The Value That Comes With Imperfection

Think about the feeling of paranoia one has who’s just driven a brand new, flawless car off the lot or has just started to use the latest, pristine iPhone straight from the box. When they inevitably get their first scratch, initial disappointment can soon give way to a broader feeling of relief and contentment.

So What exactly is going on here? Why is imperfection somewhat good? There isn’t a great word in the English language to describe this phenomenon. Instead, our best entry point for understanding the psychology of imperfection is visiting the Japanese concept of Wabi-sabi

The Concept of Wabi-Sabi

Wabi-sabi is a philosophy and aesthetic that centers around an appreciation of imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness. It’s a complex concept, deeply embedded within Japanese culture, and does not admit to an easy, concrete definition. It’s about the beauty of imperfection, It can be as simple as appreciating the beauty of nature and being more mindful of the things around you — and then finding ways to incorporate those lessons into your own life. The concept originated in Japan, where monks taught that everything has value because they were able to see its true essence (sound familiar?).

In Japanese art and culture wabi-sabi is seen as a reflection of the natural world: things are always changing and evolving, so there’s no reason for us to try too hard to make them perfect. This idea has been adopted in interior design — with people embracing rustic materials like wood, stone, and metal instead of sleek plastic — but it also describes an approach to living more generally: don’t try too hard; accept what comes your way; let go of expectations for perfection because life isn’t perfect anyway!

“Sometimes strings break. And when a string breaks at the beginning of the performance, I think I’m in heaven. After the string breaks, everybody gasps. You go backstage and put on the new string. And because something untoward has happened, for the rest of the evening, you can do no wrong.”

YO-YO MA

Kintsugi

The most classic example of wabi-sabi is kintsugi, the centuries-old Japanese art of repairing tea bowls. Typically, gluing the pieces of broken pottery back together again means using an invisible adhesive and then painting over the cracks to make them look new again. Kintsugi takes the opposite approach. Instead of trying to hide the imperfection, it highlights it. The craft uses a gold lacquer adhesive to adhere the broken pieces together.

The Challenging Psychology of Perfection

In any discipline, “perfect” is the ultimate achievement. From getting the perfect score on a test to getting the perfect job, spouse, or generally living “the perfect life”. Clearly, though, it comes with challenges. That these ideals are rarely achieved is not the issue. The true difficulty comes when it is achieved. Its attainment comes with the immediate pressure to maintain it. Anything that rises to this lofty, unblemished position, almost by definition, has nowhere to go but down.

The Connection of Wabi-Sabi to Imperfection

The concept of wabi-sabi provides an alternative perspective that comes some way in helping grapple with this. It recognizes that everything is in constant flux. Any attainment of static perfection is artificial, and its pursuit will inevitably lead to dissatisfaction. Instead, an acceptance, and even a celebration, of imperfection can liberate us from this self-imposed strain.

The Beauty of life is in its Simplicity

Slowing down is the antidote to living in a rhythm of rush- When you slow down, you begin creating the space for you to pause and reflect, to wonder and ask questions. You naturally become more present. Most people hit total burnout because they were moving too fast and never slowed down to carve out the mental and emotional space to realize their self-sabotaging behavior.

Simplifying your life is the antidote to living a complex one- Decluttering is an integral part of the journey to growth and change. Letting go of what no longer serves you is how you allow room for what will.

Be Content

Our obsession with seeking happiness has blinded us to what happiness actually is: An emotion.

On a 17th-century tsukubai (water basin) stone at the Ryoanji Temple in Kyoto, there’s an ancient inscription — “ware tada taru wo shiru,” which means “I only know contentment.”

To be content with what you have and where you are is to be grateful. To be content with what you have and where you are, while working toward what you want, and fully trusting that you can achieve it, is to be intentional. And through gratitude, intention, and action, you find happiness.

If you loved this, consider subscribing and following me for awesome content.