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No Wine, No Light, No Happiness - vember

Just NO

By KJ AartilaPublished 4 months ago 3 min read
10

No Wine, No Light, No Happiness - vember

Well, my fellow Vocalites, I’m still here. As a Vocal Plus member. Why? Because apparently Vocal likes me so much, they just won’t let me go! No, really – I went into my settings and thought I canceled the auto-renew. It seems by some twist of fate, the platform didn’t accept my cancellation as of October 30 and have renewed me for another year! That’s until October 30, 2024. I checked. It works now. When I contacted them yesterday, the bot Remy responded that they don’t do refunds. That wasn’t what I asked.

Maybe this applies:

So, okay. Surprise! Maybe it’s a sign (or a bad omen.)

The first scary movie I saw was “The Omen.” I was around ten. I was hooked on horror but traumatized.

Since I am so not into fighting with customer service robots, anymore, I decided to just go with it – well, until they maybe do decide to take away my “privileges,” so as long as I’m here, I figure I may as well make it worth my while.

It appears I have about a snowball’s chance in Hell of placing in a challenge, and not likely to hit any more Top Stories, that means I must post a lot. Like a lot, a lot! And I’m not into intentionally posting “junk” just to get reads. My Journal category entries especially suck, though. I have many of those. I guess I also need to find some groups for my stuff. So far, I have not had great luck with that option, finding limited appropriate opportunities that fit my writing and getting banned and stuff, but a quitter I am not! Stupidly stubborn, I may be.

The funny thing, to me anyway, is I have 325 subscribers which leads to approximately 10-15 reads per post. Unless I hit a Top Story, then it’s like 50-100. That means I can count on receiving reads from less than 5% of my subscribers. That’s a very sad numbers game, my friends, and that percentage has remained about the same over the last year, regardless of a period of massive growth in my subscribership. A math whiz I am not – numbers can be very misleading, so, who cares? Oh, right – banks and investors.

So, for better or for worse, I’m still here.

But I’ve decided to take on the attitude of my cats regarding reciprocity – No Mercy! As in, “If you let me live in your house and feed me good stuff every two minutes, I won’t claw your eyes out. Maybe. But maybe I will and then bawl at you cuz you’re not feeding me.”

I wrote this one a while ago. No one cares. Neither do I. If you read my stuff – great! If not – great! Feed Me.

Every man, or cat, or writer for themselves.

Meow.

And just for funsies, here’s another “oldie, but goodie”:

Warning: Careful what you wish for.

Okay, maybe AI, maybe Link Bombing might work? Nah, I won’t go there – I promise.

Thank you for investing your time in reading my snarkiness (*stay tuned for more!) – carried on after looking at my reflection and snidely wondering if I should present myself with my beginning turkey-neck or double-chin? Oh, the choices that abound with age. I’m showing my “attitude of gratitude.” I dare you to share yours. Oh, is that a challenge? So be it! Blame No-vember, and the cats …

If you have a moment, read my stuff – if you don’t, don’t – I won’t read yours, either.

Remember: “Just Say No!”

Vocalsatirehumanity
10

About the Creator

KJ Aartila

A writer of words in northern WI with a small family and a large menagerie.

My Substack

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Comments (10)

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  • Suze Kay2 months ago

    Lol so glad you posted this. I would have torn my hair out over that! Well, another year - hopefully in which you see growth and some peace on this platform. Or not. Meow!

  • Heather Hubler4 months ago

    Yeah, I hear you about fighting with customer service anymore...almost not worth the hassle, buuuttt so happy that means you're here a little longer. I'm in the same boat sort of. Happy to read your snark! It always makes me laugh and fires me up :)

  • I’d hate to see you go. I get the frustration over the challenges. I’ve kind of taken the cat approach myself with those. Selfishly I’m glad you’re here for another year I enjoy your work

  • Test4 months ago

    I guess I better check our cancelled renewal. Not until March, and we got an email confirmation... but that's a sneaky way to keep members. Shame on Vocal. Enoyed the snarkiness 💙Anneliese

  • Yayyyy I'm so glad you're back! Although it's against your will, lol! And I had no idea Remy was a bot. Thought he was human. Lol

  • Personally, I would continue messaging Remy explaining that I did cancel but for some reason they didn't accept it. That & remind them of what legal letterhead looks like. But if you prefer, snarkiness it is. And I assure you I will enjoy every bit of it, lol. (And yes, I do still hope to get to your other writings.)

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Well done!!! KJ, you got that right about reciprocity!!!

  • Nice to see you back Keila... And in such wonderful snarky form!!!

  • Mother Combs4 months ago

    Thanks for sharing this with us. I tend to agree with you about the reciprocity.

  • Cathy holmes4 months ago

    “If you let me live in your house and feed me good stuff every two minutes, I won’t claw your eyes out. Maybe. But maybe I will and then bawl at you cuz you’re not feeding me.” Bahahaha. The accuracy is astounding. Welcome back, even if it is somewhat reluctantly.

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