My Long Covid Recovery

For 2 years I have lived relatively safe. I have made sure to wear a mask on public transport and when I have been in a shop or confined space. I have visited my parents only after isolating for several days and testing for even more in a row, with an obvious negative result. I have survived 2 and a bit lockdowns, home schooled my daughter, watched her go from 9 to 12 in the blink of an eye and entered my 30's, with barely a memory of my former, thinner self.

In all of that time, I was very aware of the consequence that Covid could have for us all. I have watched countless hours of hospital clips, medical stories, news scares, media frenzies and then some. I have watched Kate Garraways story with immense passion, fear and growing understanding of how Covid has changed all of our lives for the worse.

But, in all of that time, I did not anticipate how Covid would directly affect me. Of course, I was scared of how it potentially could but never did I truly think of how something so unknown could become so known in the blink of an eye.

It was a Thursday, I had not long started a new job as a housekeeper and that in itself took a lot out of me in a day. But with my new outlook on healthy eating and movement, I was pleased to have a job so strenuous to help me shift the pounds. The day started like every other day, the morning chores, the rush to work, I felt no different, just tired...very tired. Midday approaches and I sprayed some bleach, only for it to get on my throat a little and for my throat to become itchy. For the next few hours, I would cough in the briefest of intervals and my throat became very dry.

It is the bleach of course, is what I told myself.

Fast forward to the evening, my throat still feels dry and all of the water in the world was not easing the itchiness. I felt as if I had swallowed a desert, so I took a Lateral Flow test just to be safe.

Negative.

A sigh of relief as I read back the result to myself, but I was still not convinced of the little red line that was looking back at me. I was still not convinced that a friend would not be briefly joining it.

That night I went to bed as normal, I felt fine, just tired, but when I arose the next morning, my throat still felt itchy, dry and increasingly like sandpaper. So, I took another test...

Positive.

Day 2 of very mild symptoms and I was positive. To explain to you now the anxiety that rushed through my body, would be nothing less than an impossible task. I felt 2 years of structure, safety and knowing completely disappear from my body. Every vein released the substance that was my net of knowing and left me feeling vulnerable. Of course many of you may be thinking I was exaggerating. After all, millions of people are diagnosed with Covid everyday and a large portion of those people survive or have little to know symptoms at all. But, in that moment, for that second... I was alone.

Of course my own selfish thoughts soon disappeared as I realised I did not live alone. My partner and our 12 year old daughter immediately tested.

Negative.

A sigh of relief again enthralled me...but I was again, not convinced.

As the day went on, I felt no different. After calling work, sending proof and my partner doing the same, I rang my Mum and felt the same shiver of uncertainty in her voice. Of course she was positive (in the actual mood sense), just like I. But she is a realist and she, like me, has been living a rather secluded life for these past 2 years. More so even, as she hasn't had to work and doesn't have a young child at school. So, even though the likelihood that I would be fine is and was high, I heard fear and uncertainty in her voice...even for a second.

My mum rang me several times that day, of course acting cool like all was fine, but I knew why...she was simply checking in. Fast forward to 22:30 on that Thursday evening. The first day of positive diagnosis and my second day of symptoms...I suddenly began to shiver. I was on the phone at the time, of course to the person I had been on the phone to all day...my mum, but at first I did not let her know of my sudden change...until I couldn't hide it anymore.

My whole body began to shiver violently, my chest became tight as it struggled to stay warm and I profusely began to sweat. My eyes became dull yet I was wide awake. I told my mum I think I had a fever coming and I would ring her the following day. As the receiver was put down, I swung open my patio doors and felt relief as the cool air touched my face. My partner looked at me with unknowing of what he should do.

Water, please just water

I asked swiftly. My throat still dry and itchy like that first sign of something to come.

That night was nothing less than mortifying. An uncomfortable mess of shivering, pain, inflammation, fever, hot, cold and hot again. I was a ball of hotness and not in a good way.

The next morning I awoke from the worst nights sleep I had experienced in many a year, only my partner did not. The day was now Saturday and I was no longer fever stricken upon awakening but I was hot. As the morning progressed, my partner walked downstairs complaining of a bad head and an aching body. His throat was itchy, he had a minor temperature and I knew in that moment...his test was about to be a positive one...and not the good kind. Sure enough it was...

Positive.

That day we spent in and out of sleep, lots of water, little to no food. We maybe mustered some strawberries and some grapes that day. I remember eating a malteser or two and feeling they tasted the sweetest I had ever remembered. My taste was different and I didn't like it.

Now luckily, our daughter has recently been gifted with a phone so she was able to keep a level of sanity as her parents brushed through the day. Fever, no fever. Sleep no sleep. She stayed alert, happy and occupied by her ever ending friends and family on the other end of her phone.

Fast forward to Sunday, I awoke feeling miles better. I no longer had a fever, I was in no pain and luckily I had gotten through those first few days with no breathing problems, (my biggest fear throughout this pandemic by far). But that is not to say I felt right, I didn't feel right but I did feel better.

Liam however, he did not. He suffered for the next few days with aches and pains. His chest was heavy, his heartbeat fast and he was tired...so tired. Those next few days I recovered fast, he recovered slower but he still recovered. Of course, on the previous Sunday, 2 days after my positive test and a day after Liams, Shelby too tested positive. But, being a healthy child, she bounced back quick, being ill for all of half of a day.

This household suffered mild symptoms and was recovering rather fast...or so it seemed.

Day 9 and I was no longer testing positive, the same for them and we seemed relatively normal, but all was not as it seemed.

It has been 2 weeks since we originally tested positive for Covid. Shelby sleeps until 1-2 pm daily. Liam goes to bed at 10/11pm and sleeps until late the next morning. His chest doesn't feel right, his heart doesn't feel right and he has only these last 2 days started to recover from feeling nauceous.

And I, I have been signed off from work for 4 weeks with extreme fatigue and long Covid. I have always prided myself on staying on top of my housework and since Covid, it has been nothing less than a struggle. I find walking up the stairs with the vacuum an absolute ball ache. I go dizzy, out of breath and all I want to do is sit down, rest or sleep. I have never felt so well but so weak at the same time. My relationship with food has changed. I eat because I have to now, not because I want to. And for a foodie, that is nothing short of disaterous. I have been suffering with bi-daily migraines, some with pain, some without and just a blinding light. I cannot begin to explain the feeling of utter emotional distress and fatigue I have felt and no doubt, will continue to feel for the coming weeks and months.

So far, there is no improvement, there is no sign of positivity.

Of course, I am utterly grateful to whoever was looking out for myself and my family, that the symptoms we have had have been mild compared to some. We are aware how lucky we have been compared to the likes of Derek Garraway, whos story has utterly shattered me to watch and follow. But the struggle I have been left with daily is nothing less than confusing, frustrating and leaves me feeling powerless.

I only hope as the days, weeks and months go on, my family will improve. I hope that we can leave this rut and find our strength again. I would like to climb the stairs without fear of losing my breath. I would like my daughter to rise early without me feeling I have to wake her. I would like my partner to stay awake at night, with late films and series, without the struggle to keep ones eyes open.

Covid has been let in without an invite and unfortunately...at least for a while, it seems it is here to stay.

Thankyou very much for reading my experience and brush with Covid. I appreciate every bit of love and every tip you kindly give.