Second Chances

As months fall off the calendar, healthy people can become worn down by the disappointments of life. Sluggishness busyness replaces vigorous activities. Stress--whether financial, relational, professional or otherwise--discreetly poisons the body. Despondency fogs the mind and shackles ambition. Appetites crave all the wrong copes, and a diminished will easily surrenders. This describes my personal descent.

Things were not always this way.

I grew up with a healthy body and confident mind. My schedule was alway full of productive activities both for my body and my soul. For decades I did not fully appreciate the strong health that I enjoyed. That is, until I let it slip away.

Not until my mid 30’s did I ever have to contend with clinical depression. It wasn’t until age 40 that I started to experience physical ailments like glandular issues. I’m happily married with two kids, but the symptoms of declining health began to affect my ability to be a good husband and father.

My childhood environment was stable, promoting good emotional health. I was active in sports regularly playing soccer, basketball, and mixed martial arts, promoting good physical health. But the tyranny of the urgent slowly stole my life away from me. My responsibilities in adulthood took precedence and my self-care habits faded into oblivion.

I lost my job during the pandemic, along with my health insurance. The ironic timing is that just a few months prior when the lockdowns were first implemented was when I hit the landmark over-the-hill birthday. Combine these circumstances with my declining physical health, I was more ready for a fresh start than any other time in my life.

I don’t want to paint a morbid picture because there are many people who have had it far worse than me. I still have plenty for which to be thankful. But, if I were going to pick a “rock bottom” point in my life thus far, 2019 would be it.

My journey toward wellness and a fresh start began last summer and continues on to this very moment. Here’s what I’m doing:

Mind

I have known more than one person who became so overwhelmed by depression that they ended up taking their own lives. So as my depression increased in severity, I knew that I needed help.

Overcoming the stigma of seeing a psychiatrist for someone as stubborn and independent as myself was not easy, but I reached out and started attending sessions.They were more helpful than I anticipated. The therapist helped me understand my depression and the triggers that would set me off. More importantly, he gave me the tools to prevent dangerous spirals into the depths and actually combat the negative thoughts.

Beyond the clinical help, I am pursuing areas where self-improvement is possible. I’m reading books (okay fine, listening to audiobooks) by experts in various fields. Learning about my mind and body and how the two relate has been a game-changer for my mental health.

Body

Having been an athlete for the majority of my life, the memory of being in shape long outlives the reality of actually being in good shape. But I had let my once strong physique melt into a flabby mess. But no more excuses.

I began taking a walk each day. Rain or shine, cold or freezing, I get bundled up, leash up the dog, and trek through the neighborhood. I know this isn’t exactly P90X, but there are numerous physical (and mental) benefits associated with daily walks. Stretching the legs, circulating the blood, and breathing fresh air are all better than slouching in front of a screen.

As far as diet is concerned, I just finished a 7 day juice fast. It was not easy, but I went a whole week without eating a single meal or even taking a single bite of food despite at one point being offered some buttered popcorn out of pity by my 9 year old son. During the fast I juiced a combination of fresh fruits and vegetables and drank 2-3 per day.

The first 3 days were miserable. Not only was by body detoxing but the caffeine withdrawals from no morning coffee was excruciating. I basically had a 3 day headache which nothing could soothe. But by the fourth day I really started to feel pretty good. My thoughts were clear. Some of the glandular symptoms even started to diminish. Once the fast was completed, I have adjusted my diet going forward to be much more sensible with far less junk entering my body.

I also began incorporating the Wim Hof method of breathing techniques and cold therapy. If you’ve never heard of this method, I won’t be able to do it justice here and you’ll be better served watching him on YouTube. One video and I guarantee you’ll be fascinated. Two or three videos and you’ll likely be hooked.

In essence, this method helps forge a neurological connection between your will and the autonomic systems. With these breathing exercises, you can apparently invigorate your immune system to begin attacking inflammation and bacteria within your body. You are essentially allowing the body to do what it wants to do--heal itself.

As crazy as it sounds, it is all backed up by empirical scientific research and testing. Wim Hof is one of the most studied humans in modern medicine, and his methods are changing long-held scientific opinions.

Soul

I know not everyone who reads this will believe in God or a higher power, but I do. True wellness hits not just the mind and the body, but also the heart/soul/spirit of a person.

This meant that I needed to re-prioritize my time of centering my thoughts and intentions on connecting with God. I began praying regularly again. I began meditating. Perhaps the most difficult part was self-accepting. Being at peace with myself as I am. Even if this was a rock-bottom moment for me, I had to affirm that I am unique, and valuable. I had to remember that I was no accident, but was created for a purpose.

I don’t pretend to understand all the ways in which intentionality works, and I am no expert on the power of positive thinking. Whether you call it good vibes, or appealing to fate, I made my desires for a full and flourishing life known to the universe. Now comes the part where believing becomes receiving.

Gratitude

Ancient stoic philosophers used the phrase Memento Mori as a reminder of their own mortality. It essentially means “remember you are going to die” and they’d tell themselves this daily to help sharpen their focus and purify their priorities.

Through the pandemic and the personal challenges I was facing, 2019-2020 has been a time for me to reflect on what truly matters in life. Our lives should not be squandered. Every day is a gift. Some day, whether sooner or later, I’m going to breathe my last breath and close my eyes to this world. What awaits me on the other side? I am not sure. But my personal journey towards wellness has taught me to take nothing for granted but savor everything.

So, yes, I will get dressed up and have a nerf gun war with my son even though I’m tired. Yes, I will play cards or shoot hoops with my daughter. I want to soak up every minute I have with them.

I choose yes. I choose living life. I choose flourishing. And I’m grateful for all of it.