Positive Effects of a Horrible Lifestyle

Things that you once thought were bad for you, can actually be good for you. But don't let that stop you from making some positive changes.

Positive Effects of a Horrible Lifestyle

Life is full of vices. If you go through your day, how many things do you do that you could probably do differently or better? Do you park as close as you can to where you need to go or do you give yourself the opportunity to take a bit of a walk? Do you purchase a candy bar from the vending machine or do you take the time to pack yourself some healthy snacks? Pick you nose when no one is watching? Pass gas when you think no one can hear or smell? So let's say that you do a whole a range of 'horrible things.' Let's say that you are the picture of 'sloth'....what would happen if you found out that some of the unhealthy things you do, could actually be pretty positive in the long term? That would probably make you feel much better about yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. So yell at your boss, put your feet up, unwrap that Twinkie and let's see how right all of your wrong doings actually are.

Eating Junk Food

Fruits and vegetables or potato chips and ice cream? Most people would choose the later. It is so much easier and comforting to grab a pint of ice cream and a spoon, curl up on the couch and go to town. High in fat, high in cholesterol, but high in taste. And ice cream is made from milk and milk is calcium and calcium is good for you. Butter is also so delicious on bread, on corn, on a spoon-if that is your thing..and, according to studies, the fat in butter helps you absorb vitamins like A,D,E and K. And what about those of us who like to hide our vegetables in thick and creamy dressing? The fat in those salad dressings also helps your body absorb the nutrients in those vegetables. Win win!

Is your junk food vice of the chocolate variety? Snickers bars have nuts in them and nuts have healthy fat. Hershey bars make everyone smile and then there is all of the scientific research that has gone into dark chocolate. Dark chocolate contains flavonoids; flavonoids are powerful anti-oxidants with anti inflammatory and immune system benefits. So even while binging on what you think is bad, it is actually good for you!

Smoking and Drinking

Imagine the scene-empty wine glasses and beer bottles strewn about. Ash trays, still smoky, overflowing with cigarette butts, the scent of tar and smoke hangs heavy in the air. If this is an everyday occurrence for you, you probably smell as badly as the room does. You might have a smokers cough and a face easily recognized at the local liquor store. But have no fear! There is a silver lining! Many studies have been done on the positive effects that a glass of red wine has on your heart. Of course there is a big difference between one or two glasses a night and one or two bottles, but let's look at the glass half full for a moment. That's right folks, studies have shown, that those individuals that drink regularly, this includes beer, wine and spirits, are less likely to develop heart-related issues. Who knew that drinking beer while playing marathon sessions of xbox could be a positive thing.

As for the sexy voice you have developed from years of smoking, and possible risk of developing lung cancer, according to Livescience.com, there are some surprisingly positive things that can come out of smoking. According to a study, smoking can lower the risk of needing knee replacement surgery. Why is this? Well, those that need this type of surgery are sometimes morbidly obese or joggers. And wouldn't you know it, a large percentage of smokers do not jog and aren't morbidly obese! It also could be because the nicotine in tobacco helps prevent cartilage and joint deterioration. Smoking also lowers the risk of obesity because nicotine is an appetite suppressant.

Sitting on the Couch

Watching television on a computer, watching television on an actual television, playing video games, using your iphone, ipad, eating, drinking, napping, reading-these are just a few of the things that you can enjoy while sitting on a couch. Or you don't have to do anything at all. The couch has become the end all and be all of the lazy man/woman's wardrobe. It can be plaid, it can be suede, leather or plain old polyester, but as long as it is comfortable, that is all that matters. You can dress it up with decorative pillows or throw those annoying pillows on the floor to make room for your guests, if you aren't too lazy to invite friends over. It is easiest to be lazy when you are sitting, or lying down. The couch is better than the bed because once you are in bed, you are going to sleep. While you are on the couch, there is still the hope that you might be getting off of the couch to do an activity, though sometimes that activity might just be walking to the bed.

What's the positive of sitting on the couch? Well, less crimes are committed by people who are too lazy to get off of the couch. And some studies say that watching television and playing video games keep your mind active.

Living at Home

You just spent four years at a college you couldn't afford, and now you can't afford rent. Hello mom and dad, I'm back! You just got married and spent too much money on the wedding and now your savings are starting from square one. Hello mom and dad, we're back! You just got laid off from your job and spent your last dime on a vacation that seemed well deserved at the time. Hello mom and dad? Yup, there is a new trend among millennials and that seems to be living at home. Having mom cook your meals and do your laundry, like no time has passed since before you reached puberty. This can be mildly detrimental to your dating life, but have no fear, all of the negatives of this aspect of your lifestyle are also positives.

You save money by not paying rent. You save money by not buying your own food. You save money by not going out on dates because no one wants to date someone who still lives with his/her parents. Hope you are saving all of this money because it's time to move out, kids.


Don't feel like showering or brushing your teeth? Haven't had access to a clean pair of underwear in a few weeks because you have become too lazy to do laundry? Houston, do we have a problem? A really good deodorant or body spray can hide not showering. Some say that not showering all the time is good for the environment because it helps conserve water. The same goes for doing laundry too often.

Unfortunately, there is no positive to not brushing your teeth. Unless, of course, you don't want to be bothered with having teeth. The only protection your teeth have are you taking care of them, so you might just need to keep a toothbrush, toothpaste and some floss handy. But it's totally up to you.

satirepop cultureadvicehumanity
Read next: Best Running Shoes for Women
Banji Ganchrow

Self-proclaimed writer, masters in social work. Has driven 3 sons to 22 baseball stadiums. Hopes, because of this, they will never put her in a nursing home.

See all posts by Banji Ganchrow