Portrait of a Memory Part 2

Jane pulled a purple composition notebook and purple pencil from her messenger bag. She didn’t particularly like the color purple. In fact, she had a love/hate relationship with that color. After her grandmother’s Alzheimer diagnosis, Jane went off the deep end of advocacy. She joined support groups, wrote and signed petitions to spread awareness, and ran fundraisers to raise money for research. Purple is the “official color” of Alzheimer’s disease, so naturally she collected everything in purple. She worked tirelessly as if her actions would somehow change her grandmother’s prognosis. When it didn’t work that way, Jane was stuck with a lot of purple junk.

“Okay, Elenore. Let’s get started.”

“Here, sit in this chair. I want to lay in my bed.” Elenore struggled to get out of the rocking chair she was sitting in. Jane offered an arm and Elenore took it. Her tiny body felt so frail as Jane escorted her the three feet to her bed. She worried that the wrong move would cause Elenore’s body to snap like a delicate teacup. As Elenore settled into her bed, propping herself on pillows, Jane lingered by her bedside in case she needed assistance.

“You can sit down, Dear.” Elenore gestured to the rocking chair. “I’m not gonna fall out.”

“Okay,” Jane said as she cautiously backed into the rocking chair. “I apologize. I have a soft spot for the elderly. Let me know if it gets annoying or I become overbearing in anyway.”

“Don’t you worry, Dear. I’ve never had an issue with expressing myself,” Elenore said with a chuckle. “Oh, my Albert used to get so frustrated with me when I’d tell him what for!” She laughed herself into a coughing fit. For a moment, Jane had a mini panic-attack. She was worried about Elenore choking, but she also didn’t want to step on “Ms. Independent’s” toes. The coughing fit stopped after a couple seconds, though it felt much longer. It was nothing to worry about, but Jane still had a caregiver’s mentality.

“Would you like me to get you something to drink?”

“No, no. I can ring for a nurse, if need be. Where were we, Dear?”

“I’m going to ask you some questions about your husband and take some notes. Not only will I ask about his physical attributes, but his habits and personality. I want to capture as much of Albert in this painting as I can for you. If we have time today, I might doodle out a little sketch for you to approve!”

“That sounds nice.” Elenore pulled her quilt up to her chin like a child readying herself for a bedtime story. “Albert was my hero. I miss him so much,” she paused. “Did you know him, Dear?” Jane’s eyes filled with tears. Elenore’s disease was baring its teeth. Jane had never even met her before this day. She nonchalantly pushed the tears away before replying.

“No,” she managed. She cleared her throat before starting again. “No, Elenore. I didn’t know Albert. Could you tell me about him?”

“Oh, he was so handsome,” Elenore swooned, gently placing her hand on her heart. “His hair was darker than pitch, but his eyes were a soft green. He had a smile that could make any girl forget she was married. Some men too!” she chuckled. “Oh, and he was so kind and intelligent. He was gentle—" she trailed off.

“Elenore?” Jane leaned over and softly patted Elenore’s hand. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She smiled with a single tear running down her cheek. “I’m fine. His hair was short. His eyes were big. He had a chubby face. I—I’m sorry, Dear. Who were we talking about?”

“You were telling me about your husband, Albert.”

“Oh. Okay.” Elenore looked at the ceiling as if she were trying to find answers there.

“Elenore,” Jane inquired. “I think I should come back tomorrow. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine, Dear. I’m going to take a nap. You should bring your dog next time.”

“I’ll consider that,” Jane replied as she gathered her things. She didn’t have a dog. She didn’t remember mentioning one at any point. This damned disease was the worst. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Elenore. Goodbye.”

Jane let Nurse Greg at the front desk know that Elenore was taking a nap and that she’d be back tomorrow for another visit. She kept her emotions intact until she sat down behind the steering wheel of her car. She breathed out as if she’d been holding her breath for the entire visit. That’s when the real tears started. Jane lost any control she had been holding onto all afternoon. It was such a cleansing cry. Tears flowed as if a river were spilling from her eyes. Her heart ached. It literally ached as the unwanted memories came crashing through her mind. Her body shook violently with every heavy sob. This is not the challenge she was ready for.