My Breast Cancer Story

April 15th, 2017, I found a lump in my left breast during a self breast exam. I knew it was cancer the moment I felt it, so hard, defined, and different than the other tissue around it. I called my sister and told her that I was going to the ER the next morning. She was surprised but supportive and even planned to go with me.

The next day was Easter and so between family activities and a bit of drama, I went to the best emergency room that I knew. At first, I almost didn't go and was thinking about putting it off until the next morning. But, I was afraid that I might keep putting it off. I chose to put myself first that day.

As it turned out, I ended up going alone since my sister's car wouldn't start. The ER doctor ran some tests and ordered an ultrasound which reviled a large mass that he and the radiologist were greatly concerned about.

During the ultrasound, I snuck a peak at the monitor and saw it. It was kind of beautiful, alien, and egg-shaped suspended from these branch-like things into what looked like veins (I later realised that I was seeing the cancer breaking through the milk ducts). Each medical professional visit after that was all the same. They were talkative and friendly while going about their normal routine, prepping me and trying to put my mind at ease, but then this look would come over them while they would view the tentative result. Then, each would urge me to follow up with my doctor. I sometimes wonder if they were relieved or felt guilty that they couldn't tell me that it looked like cancer. I never asked any of them because I didn't need to. And often I would give them a comforting hug and promising not give up and that I would be alright.

I spent the next few weeks in various medical offices until I met with a surgeon that gave me the diagnoses (the day after my 40th birthday). During my biopsy, they were unable to locate my lymph noids and couldn't test it and this meant we wouldn't have enough information to provide a stage. I elected to proceed to surgery. At first, I chose a lumpectomy but decided after a few sleepless night that a mastectomy was the better option. I wanted it out right away and I wanted to be absolutely certain that we got it all.

The night before my surgery, I celebrated my husband's and my 9 year wedding anniversary. The hardest part was leaving my two young children, the youngest just shy of two years old and my six year old autistic son behind that night.

I don't remember much about that drive to the hospital or what immediately followed. I do remember meeting the anesthesiologist and then having my lymph noids mapped (which is a crazy experience).

It seemed like forever until I was wheeled away from my family and into the operating room. I was taken and placed on a very thin table with arms spread wide. A women started placing monitor on me while a mask was placed over my face and I was told to breath and he started counting. I remember, "One, two..."

And then I was out.

(To Be Continued)