We Really Shouldn't Be Doing This

When I tried to find a picture of an elderly couple experiencing a grand adventure, there were none to be found on Unsplash . Searching "elderly couple" showed people sitting on benches watching life. A search of images using "adventure" displays youth skydiving, swimming, racing, and enjoying life. It's time elderly people break the paradigm and create our own adventures.

I always had creative ideas for great adventures, but was reeled in with a stern look. My husband would roll his eyes and make a comment about the sanity of what I wanted to do. Now he smirks and says why not?

Early in our dating period on a Saturday night, I wanted to drive to the natural hot spring for late night soak. Driving 1.5 hour on curved mountain roads in the dark added to the adventure. Randy reminded me of all the dangers and the list was quite long. Only three years older than me, he sounded like an old man at the age 22. 

With a shrug, I announced my intention to go with a friend with or without him. Thirty minutes later we were on our way - Randy drove. Our experience under the stars in the mountain hot springs, remains one of my favorite memories. 

As we have aged, now in our 60's, our adventures have amassed a mountain of memories. For the first 30 years of marriage, finances were tight but we found a way to make it happen and defined IT as any experience that brought us joy. 

I remember while dating, we would camp in a tent. On one trip, Randy arrived at the campgrounds before me and set up his tent. By the time my friend and I arrived, I was so tired after a long week that the idea of setting up the tent seemed unnecessary. I simply rolled up in the tent and went to sleep. Randy shook his head and climbed into his sleeping bag on the other side of the campfire.

We moved from a tent to a camper, progressed to a small class C motorhome and eventually bought the family cabin that we now call home. At the time we questioned if the cabin purchase was sound financially but have never regretted a moment of our time with nature. 

Oh to be young and naïve again. NOT!

Old age has its advantages 

There are fewer restriction because we don't have to worry about what people think, the long term outcomes or what our parents will think. We are the elders that others are trying to impress. At 60+ the long term is shorter than it once was and our parents are deceased. 

I embrace the fact that my body will never be what it once was. It hurts to sit at the computer and type. Stacking wood for the winter fire creates pain in once undiscovered places. Golfing challenges resistant muscles. However, if I sit still for very long, my back refuses to bend, my hip aches, and standing up from the chair causes me to whimper. So, I type, stack wood, golf and go for long walks. I've learned to embrace the discomfort as evidence that I am a vibrant, active, older woman.

The scale no longer dictates my life. I don't have to impress my husband - he's stuck around for 40+ years so I don't think he is going anywhere now. In fact, he claims it would be too much work to train a new woman. We eat donuts for breakfast at least once a week, ice cream in the evening more often that I should admit and a balance it with an early afternoon meal that we call linner, lunch and dinner combined. 

Next week, we will join a group of retired friends on a four-wheeler ride through the mountains. We have reservation at a motel in a small town by the river and will return home the next day. Last week, we rode our Harleys a hundred miles to visit a natural hot springs - something we haven't done since we were young and carefree. 

Last year we planned a cross-country trip to see the New Hampshire fall colors. We canceled it when threatened by violence, global warming and a recession forecasting high gas prices. Later this year, we will be taking this trip even with the risk of active thunderstorms, hurricanes, severe heat and of course, still high gas prices. 

Do we worry? Not really. Sure there is always something to worry about, but if we allow our concerns to control our life, we will end up sitting in the recliner watching Matlock and miss the pleasure of donuts, ice cream, and travel. At the end of each day we will still be tired, sore, and all the same concerns will still exist.

My advice to older people close to or living through retirement is to identify what brings you joy and do it.