Putting Yourself First

Why Solitude Became My Self-care

Putting Yourself First

Life is demanding.

It's as if every single aspect of it pries away any chance of remote tranquility. The constant need to be present and functioning at all times is draining. Obviously abandoning everything to achieve this dream of a "responsibility-free life" is unrealistic. But if there's one thing that can keep someone sane, it's spending time with yourself.

Solitude can be a form of self-care to some, and understandably so. It's easy to feel guilty about wanting to take time to yourself to lay low and focus on what needs to be done. This doesn’t mean cutting off the entire world because again, that'd be hard. Taking time to focus on what calms you down and what will help you succeed is imperative to personal growth. Sometimes, people can get in the way of that—it can be friends, partners, or family. Some people need to take that step back for the benefit of their own mental health. Pointing out what's toxic and trying to spend time alone and away from that to rebuild a healthy state of mind peacefully is a sign of maturity.

What sucks about this generation is the fact that everyone expects quick responses because of social media and smartphones. People almost demand you to be present all the time whether it be through text, calls, or on social media. And often you can form the feeling of guilt for not responding and being there all the time. But you are human.

It’s insanely unhealthy to always try to be there for others, especially when all you need is time for yourself. It’s OK to turn your phone off or silence it to avoid the world for a bit. Too frequently social media can drag you down and be subconsciously addicting. Stepping back from this chaotic world and stepping into your own for a bit is vital to keeping a healthy state of mind.

Take time for yourself. Get done what you’ve been putting aside. Relax when you can. Your brain needs time to rejuvenate itself, and constantly surrounding yourself with chaos stops that from happening. Disconnect from your phone and learn to be okay with not talking to people for a bit.

Through focusing on taking time to spend by myself, I have found that I’m way more productive and I just feel better when I’m back out into the world. Again, it’s not like I spend a week by myself with no human interaction. It’s something as simple as asking my boyfriend to stay at his house for one night so I can just spend time focusing on myself. Or it could be turning down going out for a weekend to take the time to collect yourself and spend time on rejuvenating your state of mind. Without any distractions, I find myself being way more productive and motivated to finish what I start in terms of to-do lists that have been piling up.

I have also noticed that solitude has forced me to get to know myself better than I ever have. I have a deep understanding of what I demand from others and what makes me happy or anxious. I am able to separate myself from situations that are toxic because I know what that looks like after spending a peaceful time alone. I can also appreciate my relationships with others far more when I spend a bit of time by myself.

We may be busy people, but we have to keep in mind that our mental state is extremely important to pay attention to. Take care of yourself as much as you can. Love yourself. Not taking the time to focus on your mental and physical health can become a quick and vicious cycle, and it’s better to stop that by making a habit of treating yourself here and there.

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Alexyss Panfile

21 | Montclair State University | Writer

See all posts by Alexyss Panfile