You Can't Run Faster Than The Universe

Today, I woke up feeling tired...fatigued, noticeably; and honestly, usually I push through it, to "achieve", but, today my body showed me where the pain was, and maybe more importantly, where I needed to change.

True change, which was, to sit in silence, honor the pain and release it, but if I'm being real, I was avoiding it with work.

See, I realized that getting up and pretending my knee doesn't hurt and pushing through a run is not health...

....and I also realized pretending my entire body isn't sore up to my eyes, isn't wealth, and that forcing myself to feel and be what I'm not, isn't peace.

So, I decided to "just be".

"I'll be." I said to myself. "Today, I will allow myself to be....I'll just be."

As I slowly walked downstairs and strolled into the kitchen, I walked passed multiple messes, the messes that always got my attention first; the messes I always straightened up right away, the messes I wouldn't dare let anyone see, nevermind let "lay around" - the messes I always cleaned. The messes that kept me from starting my actual day. But, no, not today. Today, I needed to just be. So even though this took everything in me not to "fix" or "arrange" or "correct" and "perfect" - I walked away. I walked away from the mess, but on a deeper level, I walked away from the need to be perfect all the time.

I walked by the mess, not feeling my best and still slightly driving myself insane with thoughts of feeling "unorganized" "unclean" and "not productive" and as I fought those feelings, I began to journal....and maybe even more honestly, I started to cry because I couldn't just "get up and go" like I do every morning.

I was tired, I've been tired and it was time to face it.

This was the first time in years, I let myself take a break.

I was exhausted and I was sore from the "go".

That "go-go-go" mentality that had kept me from enjoying the relaxing part of life. That's when I knew there would be no run today and I was dissappointed. My weird "challenges to self" are mine to make and I never skip. I never skip on promise to myself. But, today, I knew I needed a break or I might actually break and I knew it was time to break open what I was ignoring.

I think we've all had those days that we just push through "the day" for multip;le days, sometimes weeks or even years and we ignore, and we fight through the pain and I think those are the days that you would've had your REAL breakthrough. No, not your physical breakthrough. Maybe not your best "time" or your fastest "run" - but, you may have noticed something shift within you. You may have met the real you. The otherside of you, that just needs to relax sometimes, the parts of yourself that aren't easy to get along with or easy to accept.

As I sat in the window writing, I began to lean into my blessings, and I realized that there is also beauty and so much life in the "slow".

In the flow.

So, I wrote.

I wrote what I was grateful for, I recited some positive affirmations and I leaned into what made me feel good and what didn't.

As much as I dislike sitting, I realized the sun is good. Reading a book was good, journaling, that all feels good. Water feels best. I surprisingly even liked my tea over my coffee; and even though I felt fatigued, I knew that the there was a lightness that still shined within me, reminding me, yes, there's enough time to sit and have tea with "just me". That I can "just be''. That I'm allowed to "take a knee" sort of speak.

And that's when I got my epiphany: Maybe these moments we don't flee or can't flee (hello Pandemic), are the moments the Universe wants us to just be.

Just be.

Not flee.

But, just simply BE.

Here and now.

No agenda.

No rules.

No to-do's.

Maybe in this space of "slowing down" there's a word or a noun.

Maybe in this space of nothing, you find everything.

Maybe the universe points out a word or a sound, you would've missed otherwise; had you been "rushing" or in my case, "running". Maybe I would've missed the number 77, the train bells in the distance that sounded like deja vu or the look on my fiance's face as I handed him his coffee this morning.

My life.

Maybe I would've continued to miss the magic of my life, had I kept "running"- by getting up and constantly "doing".

I realized, my actual life are THOSE moments.

The little seemingly insignificant captures of time, that one day you'll wish you could rewind and play over and over again.

The look on your spouses face, the sun peaking through the window, the moment driving with your mom in the car, watching your dad fix something in your first home, feeling a little hand grab yours in the store and looking down at your nephew's five year old face.

Those moments, are my life.

Maybe I would've forgotten to appreciate them. Had I kept running from one "to-do", to the next, from one goal to another, like my life is some checklist.

Maybe I would've forgotten the sun shining on the pages of my journal as I wrote what I was grateful for, maybe I would've forgotten that if I just picked my head up out of the words I was scribbling down, that I would realize my life is here and now. All around me. Right now.

Here and now.

And, it made me realize that sometimes, we need to slow down in order to heal and align.

It's not necessarily a drastic amount of time. Sometimes, it's just a moment. A moment with a higher power. A moment of silence. A moment of truth, that will free you. So, what pains you today? What was paining me? I knew it couldn't just be my knee. So I searched deep, and I found my roots, like a tree. And my roots cried for THAT release.

Release from worry. Release from fear. Release from perfectionism. And I let myself go there and I let myself release those "needs" in order to feel free again.

In order to feel like, me, again.

By letting myself feel to the root and be okay with not being perfect everyday. And instead of running, I sat. And, I sat.... because I knew I needed to sit, maybe for a long time, but I also knew there would be something in that silence - and I wasn't sure if I was ready to go to the root - in fact, I was kind of afraid of it. My roots scared me. Slowing down scared me. Not having a timeline or a plan was scary, the lack of "security" scared me and the "unknown" REALLY scared me.

That day, that day that I "sat" in silence with my pain. I healed more than just my throbbing knee, I also healed parts of myself that wouldn't allow to come to the surface for fear. But I can tell you, that when you face your fears, you see, there was nothing really there to fear at all.

For the longest time, I wouldn't allow my truth or allow myself to BE myself, to "break the rules" because anything less than perfection was not acceptable and I constantly rejected the parts of myself that were begging to just "be".

So for me, to heal really meant to "heel" - quite literally, I began to slow down to the Universal speed.

I stopped running faster than a higher power, faster than the universe, faster than what was meant for me; faster than divine timing. Because it wasn't possible to override destiny.

From this experience, I think this is where healing really begins when you can seize the momentum of your energy in the moment by just allowing the moment to "be" and allow the energy to flow through you; no matter what it may be. A bad knee, a slight pain in your lower back, a morning of "I've had it", a moment of sadness, maybe even madness, maybe instead of running, instead of reacting, instead of "reaching" and "pushing", we just lean - maybe when we just need to lean into it, lean into worry, lean into doubt, lean into fear and sit for a moment. Maybe we just "kneel" with our truth, or more like “heel” beside a higher power.

Maybe we decide that it's better to keep pace with the Universe's healing light and energy and realize that there's no need to run faster than divine timing.

Because, the truth is, you can't run faster than divine timing.

And there’s no need to drive or run faster through life because you will always arrive precisely on time.

Today, I learned the valuable lesson of allowing things to unfold in divine timing and to allow yourself the balance of slowing down when you really need it.

After all, it’s in the slowing down and “keeping pace” that we can actually hear what the universe has to say.

This week, the universe taught me to "just be" and that no, there's no fear in reality, and there's no fear when I can just believe in that the universe is within me, working through me to help me succeed in being, just me. Because, that's all you have to be.

You just have to simply, be.

Namaste friends! This was a truly personal post, but if you loved this article and you're loving the honesty/positive vibes, check out my podcast and YouTube channel for daily inspiration, motivation, positive energy and SOUL much more xox - Chelsea Swift Is Your Spirit Animal