Cats are proven to help humans deal with grief

After my husband died I reluctantly purchase a cat from a local shelter. I recalled how being given a puppy helped me move forward after the death of my great grandmother. At that time I was only 17 and had slept in the same bed with great grandma. Even so there were teenage things to think about like boys and dates so I moved along quickly without much thought. This time my husband , whom I had been with for 45 years passed away and I did not really think a cat could help but I decided to try.

The gray tabby I purchased is called Boots and after a few days he began laying on me as I slept on the living room couch. My husband came home in a hospital bed and was in the living room 2 weeks prior to his death. I slept on the couch to keep an eye on him and did not have the energy to go back upstairs. At first I somewhat resented the cat because he was doing what my spouse could not during the last 4 months of his life which was to be intimate. Boots would curl up beside me as I wrote articles and if I were resting he would sit in my lap. I began to wake up finding Boots asleep at my feet, between my legs, on my stomach or even my chest.

Instead of appreciating the kitty, I was sad that I missed intimate time with my spouse. I wanted my husband next to me as I slept and to feel his arms around me or his legs intertwined with mine. I kept telling myself that you can’t replace a human with an animal, but I allowed Boots to do his thing. I began to notice that my heart rate and blood pressure were more stable after Boots had been around for a while. I found myself enjoying the loud purring coming from my feline and it was relaxing.

I started thanking Boots and rubbing him as he lay on me and found this to be somewhat therapeutic. My 8 year old granddaughter said that Boots was trying to heal me because heard this on TicTok. I did a search and read several stories which validated this claim as well as close to 100 testimonies of people who said that owning a cat helped them emotionally and physically. I admit that having Boots around has given me comfort and is assisting me through this difficult time. I acknowledge, however, that he’s not a puppy and I’m not an innocent school girl.

I’ll soon be 63 and spent my life with one man from the time I was 17. It is only natural that my grief will be more difficult this time around. I recall the day we met and my future spouse gave me his bracelet and during the next 4 decades he was always buying me clothing, diamonds and other jewelry. He once gave me the down payment when I needed another vehicle. This was one way he expressed his love. He also liked to snuggle under the cover and hold hands in public.

No matter how much love my cat showers on me or how much I reciprocate, Boots will not replace the man I loved for 45 years and he is not supposed to. I am taking the approach of “ It is what it is” and allowing Boots to prevent or heal me of whatever he can. Some days my kitty keeps my mind away from the grief and on others he does not. I share this to bring balance so that some grieving human will not put their all into a feline and be disappointed with unrealistic expectations. This is my story on this day and tomorrow’s it may be different.

Some days I don’t want family around and other days I really need them. Boots is my indoor cat and now a part of the framework so to speak. His constant presence has been beneficial because feeding, grooming, and talking to him gives me something different to train my mind upon. Let me close by saying that if you don’t already like pets and especially cats, please don’t get one as an experiment. You would not want your grief to overwhelm you and resentment overcome you and you harm the animal in the process.

You also don’t want to become angry and take it out on the pet if your grief does not subside. I had been talking about getting a cat for a while but my husband preferred dogs. After he died our youngest son and I had many discussions before I made my choice. I’m an animal lover who had owned many dogs and cats over the years. I now must add my name to the list of those who have found cats to help them during times of grief because it is indeed true.