It Wasn’t Always Rainbows and Dumbbells

The Emily I am now is not the Emily I have always been. I’ve come a long way. The Emily I am now is the result of a long and painful journey of personal growth and self-discovery. I hope my words will empower you to whole-heartedly believe that you can overcome your pain and live a successful life.

Here's My Story

After struggling with an eating disorder for years, my health nearly hit rock bottom when I was in college. I had no choice but to drop out.

It was a downward spiral that eventually landed me in legal trouble and court-mandated rehab. The year I spent in rehab proved to be a life-changing experience. It was there that I rediscovered my love for art, and where I started working out.

While exercising, I had a taste of a feeling that, at the time, felt so foreign to me that I couldn’t quite name it. Now, I can name the feeling: happiness.

Discovering fitness, and the enchanting emotions it sparked within, was the catalyst for my journey to self love.

The Journey Begins

When I first started on this adventure towards a healthier lifestyle, I knew that I needed to make some serious changes in my life. My body image issues had caused me to spiral into a cycle of self-hate and self-destructive behaviors. Every time I looked in the mirror, I would see a distorted image of myself - a disgusting, unrecognizable, fat person. But in reality, I was so skinny that the word ‘skinny’ does not even cut it. I was emaciated, with little to no muscle mass and a frail frame that lacked vitality and substance. I had to take action to change this, and so I embarked on a journey towards physical and emotional healing. It was not easy, but I learned to love and care for my body in ways that I never had before.

Through a combination of healthy eating, regular exercise, and self-care practices, I was able to transform my body and my mindset. I began to see myself in a more positive light, recognizing the strength and beauty that lay within me. I learned to treat myself with kindness and compassion. I learned to let go of the negative self-talk that had been holding me back for so long.

Strategies & Practices

One of the tools that's been incredibly helpful for me is the Five Minute Journal. This simple journaling practice allows me to reflect on my day and express gratitude for the positive things in my life. It helps me to focus on the present moment and appreciate the little things that make life worth living.

In addition to the Five Minute Journal, meditation has also been a powerful tool for me in my self-care journey. Taking just a few minutes each day to sit and breathe has helped me to reduce stress and anxiety, and has given me a greater sense of clarity and focus. It feels super weird at first, but sticking with it is key. Eventually, it feels like a lullaby.

Prioritizing Me

Self-care isn't just about journaling or gratitude – it's also about setting boundaries and taking care of yourself in a way that feels true to you. For me, this means prioritizing my mental health and taking time for myself each day. It means saying no when I need to, and taking time to do the things that make me feel good.

I also make sure to prioritize my physical health, too. As a fitness instructor, I know the importance of regular exercise and eating a healthy, balanced diet. But I also know that it's important to listen to my body and give myself rest when I need it. This means taking a day off from the gym when I'm feeling run down, or indulging in a slice of pizza once in a while without feeling guilty about it afterward.

Ultimately, self-care is about taking care of my mind, body, and soul. It's about being kind to myself and recognizing that I deserve to feel good. While it has been a trip with ups and downs, it's one that's absolutely worth it. I still have days where I find myself thinking negatively, and I have to remind myself how to deal with those kinds of thoughts. It’s a work in progress and always will be. It’s a project I will dedicate myself to as long as I am breathing.

Emily; 2023

I used to hate mirrors. Mirrors didn't show me what I looked like. In my eyes, mirrors showed me how I felt, and I felt like trash.

…but I'm a different person now.

Now, when I look in the mirror, I see and feel love.

Below is a message to my new readers and loyal followers:

I hope my words will empower you to not only believe, but to truly understand that no matter how difficult life may seem at times, there are always opportunities to grow, learn, and overcome adversity.

Pain is a natural part of the human experience and it can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and development. By embracing your struggles and facing them head-on, you can develop the resilience and strength needed to lead a successful and fulfilling life. Remember that you are capable of achieving great things and that with perseverance and a positive mindset, anything is possible.

xo

Emily