Attachment And Non-Attachment In Our World

Anyone who knows me and follows my work knows that I think a lot - Perhaps more than is good for me.

I was reading a couple of different articles today and something struck me.

One article was about a high-profile person in a position of Leadership, and the article made me extremely sad for them.

Someone who was successful from a worldly perspective, but was lost in other ways.

The other was an article that was talking about being wary of the dangers of Attachment and called for Non-Attachment.

I was struck deep at my core around this Idea.

A part of me understands this call to Non-Attachment.

There are problems with certain types of Attachment.

When you are overly Attached to people, it can be hard to move on when they pass away or decide to go in different directions from you.

There is also a problem with being Attached to the point of Helplessness, where you cannot survive without the other person.

As the Psychologists call it, Learned Helplessness.

These forms of Attachment are extremely detrimental.

However, I also looked at this other person whose life made me feel so sad.

I realized that part of the reason was that they seemed to embrace this idea of Non-Attachment extremely well.

They were Detached from so many aspects of life.

It wasn't that they didn't have many things, including family and a significant other.

Rather, the way they talked about the world revealed they were Detached in so many ways.

It made me think of a curse - to have and know everything, yet feel like you have nothing and are still missing so much.

I have seen so many people who are Not Attached to Life, and I have heard their cries for something else.

When you dive into Science, we also find that Humans are social creatures.

We cannot Thrive unless we are in communities where we have Attachments.

So it is also true when I look at my own life.

I don't understand how Non-Attachment is a good thing.

The best parts of my life come from the things that I have an Attachment to, a Connection.

My Faith, My Family, even my work!

All of these things are magnified because I have a deep Connection and Attachment to them.

They give me Purpose, and they fuel me to continue to get better and do better things in the world.

Even as I write this Article, and the other 300+ Articles I have written this year alone!

My Attachment to the process of Writing and to continuously challenge myself and Create Better Ideas is a huge source of meaning in my life.

I have also dwelled within the bad aspects of Attachment.

I have been to the point of being overly Attached to certain things in ways that had me considering my life had no value.

I truly considered at points in my life to end it all.

I also have sat at the other extreme, where I was attached to nothing at all.

I found those experiences suffocating, and the void of nothingness provided no comfort.

If anything, I found those experiences to be worse.

I realized that there is something missing in this discussion.

Attachment and Non-Attachment as they are generally discussed are not two choices we are forced to pick.

Rather, they are misnomers for a spectrum that exists.

There is not one type of Attachment.

Rather, you have two ends of this Spectrum...

One side is Adverse Attachment, where remaining at that end causes us harm.

On the other side is Non-Attachment, where we have nothing which also causes us harm.

However, the middle is where we should seek.

I am calling this Regenerative Attachment.

Connections are not inherently bad.

The things that we are Attached and Connected to should be a part of a Reciprocal Cycle.

You give to the Attachment, and it in turn gives back to you.

As the process continues, it becomes a Virtuous Cycle that strengthens both parts.

It becomes Regenerative to everyone involved.

When this becomes mismanaged, we begin to have problems.

When one side is taking without giving back and we have Adverse Attachments, we have problems.

When we are not Attached at all and are receiving nothing, we also have problems.

It is when we find that Regenerative Attachment that we Flourish.

When we create many Regenerative Attachments, those types of Connections, we Develop a Regenerative Legacy.