I Have a Serious Question for You: How the F*ck Have You Been Doing This For so Long?

I picked up my first real job back in Apr 2021 and I gotta admit, when they asked me what I wanted my hours to be and I told them working Mon-Thurs, I didn't think I was going to get that. They gave that schedule to me. I worked with that schedule for about a year and a half, then transitioned into working only 3 days a week. My roommate used to warn me that it would not be a good idea to transition from 4 days a week to 3, because then I'll start treating those 3 days as a "I just have to get through these 3 days"--but that didn't happen to me. Knowing full well that the evening of the 3rd day of work was free, and with 4 days of freedom to follow, I enjoyed that. I never worked a full 40-weeks at my job and I live minimally. It's been the best choice ever to have all this time to myself to enjoy my leisure time freely and use it as a means to find other ways to make a living; like Vocal, and of course, any other career options as well.

Trading stability for flexibility/freedom. I'm lucky enough to be in academia, where I work harder than hard for 9 months and then have a long break where I hope to catch up with my projects. In recent years, I've learned how to carve out time during the academic year for things like knitting, furniture refinishing, and writing. If I don't meet my own deadlines and goals I feel like a failure so it forces me to be productive. But it does take a lot of discipline and determination and I'm thrown off by curve balls too often. I hope you find something that truly works for you.

Wow this piece I can relate too, and I think that others can relate as well. But for some; an 8 hour shift is the only possible way to survive on this planet. Money has literally taken over everything. As the years go buy, everything is increasing in price making living harder.

Wish I could answer, however I haven't worked anywhere longer than two years because of exactly what you're going through. Not just that but, I'm a bit of an introvert so the mundane yack of office chatter bores me and having to befriend people I have nothing in common with feels draining. Nothing wrong with them, I just really really love my own space and my own time. The perks of a job are great and my kids would be well taken care of, but my mental health, especially as an abuse survivor, is way too grand. So I pray you figure it out and again, I wish I could advise you but perhaps you figure it out too. Till then, Aluta Continua

Camping in Frances that’s sounds something to look forward to, why you are working 40 hours a week. I hope you have the weekend free. I used to have two jobs , I honestly did not know how I did it .

8 months in my first full time role and I feel this 1000%. The transition from a part time student with no prior work experience to full time work has drained my soul. Coming from someone who works in a digital marketing role, it has impacted the way I am able to be creative outside of work. I'm living it day by day but it has been rough on my mental health. The world is not a forgiving one and we need money to survive unfortunately... There's only so much you can do and appreciate what I have done. I have gained the ability to earn money and it has allowed me to do things that I have wanted to do so far. It's a schedule that I don't mind doing but I think I will quit to travel for a bit before I get on the capitalism wheel again.

When I got my first office job I stopped drinking as I get terrible hangovers and couldn't bear spending half to one full day in bed when I only had TWO precious free days not in the office! But eventually I started drinking again to forget the stress of the job! You get used to it :) Although I've left office life and am a teacher now...

From another 27 year old, em - I hear ya.👏🏻😭 Any time I've gotten a new job, my writing takes a massive hit for at least a couple of months. Sometimes I find myself needing to put less pressure on myself in those moments, other times more, lol. It's all a dance and everybody's looks a little different. ❤️ I'm happy to see this as a Top Story, and I'm so excited to read more from you! This is a wonderful and honest piece that opens up an important discussion about burn out. I'm happy you're finding your balance/groove! I'm sorry you are exhausted - it's truly incredible how much energy a job can wipe out. 😭❤️We are here rooting for you! 👏🏻 You got this. ❤️

It doesn’t surprise me you’ve made money from freelance writing. You’re a natural. I have spent parts of my life working full time, doing manual labor for minimum wage and having no choice—but, I’ve spent the majority of my life refusing to do a traditional job. Just literally refusing, because I’d rather be homeless (and I have been before). Office jobs are even worse. I don’t like sitting still. I’ve had many jobs that were so fun I’d absolutely do them for free. Those were the jobs I made the most money at. People have been envious of me, not knowing the hell I went through before deciding to live life on my terms. My advice? Pray. Then look for signs. Once you make up your mind that you want and deserve to be paid to do whatever you feel like doing, and there’s no cognitive dissonance–you truly feel that way–the divine will handle the details. The way I magically fell into job opportunities was a matter of me lining up with my destiny by claiming it. Prayer is consent. Consent, and observe. Your path will be illuminated.

