What is the meaning of life?

Take a breath. Right now. Feel the air rush into your lungs, your body energized with life force. Feel every cell in your body being nurtured and fed by this tiny little particle called oxygen, achieved entirely by the miracle that is the human body; that thing that makes everything you have done and ever will do possible. If you stopped breathing, everything would be gone, everything would go dark, in just 3 minutes. Just like that. We would cease to be. As you exhale, be thankful for what that breath gives you; life.

When I was a young, fresh human, I never cared about the meaning of life. I just... lived, blissfully unaware of life's true struggles and complications. My parents fed me, clothed me, made every decision for me. I was one of the lucky ones. I had food, a cozy home, and a loving family.

Then, as I grew older, I became curious, and I began to wonder:

What's this whole thing really about? Why are we here?

Is life real? Does consciousness create reality? Are we living in a simulation? Are we the only life in the Universe? Does God exist? Are we gods? Are feelings real? Why do we feel? Is love real? Can I trust love? Can I trust anyone? Can I trust myself? What career path should I take? What should I eat for lunch? Do animals have souls? Do humans have souls? How long is "now"? Are cephalopods aliens? How many cats do I need to pull me to work in a sled? Who is the person in the world with the longest name? (Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff Sr.) Do they like their name or do they hate it? What does a lake look like upside-down from a thousand feet up? Is Elon Musk from the future? If you try to fail, but succeed, which one did you do? Is there such a thing as free will? What is my true purpose?

Why do I even exist?

These days, this thought keeps me up at night. This one question, this one pervasive idea is the source of crippling anxiety and depression, confusion and anger for why life can't be simpler and more joyful for all beings, and begs me to ask; what does it mean to truly express yourself and your life's purpose in this most perplexing world?

"Things could be so easy!" I say to myself, "if I were in charge..."

Yes, we are in fact ALL LUCKY to be living during a time of such incredible human ingenuity, engineering, and discovery. Science, health, technology, space exploration, and social structures have all gone through such radical transformations in the past 50-100 years its enough to make your head spin. Human evolution hasn't even caught up to our modern standard of living. Our brains are hit with so many different stimuli a minute, from every angle, it's no wonder more people than ever feel overwhelmed, overloaded, and exhausted in today's times. And likely, since our society is evolving faster than we as animals do, we are only going to get left further and further behind in wonderment.

With the ease to which we can produce food, buy homes, create art, travel the world, have new experiences, and consume entertainment, media, and knowledge, it has left some of us a little lazy and disconnected from the true nature and purpose of life. If society suddenly crumbled, most people would be lost.

So where does that leave us?

I was raised in the Catholic Church. I went to Catholic school for the majority of my life. It wasn't until my adolescence and early adulthood that I began to question the Church and the nature of spirituality. Putting God in a box, saying YOU MUST stand in this building to talk to God, and only through this person (a priest) is your voice heard, just seemed, very limiting for a being that supposedly is infinitely loving and powerful. Keep in mind, these are merely my personal beliefs. I think whatever and however you feel connected to God, you should do that. And if you're one of those people that don't even believe in a god of any type, hey good for you! You do you, boo.

These days, my definition of God has evolved to a much different picture than I think most people believe he or she is. You could use any number of words in place of God, if this word doesn't ring true to you; Father. Creator. Universe. Source. Ohm. Allah. Jehovah. Brahma. Yahweh. Vishnu. Tianzhu. It doesn't matter. Throw out whatever you don't like, and take what serves you. I believe the all-mighty creator did create us for a reason; to create. But, create what?

Joy. Happiness. Relationships. Human connection. Animal connection. Connection to nature. Connection to ourselves. Our deepest purpose. Our most fulfilling life. God wants us to be fulfilled.

Now I'm not trying to get preachy here, by any means. I live my life by the scientific method, and science is at a complete loss to prove any type of god or spirituality, or even a soul, actually exists. As far as I am concerned, we're no more than walking meat popsicles, a bag of particles bumping around into other particles, having this physical experience we call "life." No understanding of where we come from, why time only seems to go forward. All we know is: We're born, we breathe, we eat, we shit, we sleep, we live, we love, and we die.

But for me, I can't shake this feeling like there IS something more than just my body and brain. There is more to me, more to you, than just our meat suits. I'm not sure what that is, but even just based on Newton's First Law of Thermodynamics, energy cannot be created or destroyed. Energy can only be converted from one form to another. Nothing is ever lost. So, it seems obvious that "we" have to come from somewhere. And when we die, we have to go somewhere. We don't just stop existing.

So then. What does this all mean? What do we do with all of this? How do we deal with the fact that one day we will die? You and everyone you know will eventually be dead and gone. Our ego would tell us that we have to leave some kind of legacy, either by reproducing, or creating some business or social empire that would remain around long after we have departed this great Earth. And while on some level I agree (I have an ego too, after all) I'm not sure this is quite the point of everything.

I have loved, very deeply, over and over, and gotten crushed, over and over. I have been betrayed, lied to, stolen from, misunderstood, laughed at, and physically abused. I have deep friendships and relationships, suffered great loss, endured through crushing loneliness, agonized over wasted time and energy, questioned what my true purpose is, and even at times, been pushed right to the brink, where I wasn't sure I could go on another day, and thought about just bringing everything to it's premature end. And yet, I'm still here.

Why?

Frankly, I'm still not sure. I think, on some level. There is no clear point to life. If you're here looking for some magical answer, I'm sorry to disappoint you. There isn't one. There's no secret that everyone else knows that is the key to ultimate joy and total success in life. Everyone is just as in the dark as everyone else.

But, before you go and off yourself, might I suggest another angle. An alternative way to look at things.

Life is whatever we want it to be. Without any one preset huge profound predetermined purpose to being alive, life can be whatever we want. There are no shoulds.

The hardest part is shaking free all of the expectations both ourselves and others put on us. Thinking we are supposed to be wealthy, we're supposed to be sexy, we're supposed to be doctors or lawyers, we're supposed to have kids or pets, be famous, change the world. Let all of that go. Be whatever you want. Because you can.

But mostly, just be happy. I know some days it takes more work than others. It can be easier to just be sad. But what kind of life does this create? Be thankful for everything you have, no matter how much or little that is. Love your fellow human, regardless of differences. Regardless of understanding or agreeing with each other. We're stronger together than apart. Be thankful for life itself. Because just as easily as you are here, living, having this experience, you could not be here. You could not exist.

So go forth. Exist. Create. Express yourself. Communicate with others. Love.

And maybe sometime, somewhere, I'll see you, and smile, and be grateful that any of us have been given this gift, at all.