The Aquarian on Keeping Your Words to Yourself Sometimes

***This is a journal entry, so I realize this includes run-on sentences and grammar errors. Maybe this piece shouldn't be shared, either.***

The Aquarian on Keeping Your Words to Yourself Sometimes

Sometimes, as creative geniuses, we get caught up in the great expression of our own words. We all love to hear the adoring, positive feedback for our creations, but sometimes we need to take a dose of reality and remember that not everything we express should be released into the world. Sometimes, our masterpieces are only meant for ourselves.

Just like we learn that everything we think doesn’t need to be spoken, everything we write doesn’t need to be shared.

I wrote something the other day that was an angry rant about someone in my personal life. That, in itself, is not a terrible thing. I mean, writing is about being vulnerable and getting a bit personal, right? But after I shared it publicly, I just didn’t feel good about it. It was vicious and vengeful and just not a piece that I wanted to represent me, nor did I feel good that anyone who felt close to that person might see it and be offended at things I said. I think it made me come across as an angry, vindictive person. That is not who I want to be, but it seems I handed over my power for moment, and that’s how I presented. It was something I needed to get out. To express. It was cathartic, but it should have remained in my “never to see the light of day” folder. It wasn’t that good anyway.

I think we all go through that phase in our writing where we let emotions take over in an unflattering way - especially if we’ve been writing since we were a kids, as I have been, and writing words becomes a way of making sense of the world.

Writing to understand is a good practice, but sometimes it’s best kept for yourself. It’s a learning process, though - figuring out what to keep and what to share - so don’t be too hard on yourself when you go back and look and see works that you feel you never should have shared. Sometimes, those are the works most beneficial to learning.

I’ve been writing long enough that I should know better. I usually do, as I have posted a lot of things I shouldn’t have in the past, but apparently, sometimes my emotions get the best of me and skew my judgement. Oh, well. Live and learn! Writing is forever a learning process - for becoming a better human as well as for becoming a better writer. We can kick ourselves repeatedly over a less-than stellar moment, or we can use it as an opportunity to learn how to do better in the future.

After a harsh word or two with myself, I chose the latter.

What I Learned:

I have spent many years developing my individual voice. This is a reminder to me to take a step back and re-evaluate each piece of work before I share it. I must ask, does it portray my message and my voice the way I want? Not every piece will be perfect, maybe none will be, or are, however, I can’t learn if I don’t share, but it’s important to be mindful about how I use my words. And that’s all up to me.

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KJ Aartila grew up in a small, rural community surrounded by animals and family. She, along with her husband and daughter, horses and other pets, now live on 40 acres in Northern Wisconsin, surrounded by forest and wildlife. She has spent her life reading about, writing about and working with animals, her goal always to be as reliable, trustworthy and honest as a horse, but her innate humaness keeps getting in the way. She remains determined to keep trying, though.