Sarcasm
The Bionic Herald Declares War on the Gray Lady
On my first day at The Bionic Herald, I was told three things: Never mention “clickbait” in front of the editor-in-chief. Never praise the New York Times within earshot of the copy desk. And never, under any circumstances, ask why the office espresso machine is labeled “Pulitzer Fuel.”
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
DISCLAIMER
A lot of the content on this blog is extreme, offensive, and extremely offensive. Sorry. I am a vulgarian, I wish I wasn't, but I am. What's more: I have always been a vulgarian. I think it's because, where my parents' generation got Monty Python and The Beatles, my generation got South Park and Eminem; frankly, I think us millennials got a raw deal as far as that goes (and also housing, and the job market, and the environment, so on and so forth). The influence of such crass media has irreparably tainted my mind, so much so that, while doing some routine cleaning, I started singing "hello penis my old friend; I've come to blow six guys again" to the tune of Simon and Garfunkle's Sound of Silence . Other hits include "cut my wife into pieces, I told her to abort" to the tune of Last Resort by Papa Roach, and "chickity China, the Chinese wiggers, you play a dope beat and the slopes start spitting" to the tune of One Week by Barenaked Ladies. I am not proud of this, and I alternate between making myself laugh out loud, and slamming my car door against my head to try and put an end to these retarded thoughts.
By INSANITY PROPER2 months ago in Humor
Four Things Humanity Has Never Properly Explained
Human civilization has accomplished some remarkable things. We split the atom. We landed people on the moon. We built machines capable of seeing galaxies billions of light-years away. Somewhere, at this very moment, scientists are using supercomputers to model the origins of the universe. And yet, three plastic clothes hangers placed side by side in a closet can still form a knot that no living mathematician could explain.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
Sonadow: Project Generation
Disclaimer: This story is not for children; it is for readers 17 and up, due to its sexual content and profanity. This is a fan fiction; I don't own any of the franchise. 7out of the 12 images were AI-generated; I included the link. I just wrote it for fun. With that said, please enjoy.
By stephanie borges2 months ago in Humor
An Investigation Into the Private Behavior of Otherwise Respectable Adults
Human beings are dignified creatures. We wear clothing. We use silverware. We attend meetings. We shake hands. We say things like, “Wonderful seeing you again,” even when we have absolutely no recollection of who we're talking to. Civilization depends upon maintaining this image. But civilization has one enormous weakness: sometimes we're alone... And the moment a human being becomes reasonably certain nobody is watching, approximately 40,000 years of social development disappears.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
Is Reading on the Toilet Still a Thing?
There was a time in America when entering someone's bathroom meant being granted access to their private literary collection. Nobody discussed this. Nobody questioned it. You simply walked into the restroom, locked the door, sat down, and discovered that your host had thoughtfully provided enough reading material to survive a minor gastrointestinal emergency.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
Melted Smiles. Runner-Up in Too Hot for This Challenge.
“Pop Goes the Weasel” blares from a sky blue van as it cruises down Cello Drive. Pete, the driver; doesn’t see a soul for miles. The lawns are a parched yellow, and wavy lines can be seen dancing over the street.
By Josh Ripperger2 months ago in Humor
Deon's Inferno. Runner-Up in Too Hot for This Challenge. Top Story - August 2026.
“Dad? Why is it so hot today?” “Because the sun is the Antichrist and our air conditioner is a piece of crap!” “You say it's because of auntie Kris? I believe it. She has a bad temper. I'm scared of her.”
By Lamar Wiggins2 months ago in Humor
The Day that Hell Froze
Everyone says that they will do something "when hell freezes over," and they mean that as a way to say that that will never happen. This story starts the day right before, in my mind, hell froze over and is about what happened to me on that day.
By Adora Hooper2 months ago in Humor
