

I don't know if this is considered trauma dumping but after thinking about what to write for men's mental health month I decided that instead of trying to bring attention to it through statistics, because we've all seen those and if you haven't look them up, they're not great, I will instead be trying to reassure any man on here who needs it that he's not alone through this following list of experiences.

This list is by no means a comprehensive one, but rather a compiling of experiences that either I have gone through or that I know my male friends have gone through, the intention being to show other guys that we go through similar experiences and that they shouldn't be afraid to talk about them because odds are their friends have experienced these same things. Whether or not the experience is mine I will be using "I" as the main pronoun to remain consistent.

So officially starting off I want you all to know that I know, I've been there.

I've been told I'm not a man or not manly if I cry

I've felt others love be conditional based on what I can do or provide and if I could no longer do or provide I'm left to myself.

I've felt a parent care more about me doing something than me possibly being injured

I've been told to just "man up" and do something when I was experiencing high levels of fear or anxiety

I've been emotionally and physically abused by my female significant other and told that I need to fix my ways if I didn't want that to happen. (Did I need to change? yes, but that shouldn't excuse the abuse.

I've had girls pretend and lie to me that they either liked me or wanted to date me just for kicks.

I've seen the media tell stories of men who commit actual crimes, such as SA, but get let off because either "they have a bright future ahead of them this shouldn't ruin it" or "boys will be boys", and feel terrible about that because now, that's not who we are or what we should be. Letting people like that off easy makes every guy seem like they could and would try to get away with that which shouldn't happen because that builds fear towards those of us who are nothing like that.

I've been told I'm not a man because my muscles aren't that big or because my hobbies are different than others.

I've spent nights in bed crying to myself because I knew if someone else saw me they'd laugh, tell me to stop, and/or just ignore me.

My value has been questioned because I'm not good at sports and don't find them interesting to watch at home.

My ADHD was written off as just "being an overactive/energetic kid" which caused some of my grades to suffer.

Trying to have heart to hearts with my male friends or family is difficult because they too have been told to keep their emotions and affection for others in check

I've missed out on chances of talking to women I'm interested in because my nerves get the better of me and society has conditioned itself into believing it has to be men to make the first move or show interest first

I've been harshly insulted and told it shouldn't matter to me because I'm a man.

Again this isn't a complete list, but if you're reading this and you're a man just know others go through the same thing you do, you can talk about, I know, I've been there.