Who Are You Doing It For?

I just finished reading an article that was about different types of Parenting Styles and the potential outcomes for Children who live under those styles.

It also reminded me of a video game I played back in the day - Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords.

Both of these have a very interesting perspective on the role of Leaders with those they interact with.

They challenge their reader/player to think about what the consequences of their Actions will be for the people they Interact with.

If you are a Parent and you always Solve Problems for your Child, how will that Impact your Child's ability to handle Adversity as they get older?

If you are a Jedi and you ceaselessly give money to people in need, how will that Impact those people's ability to fend for themselves without you?

Both scenarios point to the likely Second Order Consequence that the Individual interacted with will learn Helplessness.

From the Psychological standpoint, both will get used to someone else taking care of their Problems for them.

If that "someone else" is no longer there, they will Suffer WORSE than if that "someone else" had never been there at all.

Without the Parent to solve Adversity, the Child will not know that it is within their own power to overcome it themselves.

If the Good Samaritan is not there to give money to the person in need, the person will not know how to survive.

Now, I'm not here to teach on Morals right now, whether you choose to solve your children's Adversity for them or give Money to the needy is 100% your business and not mine.

In fact, both scenarios are Hypothetical Situations, and there are SIGNIFICANTLY more factors in Reality that are not accounted for.

What I DO want to challenge you to think about though is, as a Leader, who are you doing it for?

If you are a parent who has a tendency to solve problems for your child - who are you doing it for?

Are you doing it because you are trying to make sure your Child doesn't Experience Pain?

Or are you doing it because "you" have a difficult time seeing your Child Struggle?

If you give money to those in need, do you do it to help support them so they can actually get back on their feet?

Or are you doing it because "you" feel guilty about not doing anything else to help those who could use help?

It can be extremely difficult to ask these kinds of questions.

Psychologically, we are also very good at "Masking" our True Intentions and finding ANY reason to Justify our Behavior.

However, it is by asking these types of questions that we can become better Leaders, and find better answers to the world's problems.

I would argue that it is a Leader's Responsibility to look beyond just themselves and look as far as they are able into the Second and Third Order Consequences of what they decide to do.

In the world, there are many "easy solutions" to problems that make us feel better about ourselves but don't "solve" anything.

In fact, most of those "easy solutions" create terrible Second and Third Order Consequences over time.

If those Second and Third Order Consequences end up making things significantly worse, was the original Action good at all?

If you look at the state of the world, I'd say that it is likely those Actions aren't good at all.

There are many Businesses that only Focus on First Order Consequences that have done terrible things in the world - Such as Focusing on "Profit".

There are many Politicians who push Money in "Solutions" that only solve First Order Consequences - The Politician "Looks" good as the situation only worsens.

There are many Parents who only Focus on the First Order Consequences of what will happen to their Children - Only for those Children to Struggle when their Parents aren't there to solve their Problems for them.

Who are these Leaders doing it for?

Are the Businesses Leaders "actually" doing it for their Customers?

Are the Politicians "actually" doing it for the Causes they claim to Support?

Are the Parents "actually" doing it for their Children?

Or are they all "actually" just doing it for themselves?

If you are a Leader, and you "actually" want to do it for others, you must look beyond the "Immediate".

You have the Responsibility to go into those Second and Third Order Consequences.