“Addressing Alzheimer’s”

All my life my mother was a very strong, capable, intellectually deft person. Until early last year, she was having trouble finding the right words, finishing her sentences, and often misplaced things. I was getting worried she may have Alzheimer’s disease.

But I was even more worried I would have to openly talk to her about it.

More than 5 million people in the United States have been diagnosed with the disease, but about a half of these cases have been left undiagnosed.

If you suspect anyone you love has Alzheimer’s, you should address it to them immediately. The reason that the 1/2 are left undiagnosed is because of fear to address the disease with loved ones who are exhibiting the key symptoms.

You may be fearful of offending that person, or you may not even know where to start. But early intervention may mean an earlier diagnosis and advanced treatment. But, if you are like me and nervous about bringing up the subject to a loved one, you are not alone.

One survey showed out of 1000 people, 76% are afraid to speak out because of fear of offending their loved one. Similarly, 38% of those people wait until the symptoms have become gradually worse before they seek discussion about it. Or maybe you are not familiar with the disease; maybe you are unaware of the symptoms.

But you are not alone.

There are several resources for you and your family to ease into the conversation about Alzheimer’s, as it is just not a normal part of aging.

Here are some of the steps you can take.

A person with early onset Alzheimer’s will have a delayed short-term working memory. They may begin to forget words, have trouble with finishing sentences, and misplace things all too often. They may repeat phrases and questions, while forgetting notable names or dates.

The person with Alzheimer’s will have difficulty planning and organizing or completing tasks at hand. They may find it difficult to follow a recipe or drive to a familiar destination, like to the library or getting back home.

They may also appear confused about activities that are not occurring in the immediate future. The person may also seem confused and disoriented towards once familiar surroundings.

The patient may experience social and professional withdrawal, marked by depressed mood swings. They may present personality changes which perhaps seem gradual or subtle, like poor decision making. Your loved one may exhibit symptoms like fearfulness and anxiety and find it harder to maintain a conversation.

A decline in vision, marked by difficulty speaking and writing are also key symptoms of the disease progression. Your loved one may find it hard to think of words, they may stop in mid sentence, use poor word choice, and have problems with vision and balance, making it harder to read or drive as perhaps once before.

Okay, so maybe you are concerned with your loved one’s behavior that may be difficult to bring up in a conversation, but there are a few things to keep in mind when addressing your loved one with Alzheimer’s.

How do I begin?

Remember it is never too early to have the talk; in fact, the sooner the disease is treated, the better the treatment process is in stopping the disease progression. If you see even the most subtle degree of symptoms, it is time to have the conversation with them by making sure they are safe and supported. Also keep the conversation positive!

What do I say?

It may be difficult to start the conversation, but you can ease into it by making them feel comfortable. Keep pressing on without pressuring them, then ease into it by taking your time and repeat yourself if need be. Take your time. Breathe. Then give them a chance to speak. Together, think of a possible plan for tackling the disease, but do not offer any medical advice; leave the rest to a doctor.

Instead, start the conversation with...”I’ve noticed you’ve had a harder time concentrating and completing everyday tasks, maybe we should get it checked out.” Or, “This isn’t the first time you’ve forgotten my name, let’s talk about it, then go see the doctor.”

So, when is the right time to see the doctor?

Once you’ve had the conversation with your loved one, the next thing to do is to contact your doctor, either virtually online or in their office by appointment. It is crucially important to have a third party healthcare professional to intervene so that your loved one will get the best care and have a better outcome while managing the disease.

Know the benefits.

One conversation can mean all the difference. It can lead to earlier diagnosis, disease intervention, better course of treatment for the disease. Although there is no cure for Alzheimer’s, the benefits of early detection include access to treatment and clinical trials. After seeing a doctor, they will administer drugs that will lesson some of the symptoms, like confusion and disorientation, and have access to potentially groundbreaking treatments in clinical trials.

A greater sense of understanding with lessened anxiety.

The sooner the diagnosis, the sooner the treatment. You, your loved one, your family and friends will be not only thankful, but they will be grateful that you sought early intervention during the early course of their illness. This limits the great amount of anxiety and sense of fear of the unknown. Better yet, it will bring an understanding of the illness to a very personal level and bring to light what the diagnosis means to you and to your family.

More to plan...

For me, Alzheimer’s disease is personal. It was hard to address my own concerns with my mother, who is in the beginning phase of dementia. I felt just as lost as she was. I was running circles in my own head, about what treatments are out there, how to love her now that she is living with this disease, how to support her during her new illness. It is a touchy subject, and like me, you don’t want to be offensive or come across aggressive by all means towards your loved one.

Trust me, I can relate.

Maybe it’s your mother, sister, or grandfather who may be suffering. Like me, you love them dearly and you are only doing your best to show them that you really care about them. Although they may seem like an entirely different person, they are the same person only with a disease. Sure, their reaction towards your approach may be startling or even a little threatening in nature.

But remember, you are there for them too.

Written by

J. J. Richards