Dear Dad,
I remember as a kid the incredible kindness and understanding you often showed me, even when I didn’t deserve it. You knew somehow that is what I needed; you were my everything even when I didn’t understand you. Sometimes you would get angry and fight with mom and as a child you don’t know that pain until your older and you fall in love with someone yourself. The moment I knew you were my best friend was when I would constantly steal your candy even when you told us not too. I would take a bunch and hide them in my clothes then go outside and eat them. You found me once and you started laughing, I was a little scared you get mad at me. But you didn’t. Chooch as you would say, while laughing, just ask next time. I never asked. And you always understood that I couldn’t help myself. You were more than just my dad, my hero, you were my moon and stars. I looked up to you and listened to every word you told me even when it took forever. But what I always knew in my heart was that you had a love for me, for your family like no other. When we didn’t understand you anger It was always because you wanted to protect us like no other man I’ve ever known. As I got older, the more I understood you and the more I wanted to be like you. Because you saw everyone for who they were and loved them for it. You knew how to love strangers and us like it was the ultimate gift. You laughed your way through your pain and drank to wash it all away. You drank to enjoy yourself not to hurt yourself or anyone. You hated the jobs you had because you demanded people get respect and when you or someone else wasn’t getting it, it made you livid. It was so hard for you, the way the world started to work. You rather live out in the wilderness and chop down trees then live in the world that has become fake. You were the realest person, and you shared everything you thought and felt with everyone with so much courage and conviction. I loved watching you grow into a man that became so loved Its all these things and more that made you the great man that you are and always will be. Toward the end we all wanted a miracle, we wanted you to stay with us so badly. It has taken me now to realize as I write this that who you were to us was that miracle and the way you loved mom at the end, in between, and the beginning of your guys life together was admirable. As hard as it got for you, you fought so hard to be with us. You’re not just my hero, but everyone’s hero who encountered your life and got to know you. A true man of who he was and what he stood for. I wish I could’ve told you all of this, but I know you hear me, and I know you know that I loved you with everything I had. You once told me that everything in life has purpose and everything you do is purposeful. So, do it with everything you got, and you will be rewarded. You never know what tomorrow will bring you and you taught me to live life unapologetically you. I sit here in my room realizing that I have to go on, I know you’ll always be my everything and most likely one of the few men I will ever truly love, and have it reciprocated in a way that fulfills my every being.
About the Creator
Cerina Galvan
I’m an active writer who dreams of writing tales that inspire people.
Keep reading
More stories from Cerina Galvan and writers in Journal and other communities.
The Real Me
I’m not someone who easily loves herself, most girls have felt this way. But for me, it was something that turned out to be a horror story before I realized who I really was. Let me start off by saying this isn’t a story about realizing I’m beautiful the way I am. It goes much deeper and scarier than that. I had to meet the darkest parts of myself and that was a nightmare. It was more than insecurity that consumed my self-destructive nature. You see, I believe myself to be an empath, an old soul, a person who is consumed by their own darkness and others. Before I get into the story, I just want to warn you this one is a bit dark. I’m not sure how it started but my mom told me I would tell her stories growing up about a man following me. She kept her eye out but then it got old. She thought I was lying until I turned 24. This man I was talking about, who followed me was a shadow in my mind. Or as I started calling him, Satan. I was living with someone who grew to be my best friend. I started thinking self-destructive thoughts while I was with her. I would like to add that I was also going to school and working at the time. Trying to find my place in this world. The shadow man, I don’t remember as a kid. He must have lasted only for a brief while and then vanished. I think that as a kid, I would find myself feeling alone and abandoned all the time. I knew I was different, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. It was a natural instinct. Once, I felt this way. My insecurities took over my mind and I think that’s when the shadow man would visit me. This time he visited me when I was 24, in love, infatuated, and obsessed. I was obsessed with not being alone and being with this person that showed me the darkest parts of myself. Once that happened, after a stressful fight we had about me being into someone else. I heard a voice in my head, very loud, and strong, tell me to go outside. It was