Iria Vasquez-Paez

Sleep deprivation is something I have had to deal with my entire life, since the age of 1. I was a sleepless child growing up in Mountain View, CA where my family didn't notice my pediatric schizoaffective symptoms since they didn't think medicating a child was necessary. I wasn't even on baby SSI since my mother wasn't a US citizen but I was. Now I'm working on restoring my body's ability to sleep even if there was a time when I somehow managed to sleep the whole night. I'm not sure I've done that on occasion in the last 38 years of my whole life. When I wasn't on medication, I didn't think of sleep deprivation as something that had been done to me. I was not on medication, but I knew it was only my mother who could get me some but didn't bother. I wish I had emancipated myself or worked harder to get SSI back when my social security number got stolen in 2001 while I was on the bus. I was still on my parent's insurance and living at home back then, and these days I still live in my parent's house. It is high time to sell a business. Brain fog comes from untreated or poorly treated hypothyroidism, which was discovered in my 20s by an endocrinologist. I was on Zyprexa, and back then I got that from internists. Yes, never get medication from internists because it will backfire. They don’t know enough about mental health. The best type of doctor to go to is always a psychiatrist, I did that in 2012 when I hit 30 because I had had enough of being unstable, period. I had enough of my family interfering with my mental health treatment decisions. SSI helped me figure out a way to get treatment around my parents. The effects of sleep deprivation only happen when someone gets less sleep than they actually need. I feel I need something like 10-11 hours of sleep a night because of 22q. Sleep loss does not allow for focus on the environment and the sensory input that can cause. Sleep deprivation can cause tragic accidents from people flying airplanes, running ships, trains, or even cars. Sleep deprivation is never a good thing if someone manages a nuclear power plant. These days I do not have ongoing daytime sleepy feelings because I'm trying to do my sleeping at night. People who do not get enough sleep, yawn, feel tired, get moody, get depressed, (which is why taking medication helps a mentally ill person sleep. There is diffficulty learning, people forget things, and cause an inability to concentrate, there is clumsiness, a lack of motivation, even an increased need to eat with carbohydrate cravings as a number one desire. Lack of sleep causes a reduced sex drive in addition to everything else. Not getting enough sleep does weaken your immune system, which is why in childhood, I'd get many colds, or flus. Not sleeping well does your body serious harm. There is an increase in respiratory diseases, because sleeping less can also have harmful effects on body weight. Sleep deprivation causes insulin to be released, that results in increased fat storage, which can in fact, lead to type 2 diabetes. Sleeping well maintains blood pressure. How often in my thirties was I plagued by high blood pressure? It was a fact that happened many times until my endocrinologist noticed it. Not sleeping enough increases the risk of heart disease, while influencing hormones in both men and women but also it can mess with men's testosterone levels. So you see, sleep is necessary. Back in high school, my family had me convinced that not getting as much sleep as the next person was a superpower. Now I have that all sorted out, and know I need at least 10 or 11 hours sleep. Sleep deprivation is not good for you, it doesn't help you with much either. Alcohol does not actually help. I'm on so many medications and you wonder why my energy goes to my family, not to me? I'm going to sell a real business, make money, and escape to a nice spa somewhere, a bed and breakfast and spa with alternative medicine treatments available. De Works Cited https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/307334.php#effects

Gaslighting is rewriting reality to suit the needs of the person doing the gaslighting, because gaslighting is one pretty, nasty, little lie, and I have been gaslit by my family since I was born. One book I have called The Gaslight Effect, is incredibly useful to me since I put it on my iPhone, since one exercise recommended is about living 24 hours with only your own opinion in your head, and it is lovely that the book refers to gaslighting as the gaslighting tango since it takes two to tango with that. The term "gaslight," comes from an old movie from the 1940s, called Gaslight, which came out in 1944 and is about a woman whose crooked husband wants to steal her jewelry while he changes the lights around in order to make her feel crazy, when she isn't. The husband then isolates the wife from the outside world. Gaslighting is about making someone think something. It is about lying to them while coming up with your own version of what happened.

2020 is around the corner. I have many ideas I need to act on. This year is the year of making real money for me. I have tried to open sources of income. Transcription for Everyone is my new job, since they hire with limited experience. California AB 5 is a real bill that has impacted my life as a freelancer. My business is writing copy for Textbroker.com but they can’t pay me right now either since they are switching to Payoneer only because I live in California. So I must look for other sources of income or write more articles I need to publish. So my business idea is a social network for psychics. I have posted about this on my blog and it is time to tell other people my business ideas. I want to start this business because I feel it will make independent psychics money if they get paid to lower their prices.

Winter solstice is celebrated around the world quite often because not everybody celebrates Christmas. The Christmas holiday is a modern invention that was invented with the rise of capitalism in mind. It is why gift giving is emphasized but I’m not buying anybody presents this year. I’m pretty much done celebrating Christmas with my family since I have no money for presents anyway. Besides, they put me down, so I’m like, bye, not going to be there for that. My knee hurts anyway, I can’t go out late. The holidays cause me undue stress because I know my family is floored by the real truth. Christmas comes from Saturnalia, a Roman holiday that occurred around this time of year. Saturn was the God of agriculture and time.

I’ve been reading a book called The New Codependency. Help and Guidance for Today’s Generation. It is a good read from Codependent No More’s Melody Beattie. I’ve come to realize that blocking my mother on What’s App is a good solution as she picks fights on any Internet medium there is as a way to substitute picking fights in person. I realize through this book that I have to set boundaries by saying that I have to be treated a certain way or that person will not get communicated with. I will not tolerate being made to fight with this person for fun. It causes me stress, anxiety, and many a mental health problem blow out. I would go as far as to say that getting into a fight with someone triggers mania. Not even explaining that via a doctor’s note will sway my mother. Although I have contemplated getting my doctors to write letters to her, from primary care all the way down the list. I have tried time and again to set boundaries with my mother for goodness sake but nothing works.

Back when I was trapped in my codependent friendships, I felt that I was doing way too much work, which is why I dumped the ex in the first place. An ex friend was busy relying on me (female), to meet all of her needs. I wasn’t getting much in return. I was all too willing to help her at first but then I realized just how very manipulative she was being towards me. This is why I dumped her as a friend. I was busy letting her continue her self-destructive behavior. I was raised in a dysfunctional and ill family, of course. This is why it went that far. I have massively low self-esteem I’m working on. I’m terrified of moving to Los Angeles and starting school, and being so overwhelmed by my feeling of inadequacy that I start drinking again. I feel guilty about feeling good because of my medication while my family doesn’t do medication at all.