"You're Nothing Without Your Family" Is a Lie

Family is supposed to be one of the most important things in life, right?

So then, why am I feeling dread going to a big family event at a time when I should want them more?

We are taught that from a young age, and it is reinforced throughout our lives, that family is #1. But what if family is actually overrated? What if it brings us stress and suffocation instead of bringing us happiness and fulfillment?

This is something I have been pondering over the last few days, as I was recently surrounded by family members 24/7 at a family wedding, all of us in an Air BnB.

It was definitely an interesting experience and one that made me question the importance of family.

On the one hand, it was great to catch up with family members I hadn't seen in a while and create new memories together. But on the other hand, it was hard being constantly surrounded by people and not having any alone time. I felt like I couldn't breathe at times and longed for some solitude.

Maybe it's the writer in me...or perhaps I've turned into a grouch?

Let me give you an example or two of what I mean.

Morning coffee.

I usually don't eat breakfast till really late am, if at all.

Usually, around ten or eleven am. And even then, it's something simple and easy like hard-boiled eggs and peanut butter.

My mornings consist of coffee and about an hour of deep reading.

That didn't happen. Coffee was out in the kitchen with everyone. So having to be out of our room, at the table, with family, with a massive bowl of scrambled eggs and bacon being made, tossed me a morning curveball.

I'm not a fan of curveballs. I like my routines. I thrive on sameness and simplicity.

My writing time.

This is a sacred time for me and the moments where I can take my mind wherever it desires and peck away at my Mac.

Plus, I have client work I needed to get done, so solitude and silence are my two best friends. It's part of my j-o-b, but that's hard for folks to grasp who have a 9-5 and are on PTO for this family event.

But when the cousins came over after breakfast and we all headed to the pool, that afternoon curveball put me into a neurotic tizzy.

I'm not a fan of curveballs. I like my routines. I thrive on sameness and simplicity.

Finally, let's talk about food.

For me, it's mostly Keto.

Proteins, good fats, and wicked low carbs are how I strive to stay lean these days. It works for me. On Keto, I can maintain my waist and, at the same time, keep my energy levels sky-high.

All that went to shit as soon as we went grocery shopping and stocked the fridge with cookies, crackers, candy, and a plethora of other goodies, which I knew would wreak havoc on my feeding routines.

This kind of culinary curveball doesn't just mess with my svelt waistline (heh-heh) but also screws up my gut and other "habits."

I'm not a fan of curveballs. I like my routines. I thrive on sameness and simplicity.

So my breakfasts were in disarray. My writing never got done. And I ate like a damn pig because all we had was junk food.

And then the wedding happened.

We saw our cousin and her new bride exchange vows.

We watched him kiss his bride.

Mom cried, dad hugged his daughter, I looked at my wife and turned to see family behind me, in front of me, to my sides, and I realized...

Family. Is. Everything.

Suddenly the scrambled eggs and bacon...the scared quiet time with my Mac...the Keto to preserve my waistline habit...these all seemed to pale around the realization of why we, why I, was stuffed into an Air BnB with a bunch of family members to experience this fantastic event.

I learned to embrace the curveballs.

My routines will still be there. I stepped out of sameness and simplicity for the sake of family.

At the end of the day, family is family, and it's the only one we'll ever truly have.

They are the people who have known you your whole life and who will be there for you through thick and thin.

Even though they might drive you crazy sometimes and break you out of your routines, you wouldn't trade them for the world.

So while I went into the long weekend miffed at the fact that my routines would be upturned and thinking that this much family time might be overrated, I left here wondering when we would do this again.

I Gotta go now. My flight is boarding...headed back to "routinesville."