It's A Good Life If You Want It

I was going to headline this story with 'How I Became Mortgage Free'. But as I only did so by losing everything including my house, I thought it might be seen as me being deceptive. Anyway, it is really a story about making the best of a lousy hand and ending up with a happy smile.

I first started work in 1967 and continued to work for the following fifty six years. In those early years I never for one moment thought about retirement and drawing an old age pension. There were two reasons for this lack of thought.

Reason number one was that I was born and brought up in a very rough city and seriously did not expect to get past twenty years of age. More than once I was very near to dying an early death through nothing more than the physical violence I was subject to on almost a daily basis.

Reason number two was that at that young age, we never gave a thought to the past or the far-distant future. We lived existentially, that is to say, we lived in the moment with not a single thought about what had happened or what might happen.

We also have to remember that life expectancy at that time was not what it is these days. My own father passed away in 1979 at the age of just fifty nine. Believe it or not, that was considered old in those days. My mother fared better, living to the ripe old age of eighty four. And even she said when she reached that age "I never expected to get this old, son."

In later years, as I climbed the career ladder, I did try to make provisions for old age with a private pension plan and two endowment policies. Sadly, an acrimonious divorce and inequitable division of assets destroyed those plans.

The one other possible saving grace was house ownership. After over half a lifetime of climbing the property ladder, moving house almost every five years to something bigger and more valuable, I had more than enough equity to provide for my senior years. What I had in mind was to downsize my accommodation once the children had all left home to forge their own lives. Again, life had other plans for me.

A second, even more acrimonious divorce, left me totally penniless. To say I got well and truly fleeced by a very nasty, greedy ex, aided by an over-favorable Spanish legal system, would be to put it mildly. If you really want to know why these days men are disinclined to get married, and women are all too eager to get a divorce, there is your answer.

And so here I am with not a pot to piss in after a lifetime of hard graft. Meanwhile, my two ex-wives have done very nicely thank you very much. And the funny thing is, they are still not happy. Anyway, that is their problem, not mine. As for me, I am as happy as Larry, whoever Larry is, and for whatever reason Larry is happy.

I am now with my third wife (some guys never learn). Some call this a triumph of optimism over experience. I call it one of the most intelligent decisions I ever made. Here's why.

The only income I personally have is a small state pension. Small? It is barely enough to cover our monthly food bill. Then there's the rent and utility bills, medical bills, transport......the list goes on and on. However, I got lucky. My third wife, apart from being the loveliest woman I know, happens to have a very good career. And I know she loves me for who and what I am and not for my money, because I haven't got any money, my first two ex-wives took it all, and then some.

Of course, I am a typical proud man who does not like to be economically dependent on a hard-working woman. So I am always trying to make a little extra money with some sort of side hustle, like Medium and Vocal Media.

A full-time or even part-time job appears to be out of the question, I'm afraid. I am now seventy years old and as such virtually unemployable. When I came to live in Japan I did try very hard to get a job as an English teacher, since that is one of my many professions. Alas, my age went against me at interviews.

A friend once asked me if would go back to the United Kingdom, which is where I am, originally from. However, since my wife is Asian, rather than British or European, the British government says that to go back and live there with my wife, I need to provide proof of being in a job that pays me thirty thousand pounds a year. I used to earn that amount, and a lot more, in my prime. But no company will give a seventy year old man a job, let alone pay him a king's ransom for doing it.

So here I am in Japan, which I love with all of my heart and soul. And my wife and her family treat me like I am a king. We live in a modest, three- room apartment, in a very peaceful and quiet semi-rural area. Nobody bothers us. I have never had it so good.

Despite its economic challenges, I could not ask for better 'old age' years. I want for nothing. My life is very agreeable and full of the love and affection of a very beautiful woman, twenty years younger than myself. I've had more than my share of comments about that age gap, and even been called a cradle snatcher by some! It seems to be a problem for some people, but it most certainly is not a problem for us.

I am very fortunate in being very physically agile and active for my age. I go cycling every single day. I usually cover between ten and twenty kilometers a day, depending on the weather. When the heat dies down I hope to double that distance. And if I cannot cycle I walk, usually between three and five miles.

Healthwise I have a few chronic ailments, like PMR/GCA. But they are all under control with pills, or in remission with weekly injections of some amazing Japanese Superdrug. It is also super expensive, but I have the benefit of a private health plan to take care of that.

In our free time, we do things like take a walk in the park, visit an art gallery, take in a concert of classical music, take a drive out to the coast, climb a mountain, go to an old car museum, and we very often dine out.

At home, when my wife is at work, I listen to the English and Spanish news (I lived there for twenty five years and am fluent in Spanish). I also like to regularly watch a few internet channels, like 'Aquaholic'. It's all about yachts I could never afford to buy or charter, but I like to dream that maybe one day I will win the lottery and buy myself a Sunseeker or Princess yacht. And I have a monthly subscription to 'Car' magazine, which I have been reading for over forty years.

When my wife is home we like to watch things like Poirot or Sherlock Holmes. We also love watching The Great British Bakeoff. Failing that we watch a good movie, or tune in to watch Liverpool FC because I am a dyed in the wool Red.

The most noticeable part of my present everyday life is the distinct lack of drama. I come from a family of eight, but I only maintain contact with one, my youngest brother and his son. I would not give the rest a push off the side. Too toxic and narcissistic for my taste.

I also have four children of my own, but I only have contact with one of them, my eldest son. His two sisters are too much up their mother's backside and have swallowed whole all of her malicious lies about me. My youngest son (by my second malicious ex) was kidnapped in 2014 when he was thirteen by his unbalanced mother and I have neither seen nor heard from either of them since. The law in Spain and the UK, which is where I suspect they are, did not lift a finger to help me. And my son, now almost twenty two, has not made the slightest attempt to call me. I can only blame his mother up to a certain point. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I live what is in many ways a solitary existence. During the day, due to living in a different time zone to Europe, I am completely alone, and I love it. I can be totally selfish with my time and not offend nor hurt a soul.

Over the years I have lost a few good friends a darn sight younger than me. I have also jettisoned others who I eventually realised saw me as a friend with benefits. No company is far better than bad company. These days I do not suffer fools gladly.

Strange but true, these days I see less well with my eyes and a lot better with my mind. I have had to learn how to read people better, their hidden agendas, their self-seeking, all too obvious, Modus Operandi.

The most important thing I have learned is how to make myself happy. I do not depend on anybody else to do that for me. As a result, I have a very fulfilling life, far better than I ever anticipated. If only I had learned that sooner. Still, better late than never, as they say.

The only other thing I would say is, the good life that I am living did not come about by design. I stumbled upon it. As a young, or even middle-aged, adult, I don't think I could have planned the life that I have any better. I am not sure anybody can. Sometimes you just have to keep a good heart, go with the flow, and hope for the best.