27 Years Ago on Memorial Day Weekend

Yes, that is a long time. Over two decades. I have had type 1 diabetes that long. My glucometer average says I’m 163. I have all but eliminated middle of the night high blood sugar. Nobody told me I’m a brittle diabetic whose blood sugars fluctuate easily. Yes, I suppose I fluctuate and when I was on Zyprexa in college, this didn’t help. Zyprexa caused random spikes in my blood sugar. I’m working on getting my average to 135. I’m now 28 points away from this. What will my victory feel like? I don’t know.

It will be a great victory over any complication that could exist. I’m busy working on this. I have been working in the middle of the night blood sugars since I got on my Geodon. I’m winning a life-long battle. I mean I wind up with high blood sugar easily. It is all stress-related. I’m busy hatching plans to not be around when certain people show up. I want to take myself on a real vacation after I earn money to support myself with. As in, when I buy insurance that can give me a vacation renewal for my medication.

I’m making money and taking a huge vacation. I have six months to try to succeed. I’m working on this. Daily. So yes, I’m writing articles to publish. The disability limit is $2,000. I want to be able to make at least that much before I go on a long vacation somewhere depending on how long they show up. I have to pay the fee for the insurance sales gig that is flexible hours. I have to mind map all my options. I mean I want to make more money than I have. I applied for this one work from home gig I found on the Los Angeles Craigslist.

I will eventually make money. It is a matter of time. I mean I was ruled competent so I can take my medication daily. I am so close to the perfect middle of the nights. I’m seething with how much closer I feel I’m getting towards my goals. I’m going to succeed very soon. I want it real bad. I can show employers I have perfect diabetes. Actually, my medical record says I have no complications. I’m just that good at managing it. It took years of effort when I was a child to convince my parents I could do it myself.

Success is its own reward. I appreciate success. I’m very close. I want this success very badly. I don’t want to hit the plateau when my blood sugar creeps up again after successfully nailing it to be normal. It happens when I hit 160. I have a freak high for whatever reason. I don’t want this to be what happens next to me. I am working very hard to reach my goals here. A new medication like Lamictal might help with this. I really want a new medication, period. So if anybody has a problem with this in my family, they need to shut up.

I want to take a long vacation for myself when I do make money. I have earned it. I have also decided to buy myself a new laptop. But then again, this is risky business and I have to stash it at a friend of mine’s house where it will be safe from prying, gossip or cruelty. I mean I have work from home job advertisements galore in my Gmail account. Something will break in my job situation. I woke up at 6:30 AM today and it is now 8. So I’m working back towards my summer schedule and I want my winter schedule to be similar this year, as in, dinner at 4 PM. All I have to do is find a job compatible with my schedule that doesn’t cause me extra stress or other distractions.