Uncertainty right now

Just over three weeks of the UK being on lock-down and I’ve lost count of the days.

There is a lot of uncertainty right now, the world has changed, people are blaming the government, the government is blaming china, china is blaming the US army, Donald trump referred to it as the Chinese virus, but under that all it’s the general public that its really effected.

People are losing their jobs, their income, work has dried up for others, and we can’t go down to the pub for a pint and have a moan over a game of darts. Single parents have no escape, people locked away with their abusive partners, kids taken away from their schools and friends.

The world has changed and no one has any idea of what’s going to happen next, most are trying to get on with things as best they can, because at the end of the day, it is what it is, we can’t change it, we can only flow alongside of the tide and find some kind positive in the days that lay ahead.

But its also important to let all that negativity out, those feelings we are trying so hard to repress deep down, its important to let it all rise to the surface. That grief, the anxiety, the pain and that overwhelming fear and stress, we have to let is all rise up and move through our bodies so we can scream, shout and cry, because we need to do that, this pandemic has taken away so much and we need to grieve and take that on board, its taken everything from our jobs, our families, even the way to the shop has changed, and we should be angry about that, not angry at the government or healthcare, but at this virus in the first place.

Its been nearly been four weeks since the prime minster announced that the new measures, were being introduced to put the UK on a state of lock-down, that was the 23rd of march with no clear end in sight and we should be angry.

I know so many people (women) who have told me that they had a cry that morning, or screamed into the pillows at night and felt that they were being silly for crying for something so out of their control, yes lock-down is out of their control, but their feelings towards it is in their control. You control the way you act to this.

I’ve cried a few times over the first few weeks, I’m such a sociable person, being told I can’t give my family or a friend a hug was like cutting of my hands and telling me to paint, I can’t do it and it kills me every day that I can’t hug my pregnant daughter and tell her that everything is going to be okay but, It’s something I have had to learn to cope with. I’ve cried over that and over things I have no idea why, but I have allowed the tears to flow and never judged myself for it, didn’t tell myself that I was being silly, I let them flow just like the rain because the reason behind them didn’t matter, I didn’t need to pick myself apart and examine each tear because it doesn’t matter, not to me or anyone else.

When we let ourselves feel the pain we learn to release it so that the anxiety and pain doesn’t start to bubble under the surface and turns you into a bag of nerves, we need to create a doorway so it can escape to freedom

And its that freedom that we create that no one else can take away, yes things are going to change, yes nothing is ever going to be the same, the world has changed, but your going to be okay, I’m going to be okay and we will all learn that sometimes its okay not to be okay with this. We should be angry with this, for everything that has been taken away.

No end to this in sight and that’s what really worrying a lot of people, the fact that we are only slowing the spread of covid-19, that’s the wording that is being used, slowing the spread. Lifting the current measures too soon could threaten a second peak of the virus which off course would increase the number of deaths and already we have seen just over 14.000. one person was too many, when this started, we all looked towards china and how many they had lost, never did we think it would get this high this fast.

In the end, we face this new global crisis together, the people on one side and the government on the other. It’s important to feel the pain of it all, so we can move forward from it and maybe, we will find ourselves in a kinder world because of it.

Stay safe.