Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Our lives are like books- different words, different pages, and different chapters. With books, we often find that the start of a new chapter is the perfect place to put our book down, go do something else, and come back to it later. Much like books, we often get stopped in life as one chapter ends, and a new one begins. Is this the career I want? Who are my real friends? Do I want to live alone or with other people? Do I have time for a relationship? What am I doing with my life and why can’t money grow on trees?

The answer? Just breathe. No matter what is going on, you have to realize that everyone else in the world is writing their book and that they have been where you are. They may be in the middle of a chapter or nearing the end, but they too have had to start a new chapter. At some point, everyone needs to take a moment to regroup and spend time figuring out what they’re passionate about, what their purpose is, and who they want to take along on the amazing ride we call life.

You may feel insecure and confused. Making changes is scary and we don’t have any guarantees that we’re going to make friends at our new school, that our boss is going to treat us like a respected employee or that a lover isn’t going to break our hearts. These feelings are temporary. Will you experience them again in life? Of course. But as you write the rest of your chapter, you won’t have time to feel insecure or confused because you will be too busy living.

When I say living, I mean living for yourself. Doing what makes you happy. I know it’s easier said than done because we can’t all just quit our jobs and travel because we need money, but there are steps we can take to improve our happiness. First, start your day right. Whether it’s having a warm cup of coffee or tea, working out, or spending time with your kids or loved ones, spend the first thirty minutes of your day doing something that gets you excited for the day. Then, figure out one thing you want to accomplish. It can be big like going for a 10 mile run, or small like cleaning your room. Big or small, make a point of getting it done so you can go to bed knowing that you accomplished what you wanted and had a day well spent. Lastly, before you go to bed, reflect on your day and leave it there the minute you close your eyes. What’s done is done. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. Every evening, wipe your slate clean, and every day, make sure you mark it up with accomplishments.

So if you’re starting a new chapter, and it feels like you’re, well, between a rock and a hard place, my advice to you is this: breathe and be present. Too many of us are focused on what comes next. In high school we focus on getting into college, in college we focus on getting a job and once we have a job, we focus on getting through until the weekend. Now, as you are turning the page of your book from one chapter to another, is the perfect time to just stop and think about everything you have accomplished and how fortunate you are. Moments like this, when we appear to be stuck, are the moments when we find ourselves again and are able to live a life that makes us truly happy rather than one we think we’re supposed to be living for everyone else.