Top Slang of '17
Update your coolness and vocab by adding the newest slang terms of 2017.
Whenever I imagine an older person trying to be cool I envision someone saying "yo yo yo" while they flail and cross their arms like a rapper from the 80's. Except instead of looking like a cool ass hip hop artist they look more like someone having a fit and sounding like a total dweeb. OK, maybe that's just me since that is exactly what my father did while I was growing up. My friends would come over, mostly dressed in XXL t-shirts and Phat Farm jeans on, and there would be my dad Yo Yo Yo'n and arm seizuring all up in their face. And never, not once, did any one of those friends say, "Damn your dad is cool".
So as I approach my early (to mid) thirties I find it imperative to stay as cool as I possibly can for as long as I can. Sadly when it comes to the vocabulary of our future leaders, I am noticing more and more that I am months behind new words, text acronyms, and dance trends. However, thanks to reliable sources like my niece and nephew, urban dictionary, and of course the plethora of information I gain from watching MTV, I am able to keep somewhat up to date (and yes I still tune into MTV even at the fine age of 33, Teen Mom for life yo)! Without these outlets I would of had no idea how to do the Dab or what the hell the acronym FOH (f*uck Outta Here) stood for.
Well no more embarrassing moments for this chick because after writing this piece I now have the knowledge of an 18-year-old and I'm about to hook you up too. Like the Notorious B.I.G. said, "If you don't know, now you know." See, I really am cool!
GOAT
Meaning: acronym for Greatest Of All Time. Used in a sentence: Yo, that party was GOAT bro. My opinion: If I ever hear someone tell me what I did was GOAT, I'm pretty sure I'll punch them in the face. Sorry.
Hundo P
Meaning: 100%. Used in a sentence: I'm a Hundo P down for a smoothie girl. My opinion: Well seeing that it took me five minutes to actually use that in a sentence, I am not going to waste another second on this ridiculousness.
JOMO
Meaning: acronym for Joy Of Missing Out. Used in a sentence: I'm experiencing major JOMO right now. My opinion: Just when I started using FOMO they have to go switching it up. So basically every time my husband gets stuck with the super shitty diaper thanks to my daughter, I should run around saying JOMO! JOMO! JOMO!
Think Piece
Meaning: rather than having a slutty chick on the side (side piece) you have a smart girl on the side (think piece). Used in a sentence: That girl so smart, I'm gonna make her my think piece. My opinion: Any "piece" he has means he is a cheater, so take your cheatin' ass and your stupid slang and get lost.
Wishbone
Meaning: the guy you want to date/hook up with, his penis. Used in a sentence: I can't wait to get me some of that wishbone. My opinion: I love everything about this word and hope it becomes as popular as bootylicious.
Shark Week
Meaning: a girl's menstrual cycle. Used in a sentence: I'm not leaving the house, it's Shark Week. My opinion: While there could be some confusion during actual Shark Week, I am not opposed to this reference.
Ship
Meaning: relationship. I refuse to put this into a sentence because I cannot accept the fact that people are actually using this. It sounds asinine.
Borungry
Meaning: bored and hungry. In a sentence: I'm so borungry I could cry. My opinion: Why couldn't we just stop at hangry which is actually funny why did we have to go and combine two words that sound nothing alike and try it again? I know why, because some people are just stupumb. Not sure what that means? You wouldn't because I just made it up, it means stupid & dumb.
Logging Out
Meaning: to take a poop. In a sentence: I have to call you back mom I'm logging out. My opinion: Logging out will forever remind me of my dial up AOL account I had in 1998. A time where in order to use my phone I had to log out of my inappropriate chat group. So to use it instead of pooping or shitting just seems wrong and disrespectful to my youth.
Aesthetic
Meaning: to be cool or admired. In a sentence: The new Michael Kors clutch is so aesthetic. My opinion: Ughhhhh, WHY! Why must you take perfectly good words like COOL and even DOPE and replace it with something so out of context. That is not how aesthetic should be used and chances are if you say aesthetic you are NOT aesthetic. Sorry, boo!
About the Creator
Jus L'amore
Sometimes offensive yet mostly sweet. Always honest and often vulgar. I'm a wife, MILF, and everyone's homey. From trends and sex to mom life and fitness, I tell it how it is and not how it should be.
Keep reading
More stories from Jus L'amore and writers in Longevity and other communities.
Simple Ways to Avoid Weight Gain
Let's be honest, we can read every article claiming to have the quickest workout routine, fastest weight loss diet, and newest drug on the market, but a lot of the time reading these articles is where it ends. Sometimes it’s nice to think and say you’re going to do something but you simply never follow through. It could be due to a busy schedule or lack of motivation but whatever the reason is behind putting the brakes on getting in shape, it’s ok and it happens to all of us at one time or another. Everyone has a time where we don't want to or can't eat according to a diet plan or don't have the time to hit the gym five days a week. However, just because you’re not being overly proactive about eating healthy and getting in shape doesn't mean you should just throw all your previous hard work away or do whatever you want and hope for the best. Truth be told, with a mentality like that you're asking to gain 10 pounds and feel terrible about it. So do yourself a favor while you’re on this healthy hiatus; Put down the serious fitness magazine and drill these tips into your head. They are simple, require very little motivation, and while they may not help you LOSE a lot of weight they will certainly assist you in NOT GAINING any pounds either!
By Jus L'amore8 years ago in Longevity
Pints & Parkruns: Jubilee, Spennymoor
If MC Escher created a parkrun, it might look a bit like Jubilee. Based in a compact – but surprisingly lovely – park in the small County Durham town of Spennymoor, it twists and turns its way up repeated hills. Although basic physics says it must come down again, somehow this route never feels like it gives runners a proper descent.
By Andy Potts7 days ago in Longevity
How to Bake a Potato Perfectly Every Time
Whether you're eating them simply with a sprinkle of salt and pepper, stuffing them with spinach and feta, or loading them up with sour cream, cheese, green onions and more, baked potatoes are a satisfying and versatile meal. Learn how to make baked potatoes, including how to cook them in the oven, air fryer and more. Note that, for each method, times are an approximation. Based on the size of your potatoes and your specific equipment, your potatoes may cook a few minutes faster or they may need a few minutes more than suggested here.
By Kaly Johnes4 days ago in Longevity
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.