Dear You,

Dear You,

How are you feeling today? Anxious?, overwhelmed?, stuck? I know those feelings all too well. If you have a moment, would you mind pausing for a minute to read this? Take a deep breath, and remember to keep breathing.

Sometimes, life feels as if it's moving at a thousand miles per hour and it's extremely difficult to focus on the current moment. It wasn't until a year ago that I realized the past 17 years of my life had gone by in what felt like 5 minutes. At the time, I was living on my own finishing my senior year of high school. I was constantly doing something with friends or focusing on what we were going to do the following day or even the following week. I was always on go mode. I never took time for myself. I was the living definition of fast, young, and reckless.

Once quarantine started, I moved back home away from everyone I really ever knew. At the time, I thought I was cursed having to spend so much time with myself and my parents. But now, I am eternally grateful. If it wasn't for being pulled out of that cycle, I think I would have crashed and burned mentally and physically.

These past few months of being home with myself I have struggled then bloomed. Some days flew by, others felt like an eternity. I have picked up a few new hobbies, some more fulfilling than others. I got really into collaging, and water coloring. I even ordered a banjo to learn, just because the sounds they produce bring me satisfaction. I found some things that grounded me and others that didn't. It's all about trial and error. Don't be afraid to try new hobbies! You never know what they will bring into your life.

Every night, I go on a walk by the marsh where the grass and reeds grow tall, and the crickets chirp. When my thoughts take over, and I can't seem to focus on the moment I think about the hours of Alan Watts I've listened to. I close my eyes and identify 5 sounds I hear. The frogs croaking on the bank, distant conversations from the people walking by, the trickle of water flowing downstream, the wind whipping through the tall grass, and wild horses neighing in the distance. Then I open my eyes and identify 5 things I see around me. The mountains growing darker as the sun sets itself behind them, the pool of tadpoles eagerly swimming, the wildflowers tickling my skin, the dragonflies skimming the water, and the horses galloping up the mountain. I find it helps ground me in the present. These things are happening, now.

"...as you hear sounds coming into your head, thoughts, you simply listen to them as part of the general noise going on just as you would be listening to cars going by, or birds chattering outside the window. So look at your own thoughts as just noises. And soon you will find that the outside world and the inside world come together. They are a happening. Your thoughts are a happening just like the sounds going on outside, and everything is simply a happening and all you are doing is watching it." - Alan Watts

So after reading this, I hope, my friend, that you find some clarity. I hope you slow down, breathe, observe, and listen. For some, staying present is as difficult as taking a test on something you know nothing about. For others, it comes naturally. Our brains all work in such different ways, but I hope you self reflect and find things that help you feel the most you in the moment.