Fitness Journal - My Struggle

So for those of you who have known me for a while now I have been on a fitness journey struggle. I have been wanting/trying to lose weight for the last two years but I have always struggled to do so, mostly because of the dieting aspect of it.

I have always loved food and I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love the joy that it brings, the feeling of happiness it brings, but I hate that it makes me gain weight. And being somebody below 5'5, any weight I put on will show. So it's been difficult to actually stick to something fitness wise. For example, I absolutely LOVE pasta. What's worse is that I love creamy sauces that have cups of cheese in them. I could literally eat Fettucine Alfredo all day. I'm also not a big fan of vegetables. I was never forced to eat them so I've never really eaten vegetables and I am starting to eat them and force them down so that I can reach my goal weight. I recently started eating broccoli, which is one of my no-no vegetables. It still makes me gag but I force it down. I just drink a ton of water afterwards to get the taste out. I'm still struggling to include vegetables but I am trying.

The other part is that I unintentionally skip out on the gym. I honestly do not mean to do it. When I come home from work, I'm mentally drained from always re-directing the kids because they don't want to listen (welcome to my life). My job is not physically draining but it can be pretty tiring. So when I get home I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to lay down and cuddle with my dog because she makes me feel better. And then eventually I just either stay there or I actually fall asleep. And when I wake up, my gym is closed and I can't go. I do try to stay active at home running after Lucy and taking her for VERY long walks, but I'm starting to understand that it's not enough these days. I realized that I actually have to get my butt up and actually go to a gym and move for once. So my new goal is to make it at least three times a week so I'm not wasting a gym membership that I am paying for.

Drinking water is also something that I struggle with. I prefer sweet, sugary drinks that will probably give me diabetes one day but I am trying to cut down slowly so I don't hurt myself in the process. I am trying to cut down to one soda a day and then the rest for water. This is probably going to be the hardest part for me. I mean, who doesn't love a soda every once in a while?

A lot of people are embarrassed when they struggle to get fit the first time. They feel like a failure and that they can't do it. Guess what? We all struggle with it. I've been trying for years and I've always settled because I wasn't seeing the results I wanted in the time frame that I wanted. I made the executive decision to actually get serious and actually take fitness seriously. That includes my diet and not using the "I'm tired from work cop-out" because then I'll just start using that for everything and I have a very, VERY bad habit of doing that. So don't worry if you're struggling, it's okay. Just keep working at it and eventually you will get to where you want to be and be happy with who you are both on the inside and outside.