Don't Chase the Blues Away
Feeling Sad is Healthy
“EVEN A HAPPY LIFE CANNOT BE WITHOUT A MEASURE OF DARKNESS, AND THE WORD HAPPY WOULD LOSE ITS MEANING IF IT WERE NOT BALANCED BY SADNESS. IT IS FAR BETTER TO TAKE THINGS AS THEY COME ALONG WITH PATIENCE AND EQUANIMITY.” – CARL JUNG
Today, I am wallowing in sadness and self-pity. And I plan on loving every single freaking minute of this self-induced pity party. I have got Jesse Collins Young playing on repeat on Amazon music (he always gets the tears going- his music is so damned beautiful), I have got my coffee made, am dressed in old pajamas, my hair in a top knot on my head, no make-up, and it will be a damned miracle if I even manage to brush my teeth. Leave me to suffer the magnificent and glorious beauty of feeling blue today! And yes, there will be tears at some point today. Maybe more than once. Definitely more than once.
Because it is normal and healthy to feel sad and blue once in a while. It is normal. It is not to be feared.
I do not need to have people trying to cajole me, make me feel better, lift me up, send me prayers and positive vibes. I just need to let the sadness out freely. And I need a good ugly cry with yesterday’s mascara running all over my face. And coffee, wine, and sad music. I will be fine. I promise.
What else do I need? I need quiet. I do not need judgement. I do not need concern or people worrying about me. I need to allow this emotion to just run its course.
Sadness is one of four major human emotions with the others being happiness, fear, and anger. All these emotions need to be experienced and balanced out in day-to-day life so you can live the way the universe intends. It is healthy to have a good ole “Cry Your Eyes Out and Feel Sad Day.” And by God, that is what I plan to do today.
We live in a society that values positive emotions above negative ones which denies us such a richness in our lives. We must experience all our emotions honestly and with appreciation. Our emotions provide the color to the tapestry of our lives. And we need to live the full range of our emotions to be able to respond to our own needs as well as the needs of others. As well as to fully live.
Unfortunately, sadness and/or “feeling blue” is not acceptable in our culture, and many people feel uncomfortable when they see someone feeling sad or blue. They automatically want to fix it, make the other person feel better, and make it go away asap, when in fact it just needs to run its course.
What should you do if you see your normally upbeat friend feeling a “little blue?” Just ask if you can sit with them. Do not try to make them feel better. Be quiet. Let them talk if they want. Hold their hand. Make them coffee. Bring them a glass of wine or a beer. And just let them wallow in sadness and self-pity for a while. Because it is healthy.
It is okay to allow yourself to be sad from time to time, and dammit I am going to enjoy feeling sorry for myself today! I plan to spend today exploring this wonderful, beautiful pain, and use the time to figure out what I really want right now. I do not NEED to be up all the time!
“Feeling blue” is simply being human. Enjoy it. Do not stress out about it.
- Julie O'Hara 2023
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Julie O'Hara - Author, Poet and Spiritual Warrior
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