Minimalism and Anxiety

*This article contains resources for women, especially mothers, that can most definitely extend to men, dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. Please read through to find them. Do not be shy to reach out or click links. Support is waiting for you and will welcome you with open arms.*

Being prepared for what you request and expect from the Universe looks many different ways. Being prepared is self confidence, hard work, physical preparation, and already acting like you have it all together because you do and you are. A portion of my self confidence is commenting, liking, and interacting on social media platforms. I know, what a modern day problem, but being social media shy is a real thing. Shy or fearful? Shy to show the internet who you are or fearful of rejection, ridicule, or even worse, going unnoticed. A little bit of both?

A part of being successful is ignoring those fears and overcoming shyness. A part of getting noticed is putting yourself out there.

Joining online writing platforms has pushed me to become more interactive and less focused on the internet’s feedback. My increase in engagement has provided me with more confidence, more ideas, and has connected me with people who align with my goals and peace. So when I came across this Facebook post on October 27, 2021, there was no hesitation to respond, even though I am not a minimalist, but I am a mom born in between the requested years.

The first thing that came to mind when I read the word minimalist was someone who lives with the bare minimum to get by — possibly an empty apartment, definitely no wifi, or cable, would they use a stove? Are these stereotypes surrounding the idea of minimalism? I accepted the fact that I was ignorant to the true definition and went to Google.

A simple definition of a minimalist lifestyle is when “you strive to only use things that serve a purpose.” A more detailed definition is, “It is a part of the thought process how a person chooses to live with all the minimal things in life and yet be satisfied. A minimalist lifestyle is by no means a radical lifestyle but rather an optimal one.”

A week later, Rachelle inboxed me.

After brief introductions, I learned her intentions were to connect with Millennial women who may have developed anxiety into motherhood. I was fit for the interview. I have been anxious and somewhat worrisome before becoming a mother, but nothing that needed to be paid attention to. As a mom of three now, a 6 year old, 2.5 year old, and 7 month old, panic attacks are something I have developed. I have been trying to establish a relationship with a therapist, having some failed attempts, but I am not discouraged and my determination to center myself is at an all time high. Rachelle and I continued to message and I agreed to a Zoom meeting. Another great decision I made for myself.

The morning of the set 11 am Zoom meeting, Eastern Time, 8 am Pacific Time, was a bit overwhelming for me. Working from home doing Medical Billing and authorizations with two babies can get stressful at times. I almost canceled the meeting, but the determined side of me did not allow myself. So at 10:30 am, I emailed Rachelle and asked to push the meeting to 12 pm; I needed time to compose myself. Thank you, determined Tina, for pushing me to go through with the meeting.

I did not hold back with Rachelle either. I was honest about my new relationship with panic attacks, how I remove myself from the situation [go to the bathroom] and attempt to regain control and center myself. We were able to pinpoint that they start when my mind starts throwing at me everything that needs to be done when a situation is starting to spiral.

Example: When a task for work suddenly becomes priority, babies cry and my brain begins to point out the three bags of laundry, some dirty dishes, my closet needs reorganizing, but I need those screws from Home depot, the cat meows and my tummy growls. Oh shit, is it pickup time yet?

We spoke about recognizing the start of the spiral and as Rachelle called it “curbing the panic attack”. She shared a breathing technique that should be practiced everyday whether you experience an attack or not. It begins with setting a 2 minute timer. For those 2 minutes, you should try to relax and just breathe, taking long exhales. Longer exhales is a technique that will attempt to condition your nervous system to react a certain way when the build up of an attack starts, potentially setting you up for a calmer, more rational response.

I knew after that, speaking to Rachelle was the right thing to do. She also said she would email me resource videos from some of her Webinars regarding panic attacks. She did and of course she said I could share them. Here they are.

Panic? Attack! Webinar: Panic? Attack! Webinar

Understanding Panic Ebook: Understanding Anxiety

Guided Panic Talkdown: Guided Panic Talkdown

I asked her the relationship between minimalism and anxiety as her original post just mentioned minimalism and being a mother. Rachelle explained one way she dealt with her anxiety was to literally minimize the material things around her. Minimalism is “being intentional” with what you keep around you, understanding that too much around can be a contributing factor to one’s anxiety. *Mind blown as a compilation plays in my head of me complaining daily of too much stuff around me* She continued to say she used to participate in programs where she went to the houses of willing mothers and helped them declutter. Take a second, if you’re home, and look around the room you are in. How many things in that room do you actually use and need? Be honest, now.

I can confidently say after my Zoom meeting/therapy session with Rachelle, I have thrown out a couple of things, donated some others, and am waiting for my Amazon delivery of some desk organizing tools to complete the job. If it disrupts your mood, shifts your nervous system, or causes you an imbalance of some sort, get rid of it.

If you desire more space, then make some space.

If you are surrounded by uncontrolled clutter that is only indication it is time for some things to leave your possession. If you are questioning it, you already know the answer, you are just fighting it. Be direct and honest with yourself and others in order to reach your goals wholeheartedly and successfully.

Rachelle further expressed to me that her ultimate goal is to create a program for mothers that can assist in the centering process,

“I find that the common denominator that all mothers seek is to be able to center themselves during stressful moments.”

Yes, yes we do. I do not want to feel like I am getting the worst mother of the year award all because I couldn’t cook dinner by 6 pm and my children were happy with their fruit salads and yogurt then eating rice and chicken at 8:30pm. Crying has become all too common.

Connecting with Rachelle continued to confirm for me that I am not alone despite this killing feeling of doing it all by myself. The pressures of everything I am supposed to do will no longer outweigh everything that I do. I will also no longer continue to hold onto unnecessary baggage and get rid of the root causes of my anxiety, well everything except the children.

If you want to connect with Rachelle 1:1 like I did to share some of your experiences and insights on motherhood, anxiety, or minimalism, please click below.

Speak With Me Here

My office desk is half way to complete organization and my bookshelves have been reorganized. Completing a task toward my panic attack free days, no matter how small or big, are steps in the right direction. Thank you Rachelle for creating that Facebook post and I thank myself for having the courage to answer it. Thank you even more for the much needed resources and impromptu therapy session that has opened my eyes that maybe I do need to adopt some minimalist practices.

I hope this article touches the screen of all people who deal with anxiety and panic attacks. I hope there is something you have read that benefits you. I hope this turns around any feelings you may that your situation cannot be changed. Yes it can and yes it will even if it’s reading countless articles, posts, comments, or messages that point you in the right direction. One of them holds the answer you are looking for.

This article was originally posted on Medium.com. If you would like to check out my stories there, please click here.

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