Will Do You Let Jealousy Ruin Your Relationship?

Jealousy is a couple is a topic that can be talked about a lot…

But at first, a little story. A young woman, Sarah, falls in love with someone for the first time in her life. He is everything she ever wanted (or so she imagines), she has all the possible and impossible qualities! A real war begins to conquer him, and the day he says "I love you" is the happiest day of his life.

He deserves this happiness, he just fought to have it! He changed his hairstyle - he found out he liked redheads, he bought new clothes - he liked long skirts, not pants, he started listening to rock - he likes Iron Maiden… So he won honestly (? ) this happiness. She has changed to be what he is looking for, just as he is what she is looking for.

Of course, she gave up seeing some of her friends because he told her that men only want one thing from a woman, but she doesn't care! Those were just friends she was dating, this is her life! It's been 3, 5, 10 months. They are happy in their isolation: he has it only for himself, she has it too.

One day, he tells him to delete some former colleagues from Messenger and Facebook, even his former bank colleague. Well, he hasn't seen them in a long time anyway!

But, at some point, he tells her that he needs space, that he is suffocating. She?! Is she suffocating him? He suggests that at least two nights a week, they both see each other with other friends, separately. He, who a few months ago can't stand another man looking at her!

And how to see friends when she rejected them and pushed them away? For him… You don't see much with girls either… everything, to be always with him. What can he do now? All she can do is listen to him, try (again) to change to please him. Because now she is addicted to him, isolated from everyone before her.

And one more thing: he reproaches her that she is no longer the same person as in the beginning, that she has changed, that she no longer recognizes her. Yes, it has changed for him, to satisfy his need for possession. But when he is sure that his "property" is not in danger, he will eventually get bored of it!

This is a true story (unfortunately) and it is repeated over and over again. Jealousy is a couple is like a small wound that, as it grows, becomes infected and destroys the relationship.

It is not for nothing that he is called the "green-eyed monster." Of course, it can happen - and it often happens - the other way around: let the woman be the possessive one and isolate him, alienate the man; or both partners may be jealous: then, the jealousy in the couple is the most dangerous: the two will start a fight of pride, they will each want to be the absolute master of the other; to control his actions, thoughts, feelings

But how can one speak of the master of a… person? People own objects, objects that they buy when they need them or when they want them and then get rid of them!

It's horrible to think the same about human beings. Jealousy in the couple, this ugly feeling of possession, should not exist! You have to respect the other person, you have to love his individuality, for better or worse, not change him by isolating him from his world.

You don't have to be afraid that someone else will come and steal your loved one. It is not an object without a will that can be stolen. If the partner is not faithful, then it means that it is his own choice, not that he was stolen and bewitched by another person.

It means that something is wrong in the relationship. Maybe even the love of the couple has been replaced, dethroned by the jealousy of the couple…

Why do so many people feel jealous and extremely possessive? Because they are afraid, they are afraid that they have not given enough to their partner and that he will look elsewhere.

I live in constant fear when he is away: if he meets someone if that person casts a spell on him and shows him how little he has with me and how much he could have with her/him? This constant fear can make a person sick, it can change him completely. And it comes from a lack of self-confidence. In the story above, what do you think caused Sarah's lack of self-confidence to grow?

The very fact that she was willing from the beginning to change, to give up important parts of her personality for her partner! Towards the end, she becomes a weak person, easy to manipulate, and thus unattractive to her partner. He is honest when he tells her that he no longer recognizes her, but he does not realize that these changes have been influenced by him!

So when you feel jealous, what better way to do it? It's best to ask yourself, "Do I have any reason to feel this way?" Am I exaggerating? "," Isn't it useless to provoke a scandal out of nothing, a scandal that can only do more harm? "," Isn't it just that I don't have enough self-esteem and imagine things that aren't there? ".

Try to improve your self-image, see in yourself the qualities that your partner and friends see and especially, try to get rid of the irrational fear that you will be deceived! Not everything is white or black. And when you feel the bite of the "green-eyed monster", try to logically dissect the situation, to see if there is a real problem or just the emotions have upset your reason!

Of course, a little jealousy is needed it is genetically implemented. Without jealousy, it would not have been possible to perpetuate a certain genetic line. In conditions of competition, jealousy made the man gain the right to possess a woman who would bear only his descendants.

Or, conversely, when the number of men dwindled - they died while hunting - women entered the competition to provide a protector to protect and feed their children… But people no longer live in caves, so there is no need to he still behaves like a caveman!

Jealousy in the couple, which has overcome the phase of simple teasing, is a disease!