How to be big in a world that isn’t? It’s a question I’m still struggling to answer. Every day I’m trying to convince myself that I belong here with the other half, the thin one. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pissed off at the world or anything like that. Not my style. I’m just super uncomfortable with the shape I have. I get the whole movement to feel at peace with yourself in any type of body, it’s so fresh and very 21st century, but I still can’t feel that way. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I see the beautiful woman everybody’s talking about? The one that I basically don’t see in the mirror?
Every time I see a poster with a beautiful half-naked woman on it, I feel out of place in a world that is mostly superficial. Where appearances are so important that you begin to lift your face at 35-years-old because there are three or four wrinkles on it. I don’t use makeup because I don’t like it. I don’t follow the fashion agenda most girls seem to have. And I don’t see why I should put anti-age creams on my face to keep a little bit longer the illusion that I don’t age. But still, I don’t seem to get the B&B: the big and beautiful!
The beauty cult isn’t profitable for us, over-sized people. For example, when you are with your friends at the bar and a guy comes in your direction. The last to be picked or even looked at, is the one with more weight. Sadly, I observed that myself more times that I can count. How does that made me feel? Empty! Every time! And I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this situation. I always had friends prettier that I am, or will ever be for that matter. So I was often, and still am, the third, fifth or seventh wheel. I lived in sadness and heartbreak most of my life. So depressing!
So now, dear readers, you’re probably saying, "LOSE WEIGHT!" That’s not that easy, physically and psychologically. It’s like stop smoking, you need motivation and more importantly, TO BE READY! You can try to stop 50 times and never succeed because you’re not ready to stop. In my opinion, it’s simple as that. When we are talking about loosing weight, it’s like a vicious circle :
- You exercise and eat well (You’re proud of yourself)
- You get discouraged, because there’s no signs of success (Don’t use the scale to much).
- You dive again in comfort food (Often not carrots and salad, more like McDonald's and Burger King and I really love to eat!).
- Finally, you restart from step one, and there goes the circle repeating itself over and over again (Hope you break it!).
Magic doesn't happen.
As many people like me, I’ve tried a bunch of «magic potions» to loose weight but never really succeeded. I was just failing over and over again. Nothing much to boost your self-esteem you’d say! The reality is that there is no such things as magic potions and miraculous weight loss, as much as they want you to believe that on TV. The only thing you can do is go to the gym, make yourself a nice weekly menu and make it happen!
One of the problem of this society is the "playboy-like" type of body. The one that every guy dreams to have in his bed. This kind of fantasy rarely include the "me-type" of body. So let me ask you this—are you a 100 percent comfortable with your love handles, your big belly and your not-so-thin thighs? If yes, I want YOUR magic potion, because at the end, you my dear, have succeeded!