like it was something that was going to save me from my thoughts. I had thoughts like She’s a witch, her mom’s a witch, there all witches and they are planning to destroy me. The mom went to Mexico to put a hex on me. I must get out! Making up stories in my head is a thing that I’ve always done not so healthy. That was one I can remember thinking; I took things people told me and twisted it in my head. It can be dark, scary, and lonely when all you know is the dark thoughts in your head to be the basic stories you tell yourself. I wasn’t always telling scary stories in my head but at this time in my life they became obsessive. I think it was an escape from reality, reality was hard for me to face at this time. I couldn’t for the life of me stay in a classroom as a paraeducator, no one wanted me, or felt I was good enough. School, well it was a lot of work, and I was taking classes that involved a lot of my time. I just couldn’t find a happy place to be in. Especially in my relationship, I was an away from home for the first time. My first long relationship was a toxic one. So, I lost it. When I went outside after hearing the voice, it immediately told me it was God and that I was the chosen one. When I came back inside, I had no idea it would become a dark beginning to a journey that would lay ahead. Satan’s daughter is here! It said. I didn’t know that it meant Satan’s daughter was my girlfriend at the time. I was terrified of her, like she really was here on earth to destroy me, the chosen one. I made her get up out of bed and started yelling and clapping in her face calling her all kinds of names that a “Satan’s daughter” would be called. The unfortunate thing is that, I had no remorse. I seriously thought I had to do this. Destroy her! The voices help shouting in my head. All that I knew was that here I was standing in front of someone I loved demeaning them of who they were. It wasn’t all dandelions and roses between us. She was constantly degrading me of my character before I went insane. It was like my mind couldn’t take it anymore, so I finally did the same back. She was so upset she started hitting the wall. Yelling at me back, “You’re so weak and immature” “Get out!”. I was like in my mind this isn’t working, so the voices in my head said Once you leave, she’ll have no one and then she’ll die like she’s supposed to. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I started walking back and forth talking to the voices trying to convince God that there must be another way. Leave now! The voices shouted. I didn’t want her to die, so I stayed. She told me to get in her car and that she was taking me back to my family. She didn’t want to deal with me any longer. The ride was silent but, in my head, the voice of God was mad at me telling me I messed up and that I should’ve left. Luckily, I didn’t. I wouldn’t have gotten the help I needed from the streets. I had to say goodbye to her, Satan’s daughter, even though I was afraid of her. I left and went inside; it was night-time, and I saw a black shadowed man talking to me It’s Satan! The voices said. I got up from the couch and yelled at him telling him to go away, telling him that I was the chosen one. It began to talk to me, telling me that he was here to talk my family. I said no, take me instead. “You’re worthless!” it shouted. It was in this moment I realized that I didn’t care for myself and even if it was real, I would have given myself away to it. It told me it was going after my sister and I pleaded it to take me. it proceeded to tell me I was worthless. So, it disappeared and ran into my sister’s room where I followed it and then I told her it was inside of her. She awakened, scared, and confused. She ran to my parent’s room because I was acting possessed, she said. The next day, I ended up in an ambulance and then the crisis center which eventually I was taken to a psych ward. I got on medication and it slowly helped me get back to a normal state of mind. I still struggle with negative thoughts and anxiety. However, what this experience has taught me is that no matter how far down a dark hole I get. I’m able to bounce back and become even more resilient. If I didn’t have the ability to become resilient in this situation then I would be in a very bad place.
By Cerina Galvan2 years ago in Humans
Sabotage
Lately I’ve been in a funk where everything can be going right. You know I’m in a happy place talking to who knows, I’m at peace and feel like everything is just going great you know. But once I start seeing that everything is going great for some reason I need to sabotage it. I need to sabotage my happiness and what I have going on in my life so no one else is able to do it for me. Does that make sense? Am I the only one who gets this way?
By Merjaunie Lena19 days ago in Journal
Macron worried about EUROPE
Have you noticed how different countries end their speeches? In the US, lawmakers say "God Favour America," in India, "J rear significance hail India," in France, "VI La France," and in Saudi Arabia, they praise God and His Prophet Muhammad in different ways, but all express the same belief that their country and culture endure forever.
By Andreas Ntsamba 5 days ago in Journal
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.