How To Get Motivated To Get In Shape

Do you still have a love-hate relationship with the gym? Or walk into the gym with a state of irritation and anger?

How many of you have the sole purpose of “exercising” without “any excuse?”

When was the last time you walked into the gym with the sole purpose of feeling good? If your answers to these questions are negative, then you may want to sit tight and grab a cup of coffee.

We talk so much about our relationships with food and culture, but not so much about our relationship with exercise. We are all bogged down in practice doctrine. Get away from a place of pressure, guilt, and a sense of necessity — what I call a place of hate.

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Our mind is more than ever disconnected from our body. Most women have little or no love for their bodies and therefore operate with a completely wrong mindset.

For years I have worked with thousands of trainees and helped them reach their fitness goals. I’ve been able to turn most timid, and skeptical trainees into regular members.

The strange thing is I don’t have any special strength to make this happen. I listen, observe, and adjust my coaching to serve their versions of a joyful practice.

What I’ve learned in my years of hands-on instruction is that people want to be met where they are.

They want to be seen and not judged, they want to trust and know that they are okay, that they will be challenged but not pushed too far out of their comfort zone. For many people, there is a real and acute fear of exercise — and there are many good reasons for this.

Many people, especially those of us who have been socialized as women, have been at war with our bodies for a long time, some of us for as long as we can remember.

For those of us who saw our bodies as the enemy, exercise was often punitive and associated with negativity.

It was often linked to an unhealthy relationship with our mind and body and used as a tool to look a certain way and fit into a normative framework.

Sometimes a well-meaning parent urged us to practice meeting an expectation. It all echoes in our ears, even many years later, a lingering reminder that it is not enough.

There are many other reasons, but the awareness of fitness is often based on the fear surrounding old stories, shame, physical distrust or fear of failure.

But what if you could rewrite your fitness story? What if exercising was fun?

What if it was happy and rewarding and had nothing to do with how we look or how tall we are?

What if we could let go of all the hard expectations we have for ourselves and stop worrying about the expectations of others, or at least stop giving them so much precedence in our thoughts and decisions?

This is what I help my trainees with: reshaping their relationship with fitness and rewriting history so that they can make it a joyful part of their long-term life.

Here are some tips to remember when you begin your training that can help you fall in love with your workout.

These are simple yet powerful truths and, in my experience, just what anyone who wants to practice but has a hard time following should hear.

Ask yourself why you are doing it

Now ask yourself, why are you exercising? What’s the real reason why you show up day in and day out? Is it because you like it? Is it because your body feels great when you do it?

Or is it because you feel pressured and guilty when you don’t? Is it because other people make you feel like you should or want to be like other people?

The first step to mastering your state of mind with exercise is to recognize what state of mind you are in at the moment.

Think about how good you feel

We’ve become obsessed with the amount of work we do, rather than what it feels like to exercise.

If you are not training for a sport, why should you train at high intensity every day? 3/4 times a week, intensive training is sufficient if you are feeling well.

Spend more time thinking about how exercise makes you feel good — and if it doesn’t, you may be doing too much.

“Fitness isn’t about being better than somebody else. It’s about being better than you used to be.”

Until you started loving from the inside you won’t enjoy doing it

I spent years moving my body because I hated it, adjusting where I could, how I could. The first thing I did in the morning was looking at my body and see the spots.

All I wanted was to look different.

Sometimes I exercised 3 times a day and thought that by doing this I would love my body — but I was wrong. I was overworking my body because that energy came from a place of hatred.

When you enter a place of love, you see that everything changes. Move because you love your body enough to make it move.

Make it a passion and happiness is easier

As long as you derive happiness from your appearance, you will remain miserable.

For years it was all about my body. I thought looking good would make me feel good and be happy, but struggling for that made me feel bad.

When you strive to look good, you always feel dissatisfied because you want so much more than looking good.

Change your mindset so that exercise is good for you. You shouldn’t hate going to the gym or exercising, and if you do, find something you love to enjoy on the go.

Think of exercise as empowerment, not a penalty

Whether you need extra motivation to get moving or you can benefit from a reduction in your exercise routine, this point is important.

Exercise should be a source of strength and empowerment. Exercise should not be felt or seen as a punishment. If you’re struggling to find your rhythm with fitness, it can be easy to think of exercise as punishment.

Getting in shape isn’t exactly glamorous and it can be full of awkward moments. If you feel uncomfortable in your body — making new movements and are concerned about your appearance — you must understand that exercise is not about your appearance.

It’s about how you feel and the empowering moments that come with moving and building strength. Once you get to that “ah-ha” moment, working out is so much more rewarding.

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Your body speaks, listen to what it says

Our bodies are remarkable. They are incredibly intelligent and are constantly sending signals to us which we should listen to.

Tracking the signals our bodies give us and taking an intuitive approach to fitness is incredibly good for a better connection between body and mind. After your next workout, write down how you feel.

Do you feel full of energy? Low? Strong? Tired? Are you hurt? Have you noticed any models?

How your body feels after your workout provides important information that you should listen to. If a movement doesn’t make you feel right — aside from the occasional pain or muscle tension — adjust accordingly and move on to something that does.

“It took more than a day to put it on. It will take more than a day to take it off!”

It’s not about the speed, it’s about the journey

Your body will love you every now and then for going at a slow pace. For most of us, our lives are fast, on the go, and busier than ever. We have become so obsessed with what we think we know that we have completely forgotten to listen to our bodies.

If you hurt yourself all the time, chances are you are over-trained or something is wrong. Sometimes that intense workout is the last thing your body needs.

Keep in mind that the slowest workouts are sometimes the most intense and produce the best results.

Reward yourself for each success no matter how small

We are often so busy with being strict about ourselves that we forget to appreciate small victories.

Every time you set a new personal best, perform an exercise you thought you couldn’t do, praise yourself. Only then will you realize how far you’ve come instead of constantly striving to do more.

Recognizing the little things will make you fall in love with yourself and your relationship with exercise more than you can imagine. It changes your state of mind from lack to love.

Join the challenge

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Published also on Medium