My First Weight Loss Journal Entry

Hey guys! I’m so happy you found this story! This is actually my first story on Vocal and this topic is something I usually don't talk with others about. That’s about to change! This article is going to be super personal, but I want to share it with you all in case you are going through the same thing. Like I said this is going to be super personal, so please no hate.

I’m currently 172 pounds.. When I started my weight loss journey 4 weeks ago I weighed in at 178 pounds. Let me start from the beginning. My whole life up until the start of my senior year of high school, (almost 2 years ago), I had a tiny figure. I could eat as much and whatever I wanted without gaining anything. June 23rd, 2018 I started dating my boyfriend. We would go out to eat A LOT! At the time I didn’t think it mattered because I had a small figure. Don’t get me wrong I was never completely satisfied with my figure even though now looking back I now love the figure I had. For example, even at 125 pounds I still had stretch marks going down my inner thighs from 13 years of Dance classes, I wouldn’t wear shorts because of it.

Throughout my senior year I gradually started to gain more and more weight. I weighed around 140-145. This was when I started to not love myself even less than I already did. My boyfriend would just keep telling me that he loved me the way I was and would always love me. As sweet as he is that wasn’t enough for me though because I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I was starting to not fit my size medium clothing and had to buy new clothes in a size large.

After I graduated high school is when I seriously started to struggle with weight gain. I was at a place in life that I was practically binge eating from stressing over how much life was changing, money, and the fact that I had no clue what I wanted to do about college because I didn’t know who I was enough to pick a major. At this time is when I hit 165-170 pounds. I have to wear size large - x large clothing. I wear a size 12 in jeans instead of a 6 now. Plus, I now have stretch marks going from my armpit to my elbow that makes me so self conscious to wear I won't wear short sleeves anymore. At this point I was scared to even get a job after quitting mine from having a social anxiety attack working the cash register. I was so scared about what people would think of me that it really messed up my mind. I stayed in my apartment that my boyfriend and I were living in just about everyday for months afraid to get out.

Beginning of March my boyfriend and I moved out of our apartment to relocate back to where he is from. Where I live we have a popular, long, trail through woods with rivers. I had asked my best friend if she wanted to start going with me at the beginning of April. April 1st was the first day we went. Since then I've been going 2-3 times a week. I've been drinking water more, tracking my calories to 1300 a day, and I've started at home workouts. My plan is to lose 2 pounds a week. My end weight goal is at 140 pounds.

Since my move have I not only started my journey to losing weight, but I also started online college classes to become a community manager for an apartment complex. I would of never known I wanted to do that if it wasn't for the move. Also since moving I have learned so much more about myself like I absolutely love flowers and plants and hope to start my own garden soon.

Not only did I find out more about myself and start my weight loss because of the move, but it also had to do a lot with the fact that I cut ties with my best friend of 5 years. Her and I had been best friends since freshman year. Our first falling out wasn't until Junior year when she started dating my ex of 7 months. We had only been broken up for maybe 2 months. Our friendship wasn't the same after that. A month after they got together it was her birthday. She invited me and some of our other close girl friends to lunch and to go skating, which would of been so fun if it wasn't for the fact that he was there too. She didn't even ask me how I felt about it and ever since then she was controlling and toxic. Everything had to be about her, until one day in March I had enough,and we haven't spoken since then.

Basically what I am trying to say is that if it wasn't for the move and cutting out a close toxic person out of my life then I may of never started this weight loss and I would still definitely be loss about who I am. Take the leap even if it scares you because you may never know the things that can come out of it. If it wasn't for my weight gain I probably would of never gotten it out of my head that my body wasn't good enough. Once I get back to my healthy weight I will have a new self love that I wouldn't take for granted ever again.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. This is only the beginning, so keep an out for my next entry! Thank you!