What I can tell you as I read during my lunch break which for me is 30 minutes is schedule the time to write and read. I agree with you that time is biggest commodity but unfortunately money to pay the bills is a necessary evil. Schedule in the writing though. It takes practice and believe I didn't do for many years but now can't wait until my workday is done so I have a glass of wine or tea, open up my laptop and write. ❤️Great article and I love the humor you add in

Share your sentiments so deeply. IS there an answer? I hope so. Love your philosophy on life and this line in particular was one of my faves: "The more time experiencing and exploring and existing  -  the lifeier your life." I hope you can find a way back to doing what you love so you can live full time. As a side note, you are a very talented writer and I enjoy reading your work SO MUCH! Congrats on top story!

This is an important discussion. Unfortunately, I do not have answers that I think will actually help you. I hope someone does. Personally, I cannot do the 9-6 thing ever again. I wish you more than luck. I wish you a solution that works for you.🤞

60-70 hours per week, no guaranteed vacation time, on-call 24-7-365. Nope, haven't gotten it figured out, not even in retirement.

I wish I was brave enough to quit my 8-4 job and experiment with freelancing. But I'm not. I've never been picked for anything, there's no hope that I'd be picked as a freelancer. Plus the uncertainty and related stress would very likely kill me. Hopefully you find some peace in your new work :) or go back to doing what makes you happy.

Speaking as one of those people who had their first full time job at 17 years, your job actually sounds like paradise compared to what I had. When I wasn't in school, I was a work. When I graduated about four months later, I worked almost every day. It drained the life out of me and screwed with my mental health so much that I am still dealing with the aftereffects two years after leaving the job. The job I have now is so much better. I have almost free reign with my schedule and have the capability of working at home as long as the internet is working. It is still a 40 hours of week kind of job, but after having to deal with long grueling hours, I much prefer my present job.

I worked in the office for 10 years 9 to 6. I was almost exhausted and it doesn't matter that I liked the job, because it was really the organization, the continuous dealing with colleagues and customers, telephones, emails and so on, for not to mention the train ride there and back... Now I've been doing freelance work for the last 11 years... with less money certainly, more worries about economy and another kind of stress to find clients, but it's absolutely priceless! I feel younger now than when I was thirty! You are young anyway. If you need this job for financial issue, hang on for a while, put the money aside, and regroup for what's next. When I started planning to quit, everything looked brighter!

Congrats on your top story!

I had a crisis about two weeks in. This was in 2017, so a vast majority of us commuted every day, and that didn’t help anything. I remember sitting behind the wheel of my car and going “I can’t do this for another 40 years.” I talked myself down by saying “Who said anything about 40 years? Just make it 12 months and take it from there.” Fast forward another six months, and you’ll be surprised how natural things feel. Not that anything is magically better, but you now know what to expect and have adapted to the lifestyle. In that stability, you can start to find moments of calm and joy again. Or maybe this all really means I’m completely washed now 😅

It's struggle for which I, unfortunately, have no answer. I agree time is our most valuable commodity. Hang in there. You'll figure it out. Congrats on the TS.

Not nice to go thru , but got you a Top Story , congratulations

As you say, "There are those out there doing what they love for a living. Working hours of their own choosing in places calling them home." That's me every day!! I don't earn as much as I should, but I'm happy as a skylark, and that's most important for my quality of life. Great story, em, and well done for getting the top post! :)

Yay! Coming around again to congratulate you on the Top Story!

Dear em; aka ~ Current-Clock-Puncher ~ Now with Juicy Coworker Gossip - when, of course, you are not the subject of the day - "Money is Power" can be 'Trumped' as 'Having Money is just one less thing you have to worry about' and off to French-Pup-Tenting for you and Ben. - You are a Terrific Writer - Jay Kantor

I can't do it either, Em. As a single mumma for many years, who was working and studying full-time, I neglected my true creative self and never felt more disconnected. I basically lived on auto pilot and fell into bed each night, exhausted and dissatisfied. I ended up very sick (both mentally and physically) and suffering chronic pain and immobility. I now have an autoimmune disease that causes arthritic flares and spinal and hip fusion, and stress is one of its main triggers. And since I have CPTSD already, a stressful job would only see my disease advance. So here I am writing, making a go of it professionally, and actually getting results... and I've never felt better. My humble advice is to listen to what your soul is telling you... what it sounds like you already know. Do what works for you. Because your comment on your time being the most valuable thing is so damn true. x

Hang in there, Em!!!