Too Hot

It’s too hot for this.

Too hot for anything.

I have no layers left to take off.

Merely an endless quest for cool sheets

Not already warmed by body heat

Sweat trickles down my body

Tracing tracks of discomfort over my skin

AC can only do so much

It is a fighting retreat

Not quite a losing battle

But a holding action

Until the sun goes down

And the world cools

A little

I will take what I can get

However slight the relief.

Even a cold shower is warm,

From travelling through pipes

Heated by the hot, still air

There is no escape,

Except through fantasy

And walk-in freezers.

Venture outside, to seek cooler climate

The heat hits like a brick to the face

The steering wheel burns to the touch

Seat belts sear exposed skin

The cooling system roars defiance

As it battles the heat already there

The best parking is by shade

Not distance under sweltering sun

Umbrellas are held high, portable shade

As families scurry from tree to tree

Children wilt like flowers

Overexposed and exhausted,

Mouths open to gasp for air

And dry out like desert sand.

The goal is in sight, the shopping centre

Keeping cool by industrial fans

Cold drinks and ice creams make a killing

From a captive and desperate audience

Everyone else had the same idea

There is barely room to move

Seating and tables are at a premium

Check the website for nearby pools

They are at capacity, closed to new visitors

Until the existing ones leave

Was it worth it?

Home was not as cool,

But nor were we being bumped into

Jostled by bare, sweaty skin

Men can take their shirts off in public

And walk around in boy shorts without comment.

Men officially suck

And will continue to do so

Until clothing no longer feels like oppression

In the heat of summer.

Do we watch a movie?

The cinema will be cool, at least…

But likely also crowded

Do we return home?

Where people can be kept at arms length

And nudity is allowed

If not expected

Damp towels over the windows

Cool the air coming in

Keeping them damp will entertain the children

Armed with super soakers

And warned against getting the carpet wet.

The sun has passed its zenith

And begin to descend

Toward the horizon

In an hour or two, we can turn the hose on

And fill the kiddie pool for a dip.

We will get through this.

This scorching day

And settle to night

As the cicadas scream a night time chorus.

Only another two months…

Then we can complain about the cold

Instead

I’m Australian, so it’s winter edging into Spring here, but the memory of hot Australian summers is inescapable…

Here, in summer, you bring a water bottle to walk down the street to a bus stop, the best parking is determined by shade, rather than distance to your destination, and cars are an active health hazard due to the potential for skin burns.

If we’re lucky in one respect, it’s that Australian housing is built for extreme weather temperatures, in ways that European housing (outside Scandinavia and the Arctic Circle) and even most USA housing isn’t.

UK housing especially is meant to keep the heat in, so when a heatwave strikes, it’s harder to vent the excess.

Also, complaining about the heat is a national pastime, and no one asks what you’re doing if you step away from your desk to stick your head in the work freezer for a few seconds, or borrow one of the ice packs kept in there.