The Lesson My Lipoma Taught Me

When most people think of body art, including me, they think of tattoos and in some cases, piercings. I do not have any tattoos as I am more of a piercings gal, but this could also be due to my cowardice since I have a fear of needles. I mean I barely got through my flu shot the other day. However, the body art that is dearest to me isn’t any of the holes I’ve added to my body but rather one that became a part of me three years ago.

In 2017, after another intense workout, my friend, Peta-Gaye and I were changing out of our gym wear and getting ready to head home. That is when she noticed a lump on my back that I was not aware existed. How did I not see this, and I see myself naked EVERY DAY? I guess in all fairness, I do see my front half more than I see the back. Of course, this discovery supercharged my paranoia, and a few days later, I headed to the doctor where I was diagnosed with having a lipoma. I had no clue what that was so you can imagine how much I freaked out. Luckily, the lipoma was benign and elective surgery was an option but not necessary. Since there was a chance that the lipoma could grow exponentially, I opted to do the surgery.

At the time, I was working six days per week at a hotel and occasionally had sixteen-hour shifts. We were also short-staffed, and if I chose to do the surgery, I could have only gotten one extra day off. This day off was in addition to my weekly scheduled day off and one of those days would be the day I’d do the surgery. I agreed to take only two days for the surgery and recovery time. I had no vacation time left and didn’t want to wait until the next fiscal year and risk the lipoma growing. I also did not want to be replaced so I decided to sacrifice any additional downtime I’d require.

On the day of my surgery, Peta-Gaye accompanied me to the hospital. I went into the operation room, got the lipoma removed and after being observed for a while was sent home. We then went to have a sushi feast post-surgery. I was high off the anaesthesia and feeling pretty darn good. That is until the anaesthesia wore off later that night and the excruciating pain started. I tried pain killers, but those only offered temporary relief. I spent my second day off laying in bed, but the pain refused to subside. That night, sleep evaded me, as it refused to coexist with my agony.

The next day, I woke up and got dressed for work with tears in my eyes. I was miserable and exhausted but duty called, and so I hauled myself to work. Whenever I got a chance, I’d sit in my office with the door locked and the lights off so I could sob silently. However, as the Duty Manager at this hotel, it was my job to smile and address all guest complaints as they arose. So, that is what I did that day and on subsequent days. After all, work was my priority, and my personal life should never interfere with this. Jet Li described my situation perfectly, but it took me a while to come to this realisation on my own.

"You are killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead. Take care of yourself." -Jet Li

During my harrowing recovery process, I learnt a few things about myself, including my indubitable devotion to my career, even at the expense of my well-being. My job was my identity, and I was unable to set any boundaries with regards to work-life balance. This experience was truly an eye-opener that my priorities were not in order. I needed to shift my focus to caring for myself more in order to improve my quality of life. My scar served as my lifelong reminder of this fact.

So, what were some of the things I did to change my mindset:

1. I took sick days when I really needed them. Presenteeism became a thing of the past.

2. Said no to overtime shifts if I was experiencing burnout.

3. Managed my time through the use of schedules and did not take work home with me.

4. Allocated daily "me time" during which I did things I love, such as cooking and indulging in self-care activities.

5. Genuinely enjoyed days off and vacation instead of constantly checking emails and thinking of work.

6. Scheduled time with friends and family that I neglected when I was buried in work.

This list is by no means exhaustive but served as the stepping stones to a transformative moment in my life.

Fast forward to March 2020, COVID-19 came on the scene, and I was mandated to work from home. Shortly after this change was implemented, the line between my personal life and professional life began to blur... again. I found myself working on projects and checking emails at midnight instead of relaxing. I was slowly slipping into old habits, and I could not help but think of the memories associated with my scar and the adverse effects of overexertion. Working from home was uncharted territory, but I was determined not to let history repeat itself.

How do I currently maintain balance while working from home:

1. At the end of my shift, I turn my computer and notifications off. I know myself. If I hear notifications, I will be tempted to run to my computer.

2. I also turn off the notification badges on my mobile mail app, so I have no way of knowing I have unopened emails unless I go searching.

3. Designate a specific section of my apartment to my work. I used to work in bed and just about everywhere in my apartment but not anymore.

4. Limit screen time after work (less time using my cell phone and watching tv) .

5. Take my lunch break and "go home" on time.

6. Go for walks after work or during my lunch breaks.

Bonus: Listen to one of my many Spotify playlists to unwind, and dance like no one is watching.

I hope these tips are useful for anyone who finds it challenging to separate their work and home lives. If you are a workaholic like me, please know that you can be committed to your job and still take care of yourself which should be your priority. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup, so take heed and take care.