Summer Breeze

I stood at the water's edge, surveying the sand

the heat rising like a phoenix in Phoenix in July

Perplexed, I watched as the other beach goers danced

in the upper Fahrenheit key of, OOOMG why!?

The water was cool but the air smelled of bacon

as we simultaneously sizzled and popped

I was stunned, middle plan, how to reach umbrella shade when

the seagulls waged war and poo started to drop

We all ran for cover like a scene from a movie

some through the sand sacrificing layers of skin

Others headfirst in the water beside me

to my horror because I’d never learned how to swim

Kicking and screaming in ankle deep waves

the lifeguard said calmly, “sir, please, just stand up”

Embarrassed and grateful that I had been saved

he kindly escorted me back to my stuff

As new victims arrived, drawing fire, with their snacks

we found a much needed reprieve from the tumbling turds

Reapplying our sunscreen, though missing spots on our backs

we watched as they ran, no one saying a word

Seagull scat scattered, as far as the eye could see

hundreds of casualties washing the horror away

I could only use one, the other blurred by the sting

when hit by a sniper gull, on the side my face

I cracked open a soda to quench the fire within me

an inferno raging from the depths of my bowel

Only to be swarmed by dehydrated bees

I put on a show dueling them with my towel

They stuck out their stingers, as if declaring war

I stood my ground with a flip flop in hand

One of them stung me recruiting 200 more

The TikTokers’s filmed as I was making a stand

Victory would be won, as I grabbed my repellent

spraying, full force, all the protection of raid

But something was amiss, every body could smell it

as it exploded I think I saw, “keep stored in the shade”

A plume of toxic, encircled my umbrella

as a wave of panic crashed over me

Next thing I remember, this really nice fella

held up some fingers and I shouted out, “3”

I must have been close, because after, he cleared me

the crowd around thinned, and I could finally breathe

I felt something on my tongue, it was a wee tiny wing

attached to a stunned but clearly pissed off, little bee

I sputtered and spat, waving my arms like a madman

finally freeing his body from mine

spit him so hard he landed atop of my coke can

Well, I have another, so this time, that will be fine

He dipped his antenna in, his curling tongue lightly tasted

“yeah, this is the stuff I’ve been hearing about”

It must have been the heat there’s no way I was wasted

he acted all drunk and started flying about

The radio announcer, announced, “it’s a record hot day

index’s will be reaching an impressive degree

Stay inside your houses, that’s what the experts are saying “

I thought to myself, “man, is this dude for real?”

I’d already been out in this heat for a couple of hours

and I was just fine, minus a blister or two

At least that’s what I thought, until some kid screamed, “look, monster!”

my reflection suggesting that my beach day was through

“Fine!” I exclaimed, as I packed all the goodies I’d brought

stuffed it tightly in my bag, feeling overly sun-kissed

I hot sand hopped it back to my car, baking where I left it

mumbling under my breath, “it’s just too damn hot for this!”