ComedyWriting
Four Things Humanity Has Never Properly Explained
Human civilization has accomplished some remarkable things. We split the atom. We landed people on the moon. We built machines capable of seeing galaxies billions of light-years away. Somewhere, at this very moment, scientists are using supercomputers to model the origins of the universe. And yet, three plastic clothes hangers placed side by side in a closet can still form a knot that no living mathematician could explain.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
An Investigation Into the Private Behavior of Otherwise Respectable Adults
Human beings are dignified creatures. We wear clothing. We use silverware. We attend meetings. We shake hands. We say things like, “Wonderful seeing you again,” even when we have absolutely no recollection of who we're talking to. Civilization depends upon maintaining this image. But civilization has one enormous weakness: sometimes we're alone... And the moment a human being becomes reasonably certain nobody is watching, approximately 40,000 years of social development disappears.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
Gimme Some Sugar
I treat female-only gatherings with the same enthusiasm as a funeral. Especially when the females are highly dolled up with dresses and are usually doing something with arts and crafts. I’m not girly, I’m not artsy, and when you put me in a room with women who ARE, I stick out like a sore thumb.
By Jessica Drake2 months ago in Humor
Is Reading on the Toilet Still a Thing?
There was a time in America when entering someone's bathroom meant being granted access to their private literary collection. Nobody discussed this. Nobody questioned it. You simply walked into the restroom, locked the door, sat down, and discovered that your host had thoughtfully provided enough reading material to survive a minor gastrointestinal emergency.
By The Pompous Post2 months ago in Humor
Pandit Yad Adnan and the Hottest Month
By the time Sri Venkata Narasimha Rao fled Russia for Somalia, he had acquired three new names, two pairs of sunglasses, one linen suit of a color best described as unsuccessful pistachio, and a theory--unsupported by meteorology, theology, politics, common sense, or any other branch of human inquiry--that a man pursued by the consequences of his past ought always to travel south.
By ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR2 months ago in Humor
I Wonder What the X-Men Do in a Heat Wave. Content Warning.
I wonder what the X-Men do in a heat wave. I realise this as I realise the lock on my bedroom door in my college dorm has swollen shut as the metal has expanded. And the windows are barred because of the time Tina from Humanities got slightly inebriated after drinking her stomach’s capacity of tequila and tried to jump out the window.
By Paul Stewart2 months ago in Humor
