New Year, New Changes

2020 has finally arrived and I've decided to make a few changes in my life, for the sake of my mental health and well-being. A couple of days before Christmas last year, I've had a huge mental breakdown online. In my posts, I was talking about how I was always lonely around the holidays and didn't have anyone to spend them with. So I took three days off social media to calm my mind by doing my perler bead art and listening to music. It was the best three days I've ever spent doing. If you have been following me on social media or been reading my stories on Vocal for a period of time, the holidays are always a rough and depressing time for me. What's the whole point of celebrating something if you're always alone? I feel like most holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, are too commercialized and makes people feel guilty to purchase gifts for others. I don't celebrate Valentine's Day either, because it's just a day to shame people who are single. I've decided to make a few changes in my life in order to have a less stressful life.

No More Holidays For Me

Growing up, I loved celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas. I grew up in the '90s and it was a time when these two holidays were all about spending time with family, friends, and relatives, not shopping. As I've gotten older, the meaning of the holidays lessened over time. Then Black Friday happened and I wasn't interested in waking up early in the morning and taking part in the craziness of that day. Seeing hundreds and thousands of people act like complete animals and fighting over useless crap at different stores is one of the reasons why I don't like Black Friday. As I've stated in the beginning of the article, people are so obsessed with consumerism. Another reason why I'm not a fan of the holidays is because retailers like Walmart don't let their employees have time off to spend time with their families. I'll never respect or patron a company who puts profits over their employees. They're so concerned about sales and not about the people working at their stores. From now on, I just treat Christmas and Thanksgiving as just regular days. Logging off social media for a day or two will be beneficial to my mental health. Doing some things that will help calm myself down and reduce stress can be helpful.

Getting Myself In Shape Again

I have been slacking a lot when it comes to me getting into shape. Before I celebrated my last birthday in November, I weighed 153 pounds. After that, my weight was close to 170 pounds. For the last few years, I've struggled with my weight, even when I started to do cosplay over five years ago. It has always been a problem for me and the most I've weighed was at around 200 pounds. I felt heavy and was afraid that I was going to die and didn't want to become a statistic later on in life. In other words, developing diabetes and dying at a young age from other health related problems. So I started going to my local youth center and worked out there a couple days a week. I haven't been there in about three years, but going to make an effort to do that. When I was homeless for most of the spring and summer of 2018, I walked every day, ate better, and played Pokemon Go. By February 2019, I've lost 44 pounds and went down two pant sizes. My friends and other people were happy about my weight loss. My weight has since been going up and down, but currently finding different foods to help me lose weight. Giving up certain foods are hard, but necessary for me in order to live longer. I vowed that I wasn't going to do any new cosplays this year until I've lost a certain amount of weight and in decent shape. Besides, I have only one body and life. I have to take care of them the best way possible. I have new cosplays planned, but getting into shape is what I need to accomplish first.

Thanks, But No Thanks

We all get invites to different events from different people, via Facebook. If you invite me to a party or any function and it's not Facebook official, then I'm not going. Unless you personally invite me to your event in person, chances are that you won't see me there.

It's okay to take a break and focus on yourself. It's never selfish and it'll help you in the long run. Logging off social media to do things that calm your mind is therapy. People often ask me why I'm always staying to myself and the only answer I can give them is I'm working on me. I'm an introvert, so I don't communicate with many people. It's not that I don't like meeting people or communicate. I love meeting people, but once in a while, I need some "me" time. It's been almost a decade since I've went on a real vacation, so I'm planning on attending more cons, but away from Arkansas, which I've never done before. I work a lot, which makes it hard for me to take time off and enjoy myself. Everybody needs a break every now and then. It's not good to overwork yourself. I know that from experience and it took a toll on my mental health. Set up a time to take care of yourself, mentally and physically. You'll thank yourself for that.

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