Key Signs That Your Mindfulness Practice Is Working

Mindfulness is defined simply as ‘the state of being conscious or aware of something.’

So, a mindfulness practice can be anything — meditation, yoga, contemplation, cold water therapy, breathwork, ice baths, chanting, singing, dancing, art-making, sewing, surfing, running, writing, martial arts, tantric lovemaking, sport… or any of the other myriad of ways we connect to ourselves.

But as my subtitle suggested at the very top of the blog — it’s not what we do, it’s how we do it. However, and perhaps more importantly, it’s who we are in the world after we do it.

“I don’t sit down for an hour every morning to meditate so I can work on myself. I sit down for an hour every morning so I can work on myself for the other 23 hours.” — Vipassana Meditator

What this meditator was getting at is that a mindfulness practice isn’t necessarily “the work” we do to better ourselves but rather the support and nourishment we need to help us through the rest of the day.

So, as much as having a mindfulness practice is for the enjoyment and connection, it’s also about how much peace, happiness, and presence it cultivates for us throughout the rest of the day.

That’s why some challenging practices like meditation, Kundalini yoga, ice baths, breathwork, and martial arts are so effective. They create confronting and challenging situations internally so when confronting and challenging situations arise externally, they often carry less force. That’s because more dopamine and oxytocin (the happy chemicals) are circulating, the nervous system is relaxed and the heart is open.

Along the journey of becoming mindful, there are some key signs that let us know that we’re on the right track. Here are my top five.

1. You become less reactive and more curious

Most of us engage in a mindfulness practice for a number of reasons but mostly it’s to become a better human.

When we feel good about ourselves and are committed to our own growth, we tend to take stuff less personally and become curious about our inner goings-on.

I used to point the finger of blame upon anyone or anything that upset me, made me angry, or made me feel smaller than who I was. But after too many years, I realised that as soon as I did, I was placing my happiness and peace outside of myself.

I was unconsciously living through how people, places, and events made me feel instead of cultivating my own source of happiness within. So, instead of reacting to things I decided to become curious. I still felt the same emotions bubble up inside but I took these moments as opportunities to learn and not as mistakes or wrongdoings.

When we see every event, mistake, conversation, piece of food, drink, person, activity, animal, TV show, music, weather condition, childhood event, family member, friend, country, news article, environmental concern, political agenda, and sporting event as an opportunity to see what excites, arouses, opens, closes, repels, angers, infuriates, saddens, uplifts, and inspires this mind, body, and spirit, the world suddenly becomes a big old playground for us to explore.

When we dedicate ourselves to a mindfulness practice we become a willing participant in our own lives. We become the star subject, student, guide, teacher, facilitator, creator, healer, magician and mystic too. But all of it starts with the curiosity to find out.

2. You project less onto others and take ownership of your emotions

As I said above, anyone can point the finger of blame. It’s easy. We can project our pain, suffering, and misery onto another and say it’s because they did this, said that, or didn’t do this or say that. Jeez, I used to do it all the time.

We can also think that our happiness, joy, peace, and freedom lies within another too, relying on that person as the only source for our emotional well-being. But when we place blame or joy onto someone or something, it can lead to a co-dependent relationship that’s not all that healthy.

As we begin to engage in a mindfulness practice, however, a key sign that it’s working is that there is less projection and more ownership. We take ownership of our sadness and suffering just as much as we take ownership of our happiness and freedom. When we own it all, we hold onto our power.

When we see another as a reflection of our own internal landscape, we can thank them for showing us what might otherwise not have been seen. This is a monumental shift!

3. You become aware that your outer world is a reflection of your inner world

This follows on from the two above. When we feel that our outer experiences are a reflection of our inner experience, we take ownership of our emotional body and become curious to see why it’s there, how it got there, and what is going on.

We quickly move from a place of avoidance or judgement to a place of gratitude.

“Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality” — Robin Sharma

There are a quadrillion and one things that can happen to us at any given moment so the chances of us experiencing what we are experiencing are minuscule. One way to see these things is that they are completely random, the luck of the draw. Another way is to see everything as meaningful or fated. Whatever one you believe, one law seems to govern everything that we experience.

To put it simply — Like attracts like.

For example, if I walk around feeling angry at the world, chances are I am going to find a lot more things to be angry about. If I walk around feeling sad, chances are I am going to find a lot more things to be sad about. And if I walk around feeling happy, peaceful, joyful, or blissful, chances are I am going to find a lot more things to be happy, peaceful, joyful and blissful about. It’s that simple really.

What we choose to feel and how we choose to move is a personal choice.

When we take ownership of our emotions, we start to create and cultivate the world from the inside and we become the architects of our own reality.

So, now I’d like to ask — what life do you wish to create for yourself?

4. You become more concerned with yourself

From everything above, you know that when we feel good, happy, peaceful, and open we can influence and create the life we wish to live. We can create our surrounding area and be in the kind of loving relationships that we’ve always dreamed about.

We can also add value to everyday people in everyday situations — a supermarket cashier’s day can be buoyed up with an authentic conversation, a bus driver with a friendly smile, a stranger from a hi-five, a tree from a hug, or an animal from a loving touch.

Remember this: Selfishness is the new generosity.

Don’t be afraid to look after yourself first. If you do, you’re doing the world a favour.

I often thought being selfish was a negative thing that I must avoid at all costs. But the more I’ve gone into mindfulness practices, I’ve seen that it’s one of the best ways to serve the world. Or as my old Tantra teacher used to say, “for me to believe your yes, I must first believe your no.”

So, let go of doing things that stopped serving long ago. Have the courage to listen to your needs and move from your authentic centre. When you do, you invite others to do the same. And what better gift is there to give to the world than that?

5. You admit that you have no idea what is going on

This is where it gets fun.

As humans, we have very limited instruments that we use to experience life. We have eyes that only see certain distances, depths, and colours. We have a nose that only picks up certain scents. Ears that only hear certain frequencies. A tongue that tastes only certain flavours. And skin that feels only certain sensations. But that’s not all of the colours, scents, flavours, frequencies, and sensations that exist.

Our human library of knowledge is a tiny of fraction of the great universal library of truth.

When we become aware that we know only a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of what makes up reality, and that minuscule fraction is subject to change at any moment, suddenly we don’t take things so personally or seriously. In truth — How could we?!

The beautiful geometric images displayed in the third eye, psychedelic experiences, breathwork, plant medicines, the dream world, and past life regressions (to name only a few) all point to worlds far beyond our comprehension. The beauty of having a mindfulness practice is that it connects us to these other realms of possibility and reminds us that we are a part of a much bigger web that we can only marginally grasp.

By not pretending that we know what’s going on we open ourselves up to the mystery and magic that surrounds us. We see the world from the eye of a child who’s enamoured and awe-struck at what they find.

This is where it gets fun.

“Nothing to do, nowhere to be, no one to become” — Osho

To recap:

• Here’s how to know if your mindfulness practice is working:
• You become less reactive and more curious
• You project less onto others and take ownership of your emotions
• You become aware that your outer world is a reflection of your inner world
• You become more concerned with yourself
• You admit that you have no idea what is going on