Vocal
The Mathematics Are Clearly Not Mathing
Humanity has accomplished some impressive things. We have split the atom, mapped the human genome, landed machines on Mars, photographed black holes, and created tiny computers powerful enough to access virtually all accumulated human knowledge while sitting on the toilet.
By The Pompous Post3 days ago in Humor
Beasts of Burden
There was a time when romance required very little infrastructure. At twenty-three, you could meet somebody at a party, stay out until two in the morning, eat something from a food truck whose health inspection certificate appeared to have been printed during the Carter administration, and then fall asleep on a couch containing three failed springs and a decorative pillow shaped like a beer can. You woke up six hours later feeling terrific, and went to work without showering.
By The Pompous Post7 days ago in Humor
Sax And Violins. Content Warning.
Introduction I wasn't sure what this piece was going to be. It is about plays on words, innuendo, and more, but would be a playlist, a poem, a story, or just some observations and I think it will be the final one with one or two songs thrown in.
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 18 days ago in Humor
The Bionic Herald Declares War on the Gray Lady
On my first day at The Bionic Herald, I was told three things: Never mention “clickbait” in front of the editor-in-chief. Never praise the New York Times within earshot of the copy desk. And never, under any circumstances, ask why the office espresso machine is labeled “Pulitzer Fuel.”
By The Pompous Post21 days ago in Humor
Four Things Humanity Has Never Properly Explained
Human civilization has accomplished some remarkable things. We split the atom. We landed people on the moon. We built machines capable of seeing galaxies billions of light-years away. Somewhere, at this very moment, scientists are using supercomputers to model the origins of the universe. And yet, three plastic clothes hangers placed side by side in a closet can still form a knot that no living mathematician could explain.
By The Pompous Post24 days ago in Humor
An Investigation Into the Private Behavior of Otherwise Respectable Adults
Human beings are dignified creatures. We wear clothing. We use silverware. We attend meetings. We shake hands. We say things like, “Wonderful seeing you again,” even when we have absolutely no recollection of who we're talking to. Civilization depends upon maintaining this image. But civilization has one enormous weakness: sometimes we're alone... And the moment a human being becomes reasonably certain nobody is watching, approximately 40,000 years of social development disappears.
By The Pompous Post28 days ago in Humor
Is Reading on the Toilet Still a Thing?
There was a time in America when entering someone's bathroom meant being granted access to their private literary collection. Nobody discussed this. Nobody questioned it. You simply walked into the restroom, locked the door, sat down, and discovered that your host had thoughtfully provided enough reading material to survive a minor gastrointestinal emergency.
By The Pompous Postabout a month ago in Humor
The Day that Hell Froze
Everyone says that they will do something "when hell freezes over," and they mean that as a way to say that that will never happen. This story starts the day right before, in my mind, hell froze over and is about what happened to me on that day.
By Adora Hooperabout a month ago in Humor
Things We All Pretend We Know How to Do
There comes a point in every person's life when you realize something deeply unsettling about adulthood: nobody knows what they're doing. As children, we assumed adults possessed information unavailable to us. They understood mortgages. They could balance a checkbook without asking anyone for help. They knew which wrench to use and the names of both screwdriver types. (Phillips, flathead) They could determine whether a melon was ripe simply by touching it. They could stand beside a broken car, stare into the engine compartment, and somehow diagnose the problem through facial expressions alone. Then we became adults and discovered the terrible truth: they're bluffing. We're all bluffing...
By The Pompous Postabout a month ago in Humor
Heat Makes Everyone Weird. Top Story - August 2026.
“All this rock and concrete is making me eggboiled, HEEHEE!” She swept the sweat from her hairline with the back of her hand, then pressed a tissue against her scotch‑tired eyes. She could’ve used the tissue for both, but she didn’t care. Her features were magnificent, and her head was small.
By Caitlin Charltonabout a month ago in Humor
